Jan 2, 1991
Alma 11:22- Amulek said that he would only speak those words which were in accordance with the Holy Ghost. I sure have a long way to go before I am able to say that I speak only according to the workings of the Holy Ghost. That is now one of my goals. How little understanding of spiritual testimonies Zeezrom had. To think that a testimony could be traded for any amount of money. Yet how often do many of us trade eternal goals for worldly goals? I certainly feel the importance of working towards and focussing only on those goals and things that will help OUR family to be forever.
Verse 23; The devil truly had a strong hold on the heart of Zeezrom. For this reason Amulek called him a child of hell. Amulek then explains that temptations of worldly things are completely insignificant when compared to eternal covenants. For this reason, we must constantly keep in mind OUR true goals.
Verse 24: Zeezrom knew that there was a God, but for the sake of obtaining lucre, Zeezrom denied the existence of God. Very few people actually believe that there is no God, but rather they deny their testimony for the sake of reaching and justifying their spiritual goals.
I can’t believe that today was the second day of the year. this is definitely going to be a very long year. Well, okay, it was a good try at a joke.
We went to Handford today and met with a great majority of the members there. There are a few of them that have really got strong testimonies, but for the most part we will really have to spend some serious time trying to convert the members that we have. Too many of them were baptized by missionaries who didn’t speak Hmong and didn’t use inter peters either. No wonder the people have a tough time staying active. I just hope we can get the ball rolling in the right direction in a hurry.
We had a good meeting with the bishop in Handford tonight. We talked a lot about how the Hmong program is going and where it is going to be headed over the next few years. There is one man there named Chou Yang who was baptized by Elder Piffer in San Diego that is a very capable Priesthood leader. He holds the Melchizedek Priesthood. I am really looking forward to working with him.
No mail today. Not one person in the apartment got mail today. Well, at least I wasn’t the only one.
Jan 3, 1991
Alma 11: 25: Zeezrom was caught in his guile. The Lord and revealed to Amulek the true intent of Zeezrom’s heart. Zeezrom had committed a sin before God and Amulek. We may be able to hide some of our sins from the eyes and understanding of men, but all of our sins are clearly seen before God. In asking Amulek to deny his testimony, Zeezrom was asking Amulek to destroy his own soul. Those who seek to destroy the souls of others will certainly not achieve exaltation without sincere repentance.
Verse 26: Amulek had already borne testimony. As a result, Zeezrom is going over the testimony to try to find fault in it.
Verse 27: Amulek again bears witness that there is a true and living God. In all of it’s simplicity, this is certainly a glorious testimony.
Verse 28: Zeezrom is trying to make Amulek cross his words. Didn’t Zeezrom realize that the wisdom of the Spirit was far, far greater than his own.
Verse 29: Amulek does not go into a complicated explanation. He merely answers no. The Godhead acts in its entirety as one God. As a result, Amulek replied that there is only one God.
Verse 30: Zeezrom had entirely denied the workings of the Spirit in his soul. Once one falls into this trap, it is very difficult to struggle our of. we must never allow our “logic” to over run the workings of the Holy Spirit within us.
Okay, today was a lousy day. Since everyone was transferred in and our today, we spent all day running people around. The worst part was just the fact that I realized how very few people really truly care about the work that we are about.
It just seems to me like the harder I try, the less progress we make. It is just really hard. I’m not sure what I’ve got to do here to be able to get things going. I know that the Lord would not send me here if He had not prepared someone to listen to AND except the gospel. What and I doing wrong?
I just really need a shot in the arm right now. I’ not sure how long it will be until things turn around for the Hmong people here, but I am sure that they will. I just hope and pray that the Lord will allow me to be a part of that. I just wish I knew what I needed to do to get things started down here. Why can’t I do it?
I got a letter from Jane today. She is doing better. I just wish that I could get things going here.
Jan 4, 1991
Luke 13:3- There is no one on the face of this earth that does not need repentance. The bad things that happen to us in this life are not always meat to indicate our wickedness. We all have tests presented to us. We all need to repent.
