February 7, 1991
Three Nephi 15:10 – where else could such simple scriptures be found? Christ has given us his Commandments through his own voice and the voices of his prophets. The prophets have all taught of and testified of Jesus Christ. Christ has given us his Commandments. Now it is our job to keep them. It is really that simple. We either keep the Commandments and are safe, or we do not and we are damned.
Verse 11: Jesus has been instructing the multitude and now turns to his disciples. Christ is always giving special instructions to his leaders.
Verse 12: the people on the American continent or of the tribe of Manasseh. As his chosen leaders, the disciples were to be an example to the entire world. As missionaries, we are also an ensign to the world. Sometimes that is really really tiring. As Latter Day Saints we are always an ensign to the world
Verse 13: America has been consecrated for the inheritance of the sons of Joseph. How blessed we are to be able to live in our land of inheritance. Very few Israelites, proportionally speaking, have been allowed to actually live in the lands of their inheritance
Verse 14: in all of his resurrected glory, Christ was still subject to the Commandments of his Father. I certainly have a lot to learn about being submissive to the will of God. The more righteous we are, the more we will be blessed.
It says in the scriptures in the last days, the love of men will wax cold. I witnessed an example of that today. We volunteered some time at the Visalia emergency relief Center. A man came for some clothes. I ask his address and he said he had no place to live, but his sister lived here and I would write her address down. I cannot imagine not allowing a homeless brother or sister to live with me! I don't care what differences there are. Family is still family. It really scares me that people can be so wickedly cruel.
Because it was transfer day, the zone leader, Elder Miller didn't have a companion all day, so we teamed up with him. After teaming up with me twice, he now knows more hmong than my companion. I'm not too sure how my companion feels about that.
My companion has studied hmong now for two days in a row. So he is definitely getting better. I have really seen a change in his attitude too. Lately he has been much more in line with the rules.
I got a letter from Jane today. My original suspicions were right. Jack did and is cheating on her at least now I feel that the situation they are in is far far more avoidable for us. He told Jane that it was his third affair over the course of their marriage. Jane told him that she forgave him, but he said he didn't really ask her to anyway, and he wasn't coming back. He has filed for divorce. At least now Jane can get on with her life knowing that it was not her fault. Jack has certainly bought himself a ticket to hell.
February 8, 1991
3 Nephi 15:15 – we are all given revelations and commandments according to our reception of the things we have all ready been given and our level of obedience to those things. The Father commanded Christ to teach far more to those in the American continent than to those in Jerusalem because the people in America with far more prepared than the ones in Jerusalem. For this reason, we can learn much more by reading the book of Mormon and by reading the Bible. The Nephites and Lamanites were not the only ones who have been let out of Israel by the hand of the Lord.
Verse 16 and 17-The Father commanded Christ that he should tell those in Jerusalem that he had other sheep, these other sheep were the other tribes of Israel. The reason Christ told them in this way was so that only those who are in tune with the spirit could understand his sayings.
Verse 18: those in Jerusalem received not the things that Christ said. If they had, they would have been given more light and more knowledge. This is exactly the way that when we deny the promptings of the Holy Ghost, the Holy Ghost quits prompting.
Verse 19: any time that I have a lot of knowledge, it is only due to my iniquity. I have an infinite lack of knowledge. I must therefore have an infinite amount of iniquity. My works are so inadequate compared to my blessings.
Today was just one of those days it just makes me laugh. There was nothing else that could be done. After riding around all morning and being totally unable to find anyone interested, we came home for lunch. Why Elder Watson was trying to adjust the height of his seat when he stripped out the bolt that held the seat in place. Since we decided to give our car to the sister missionaries and share one with the other companionship, today wasn't our day with the car. Anyway, we spent one hour riding to the bike shop and fixing his seat. We didn't teach anyone today, so that was rather disappointing.
Kristen’s support and encouragement have really made the difference between me being a good missionary and an average missionary. I am working hard at being a truly great missionary, but there is just so much to learn.
I got pictures of my family's new house back home. It is totally beautiful. The only problem is that it doesn't seem much like home. I guess that's alright though because home is where your heart is. I don't think I'll feel like I'm home and tell I am with all of our family.
February 9, 1991
3 Nephi 15:20-We all have it with in our reach to know all things. Why don't I? I do not know all things because of my iniquities. If I was perfect, the Lord would make all things known unto me. Judging from the fact that I know very little, I would say that I am a far far cry from being perfect.
Verse 21: All those who believe in Christ will be part of his fold. Everyone on this earth is also one of those who was not of the fold in Jerusalem. As each of us becomes a member of the church, we become part of Christ fold.
Verse 22: We must be certain to understand scriptures not through our reasons, but rather through the Holy Ghost. Things of the spirit cannot be understood through reasoning. We must use the spirit to discern things of God.
Verse 23: when understood through the Spirit, scriptures are so plain and simple. It is only through our reasoning for lack of spirit that causes us to make the scripture so complex and difficult. I know that when I have the spirit, scriptures are simply unfolded before my eyes. When I do not have the spirit, even the simplest of scripture seems difficult and complex.
Verse 24: those who hear Christ voice and do his will are part of his fold. If we truly do according to his will, we will be numbered among those who the father has given to Christ. I want so badly to be counted His. I want us all to be counted His.
Well, this morning Elder Miller left without filling the car up with gas. That makes it kind of tough to go to Hanford. Elder Miller gets all of the gas money for the car. While we were waiting for Elder Miller to get back, we all started talking about trading bike frames. By the time we got finished, I had it set up where I could trade right frames three times and make $400. Anyway, the guy at the bike shop is going to check and see how much a new bike frame would cost me on Monday. I might go ahead and make the trades and end up with a far nicer bike. I'm not sure.
We spent this afternoon in Hanford. It was an extremely productive day. We were able to teach three discussions that all went quite well. I love days that we get to teach a lot. There is nothing better than teaching the gospel to someone. I can't wait to be able to truly teach the gospel to my children.
We are spending the night in Hanford. The water here is really gross it smells like it has a lot of sulfates in it. It's not sick. I hate taking a shower in it too. I can't wait to get back to Visalia tomorrow to shower and clean water.
February 10, 1991
Alma 12:1-Alma spoke by the spirit which led to the silencing of Zeezrom's argument of reason. Zeezrom was lying and deceiving. This deception is what Satan is best that. At this point, he begin to speak and teach things beyond that which Amulek had spoken. When both companions are led by the Spirit, they can build on one another's words and profit greatly from the spirit that they have in common.
Verse two: Zeezrum had chosen to make a public conflict. The Lord's preferred way to call people to repentance in is in private. Satan is the one who chooses to make conflicts public. The Lord's servants need not fear public confrontations. They only need to be certain that they are being led by the Spirit in all that they do and say.
Verse three: Alma wanted to be certain that Zeezron understood the position he was in. It had been demonstrated to the Zeezrum that the Lord's servants had far greater power than he had. Alma wanted to be sure that Zeezrom knew that it was the Holy Ghost that gave them the power-Not their own reasoning.
Verse 4: although Lord power is infinitely greater, we should never forget the cunning of the devil. Satan will stop at nothing to get us to deny the things which we know to be right. We must always take heed against the subtlety of Satan. He will gradually lead us from that path. The reason that the prophet has warned against so many seemingly minor things is so that we are not led to commit other, far worse sins.
Today Church sucked! I had thought that we were finally getting somewhere, but we had about no one at church again today. Sometimes being a missionary can stink. We only had one family show up in Hanford, and no families came at all in Visalia. Aaaaaaa!
Today we were supposed to ride our bikes after church to go see people. The problem was that Elder Pe'a, one of the span-ams, borrowed my comp's bike yesterday. He left it at a members house! We have pretty much spent the entire afternoon doing nothing! I hate days when I don't get to teach. I think I'll just go read my scriptures and go to sleep!
February 11, 1991
Alma 12:5 – when we yield to sin, it is never the will of the Lord. Every single time that we sin, we are acting according to the plan of Satan. When we sin, it gives Satan a chance to exercise his power over us. This is why it is so difficult to overcome sin – Satan has been allowed a foothold in our hearts to exercise power there. The council that Alma gives here is given to all those who were present as well as to all of us who read his words.
Verse six: all of the spirits of the devil have one goal in mind, to bind us with the chains of hell. Satan wants nothing more than to destroy us.
Verse seven: Alma and Amulek had shown Zeezerom that the Lord knew of his evil plan. I really believe that Zeezrom represented his case so many times that he actually came to believe it himself. At this point, he was brought to a full knowledge of his sins. No matter how much we justify our sins, or deny that they occurred, we will be forced to face the Lord in Judgment Day and stand before him. Both he and I will have a perfect knowledge of all of my sins. I hope that at that day I will have repented fully of all of my sins.
Verse eight: Zeezrom had actually been humbled by this experience. At this point, he wanted to be taught the gospel. We all must be humble to some extent or another before we are ready to truly learn the Gospel. We must know for ourselves of the truth. To gain this witness and truly be committed, we must be humbled.
Feb. 12, 1991
Well, I didn't get to write in my journal last night so I thought I would see what I can do now. I'm at the church waiting for president got to get here for zone conference.
Yesterday was one of those days. Those days that I didn't even get a chance to sit down for a second.