Alma 11:31- An angel had spoken to Amulek to show him & teach him about God. Whether we see an angel or we are touched by the Holy Ghost, we can have the same testimony in the same magnitude as the men that have been taught by angels. In fact, seeing an angel does not give us a testimony. The testimony of Amulek came from the promptings of the Holy Ghost confirming to him the truth of the things the angel had told him.
Verses 32-33- Zeezrom is continuing to attempt to catch Amulek in a trap. The important thing to notice is that Amulek continued to follow the promptings of the Spirit in his reply.
Verse 34- In the pre-existence, we were not promised that christ would save us IN our sins. We were promised He would save us from our sins. If Christ were to lie, He could not be the Christ. Therefore, it is impossible for Christ to deny His word.
Well, today was spent in tulare, For some reason 90% of the people were working with were not home. I don’t know what the deal was, but no one was home. I feel like we worked our butts off, yet we didn’t get anywhere. i just feel like our work here is not helping anyone. It’s just that we don’t seem to make progress with them. I felt like we were able to teach fairly well today, but we only had one chance to teach a discussion ad that one went really well. I still don’t know what in the world I am going to do to get stuff going in the right direction down here. I am really frustrated.
I got completely rocked at the mailbox today. How wonderful! I haven’t heard from my family all week long. I hope that my family is doing well. It’s cold inside today.
January 5, 1991
Luke 15:7- There shall be more hoy in Heaven over those of us who reach the age of acceptability, learn of the gospel, and repent than over those who fro one reason or another are never accountable for their sins. All of those who reach the age of accountability are in need of repentance.
Alma 11:35- Zeezrom’s pretended misunderstanding is simply to try to deceive the people. I really believe that Zeezrom understood a great deal of the gospel. In any debate, one is much better off if he already understands the other side of the argument. Most people who argue against the church all ready have a good understanding of the principles of the gospel, but they have not sought a spiritual witness. The SPIRITUAL WITNESS is the KEY.
Verse 36: Amulek’s words had been twisted by Zeezrom. When we teach the gospel, it is important that the people understand clearly the things that we are tacking. If someone says something to confuse or mislead them, it is our responsibility to clarify the things we have said.
Verse 37: Amulek is simply explaining the fact that Christ has said that no unclean thing can dwell with God. Therefore, we must be cleansed before we can enter into the Kingdom of God.
This morning we went to see Mai xiong and her family. She is one of the members here in Visalia. Her brother-in-law and his family all arrived here not too long ago. I was sitting there trying to talk to talk to them, but I had a sore throat, stuffed nose, and a headache, I felt like I was going to die. Anyway, we stayed there for about an hour and then we came home. I slept for about three hours but I still don’t feel too darn much better. I must have caught something from on of these little kids.
I got a letter from Mr. jacobson today. He seems to be doing well and having fun. It was sure good to hear from him. In evaluating this last month, I would have to say that I have accomplished little to nothing. I am going to have to come up with a better plan, but I don’t know what it will be. Sometimes I hate being a missionary. (MOM: As an aside… Scott has been doing a lot of worrying and pining over Kristin. He is not incredibly focused. I have omitted all of the writing about Kristin. If you want the blessings you have to stay focused and keep the mission rules!)
January 6, 1990
Alma 11:38-39- Jesus Christ is the Eternal Father of this Earth. Christ is the Father because it was Christ who created the earth. It was also Christ who helped us to overcome both sin and death. Christ is the one who created this earth. He will also be here at the end. He exists from eternity to eternity. he is the beginning and the end.
Verse 40- Those who believe in Christ will do His will. Because they both have faith and works, they will be saved through Christ’s atonement. We can not be saved in any way without faith in Christ. We must manifest that faith through our works.
Verse 41: Those who do not believe in Christ will remain in the wicked state forever. However, they too are helped by the atonement, for they will rise from the grave during the resurrection. Resurrection is a free gift from christ.
Verse 42: Once Christ opened the gates of death, the way was opened for every soul to overcome death through the resurrection of both body and soul.
Verse 43- Our new bodies will be perfect in both function and form. After our resurrection, we will be brought to stand before the judgement bar of God. We will have a full knowledge of all of our guilt. however, through repentance that guilt can be taken away.
Well, today was a pretty good day, except for the fact that not one person showed up for church in Hanford and only part of one Hmong family showed up in Visalia. AAAAAHHHH! What am I going to do? I have really had a very hard time having the spirit lately. I have to keep myself from getting frustrated or upset. I just feel so inadequate for what I am doing. I really need some help from my Heavenly Father, but I’m not sure how to get it. things down here have got to break loose soon, but I just don’t know how long I can take getting rocked like this. I really feel sick today. I wish I could get over this cold. I just wish that we could have just a little success to keep me going. Well, tomorrow is P-day and I am going to play so hard that it hurts.
Man I’m tired! I think that providing the motivation for 2 people all of the time has just about worn me out.
Something happened tonight to make the ache go away for just a little while. I was really glad.
Jan 7, 1991
Alma 11:44- Then first part of this verse makes it very clear that every single person born on this earth will be resurrected. After each of us is resurrected, we will each be brought before the Godhead to be judged according to our works- not our faith. In this way, the resurrection brings about the end of the first spiritual death.
Verse 45: After we are resurrected, our spiritual selves and physical selves become merged as one being. Our bodies and spirits can never again be separated. After our resurrection, we will no longer be corruptible. In its resurrected form, our new lody- spirit will be God-like. It is this very form that we all came to this earth to obtain.
Verse 46: The people were astonished because the Spirit of the Lord had confounded the wise. Zeezrom’s worldly logo had failed him. Zeezrom began to tremble for he knew that he had truly lied before God. (Verse 36). Amulek had finished speaking the words of the Spirit so he quit. It is often hard for me to stop speaking when the Spirit stops prompting. I need to quit trying to use my own logic.
Boy, oh boy! Did I need a P-day today or what! My mind has just been fired lately. I really feel a lot better after a relaxing day.
Today we did our shopping, washed our clothes, and basically got cleaned up around here. It doesn’t take long at all for this apartment to turn into a complete hole. I hardly wrote any letters at all today. I wrote a letter to my family and one to my girl. That’s it. I only wrote two letters. What a bucket! Oh well, everyone has to have a day off sooner or later.
Did I get spoiled at the mailbox today or what?! I got a letter, a tape, cookies, and Journal pages all from Kristin. She is the best. I really wish I could be there with her now, but I know that she is learning things now that she could not learn if I was there. In the same way, I am learning things that couldn’t learn if she was here. I can’t wait until we have learned enough to be able to be together again. I am constantly amazed at how much I learn while I am engaged in the Lord’s work.
I really need to come up with a better way to use my study time in the morning. My scriptural knowledge and language skills are simply not progressing quickly enough. sometimes I feel like there is simply too much to learn.
Jan 8, 1991
Luke 16:30-31; In this parable, Christ teaches us that if we will not repent at the bidding of the prophets, we will not repent at the sight of great miracles. Logic can not cause us to repent and obey the gospel. Only one thing can cause us to repent- the Holy Ghost. Miracles do not bring about faith, faith brings about miracles.
James 1:3- The trying of my faith teaches patience.
Alma 5:1- Alma started to spread the gospel first in on land, and then to go to many others. I think that here in Visalia we really need to limit our efforts to a select few families.
Verse 2: Just like we teach in the first discussion, prophets teach in two ways.
1. They teach the people that they are able to speak to.
2. They record, or cause to be recorded, the words which they preach.
Alma both taught and recorded the things that he taught so that we can learn from them.
Verse 3: I will continue w/ this verse tomorrow, but for now I will say that Alma had received authority from his father to act in the office of High Priest over the church. This was before christ established the current order of church organization.
We had a zone conference today with President Bott from 8:00 am- 5:00 pm. It was so awesome. President Bott is just the nearest guy. We talked for a long time about all kinds of stuff.
One of the things that President Bott talked about was the law of consecration. He told us that we are now expected to live the law of consecration in the mission field. He said that the general authorities had told him that this was in prelude to the time that the law of consecration would again be applied in the church. he told us that the Lord wanted us to learn to live the law now so that we will be able to accept it later. It really made me feel honored to be able to serve a mission at this time in my life and at this time. Wow! The Milleneum is definitely getting closer.
This talk today made me really wonder about my goals in life as will as my expectations of what my life will be like.
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