Zone conference:
No matter how well we teach, it does no good if we do not live by the principles we teach.
If we are going to let our light shine, we must have a bright light.
The LDS church is the second largest in California. People notice us.
"It is more important to BE than to seem."
We must be before we can teach.
If you want a bright light, then you set a big example.
Sister Bott- served with all your heart. We must serve with love.
If we can turn our hearts with our might, mind, and strength, we are unbeatable.
We all have the free agency to love everyone.
If we do not serve with all we have, we will be held accountable for it.
The basis of faith, hope, charity and all other parts of the gospel is love.
Without love, we cannot enjoy any part of the Gospel.
This is a labor of love.
Pres. Bott-The person conducting never stands after the presiding person talks.
Satan will be down for 1000 years. How?
First Nephi 22:15, 26
The wicked will be burned
The people will be righteous
If the bishop tells anyone including his wife about your confession he will pay for your sins at the last day
If after going through the normal process of repentance, the guilt is still there, you must confess to your priesthood leader
After the confession, we must forgive ourselves. The only way that we can do this is through the grace of Jesus Christ. Without forgiving ourselves, forgiveness is not possible.
The priesthood leaders honestly do not remember the confession. (Alma 36:11–20, Mosiah 27:34/35)
If Repentance is not sufficient the turmoil will not end.
Principles of leadership:
You can either choose leaders or you can try to make leaders.
President Bott prefers to allow others to have leadership experience. We must follow whoever is chosen.
Well, zone conference today was awesome. We had an Asian meeting with Pres. before the conference. It was decided to send my comp an elder Sorenson's comp to Porterwick. That will mean that I will be in a zebra with Elder Sorensen. Maybe I'll get to learn to speak Laos enough to get by.
This afternoon, Elder PE'a offered me $400 from my bike. For some reason, I took him up on the deal and went and bought a Cannondale bike that is just awesome. The problem is that I will be about broke for the next three months. Oh well, that's the way goes
Tonight we went to see how Xeon family i'm not sure what happened exactly, but he freaked out and called the police. This problem he has with diabetes is nuts. He just started yelling at us and all kind of stuff. He has spent the last three days doing spirit worship. That stuff is bad. Right before he freaked out, I got the worst feeling. I know that Satan was in that room. Anyway, we left. When I got home, I called him and apologized. But I didn't know what I had done. Anyway he freaked out on me again and told me he was sending the police to my house to get me. Well, in five minutes, I talked to an officer on the phone. He had gone over to Chow's house because Chow had called twice. I explained the situation to the police officer and he said okay.
I really feel bad about what happened tonight. The thing is that I don't know what I should have done different. Not a good way to end the day.
Feb 13, 1991
I just finished reading President Bott’s newsletter to all of us for the month. I feel a lot better now than I did all night. I hare feeling helpless. That is one of the worst feelings. I hate not being able to do anything about situations. I really feel better now.
Alma 12:12- One of the wonderful parts of reading the Book of Mormon is its plainness. Amulek very plainly established the fact that we will ALL be resurrected and brought to stand before God at the last day (Alma 11:42-43). We will all be judged according to our works. We will indirectly be judged according to our thoughts and faith because these things are reflected in our actions. Our thoughts are inevitably reflected in our works. in order to do pure works, we must have pure thoughts.
Verse 13: This is the day that WE as missionaries and member missionaries spend all of our time trying to help people avoid. Then will their state truly be awful. We also must take care to always prevent our hearts from becoming hardened through pride or selfishness. We must never allow out hearts to become hardened to the Spirit.
Verse 14: I don’t ever want to be in the state that even for one millisecond. I want to always be worthy of the love of my Savior. The only way to avoid this awful and helpless state is through faith on the name of Jesus Christ and through full and complete repentance.
Feb 13, 1991
We spent most of the day today jut kind of saying good-bye to some of the people that Elder Watson had been close to. The first house that he went to was a house where only two teenage girls were home. whoops. Then when I excised ourselves and said that we had to leave, he was ticked in a serious way. He was honestly expecting me to just sit there for a couple of hours! I was really ticked. I was surprised to think that he actually thought that he could do that with me there. I guess he just figured that I would turn my head and look the other way. Well, he never told me that he was mad, but it took a couple of hours for him to decide to talk to me again. Some rules can be bent- but not broken- without hurting anything, but I can’t believe that he honestly throughout that that would be okay! Well, at least tomorrow I won’t have to deal with that.
We went to Tulare today with a new family from Thailand. They had to go to the Health Center there to be checked for tuberculosis. The nurse said that we should be checked too, so I guess I’ll see what the deal is on Friday. I guess the chances of picking it up from the Asian refugees is fairly high. I’m not too concerned about it thought.
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