Well, it all started today. I got up at 7:00 am in Logan. I finished packing and got ready to go. Before we left Logan, I asked Dad to give me a Father’s blessing. IT was really a neat blessing- he especially blessed me with patience and with health. Grandpa Hansen helped him give the blessing.
When we got to Provo, we went to ZCMI to get my suits. The pants on one suit were still wrong, so they said they would fix them and send them up Friday.
After that, we (Mom, Dad and I) went to Kristin’s apartment to get her for lunch. We went to Magleby’s for lunch. I was so nervous that I could hardly eat anything. It was so nice to be with Kristin. I love her so much. She made me feel so much better that I could hardly believe it. She was really sweet. I remember that she asked if it was O.K. for her to hold my hand. It is so neat that she supports me so much. I love her so much. I sure hope she waits for me.
We dropped Kristin off at her apartment, picked up Grandma and Grandpa at Reese’s house, and went to the MTC. I had no problem until they said for the missionaries to go through one door and the parents to go through another. My heart just sank. It was really hard to say good-bye to Mom and Dad, but things here are good. We learned part of the Hmong alphabet today. It seems pretty logical, but some of the sounds are sure tough. It said in my blessing when I was set apart that it would be easy, so i’ll keep at it. I know it will come. My teachers are great and I think I will like it here. Forgot cupcakes and camera.
May 31, 1990
Today started off at 5:00 am. I feel like I’ve been in church all day long! Actually it hasn’t really been quite that bad. All of my classes went really well. The language doesn’t seem to be overly difficult. Today we finished learning the alphabet and the tonals.
I was going to go get some stamps today, and when I turned the corner I saw Kristin sitting behind the desk. I about died! I turned around and walked the other way. I felt absolutely sick. I guess it hit me that I couldn’t be with her for 728 days. I long for her touch in an unbelievable way. I just wish she could sit next to me and talk to me. I really miss her voice. She brought me a great package. Raspberry Clearly Canadian, M&M’s, Almond Joy, O’Boisie’s and Official write to Kristin Stationary. She is going to wait, and I know I’ll be with her again, forever, but I still feel sick inside. Gosh I love her.
The spirit here is so strong. I can’t believe it. I find that I am constantly holding back the tears. The Savior died and suffered for me. The church is true. I know that everything will be all right. In 1 Nephi 3:7, it says that the Lord will provide a way. I know that he will provide a way for me to get over my homesickness. Home is where your hear it. I think the reason the Lord blessed me with the ability to learn the language easily is that I am going to miss Kristin so much. I can’t wait to hear from her tomorrow! I wish I could write her every day, but rules are meant to be kept. Obedience is the key and cornerstone of happiness.
June 1, 1990
Well, today has been awesome! I started to learn the vocabulary of Hmong. The gift of tongues is soo real! The language is coming along really easily- just like the blessing said when I was set apart. I love this work.
Today was a mini-Pday. I got to write letters to all kinds of people. i really do love being involved in the Lord’s work. What a blessing to be born in a time when I could part of this wonderful church. I love it.
All of the Elders in my branch are jealous. Kristin brought me a great big heart brownie that said, “You’re the Greatest.” on it. She was so wrong- She’s the greatest! She even brought napkins so that I could share with the other Elders. I lover her so much! All of the other Elders are saying that if I don’t marry her- they will. Will, they won’t get the chance- she’s already spoken for.
Elder Davis is still having kind of a hard time with the language. He sure tries hard- I know he’ll get it and I’ll sure help him all that I can.
I love it here! I’m so glad to be part of the work.
June 2, 1990
Today, I have had more spiritual experiences and testaments than I have ever had in my whole life put together. We had a large group meeting this morning on the purpose of missionary work. The opening hymn was “Because I have been given Much.” The spirit was so strong! I had tears rolling off of my cheeks. IT seems like hymns bring the spirit especially strong. I guess that’s why I never liked to sing. When the spirit is strong, I can’t keep from crying and I sure sound dumb if I cry during a song. One elder bore his testimony, he had been promised when he was 3 that his mother would d like to see him go on a mission. She had 6 relapses of cancer- she died 2 days after he entered the MTC. Wow! What a strong testimony!
I got 2 letters from Kristin today. They always make me fell so good. We have grown so close in the past week. I love her so much! In one of her letters, there was a piece of paper telling me she wanted me to completely avoid anything the Lisa sends. I will. The only thing I had the Lisa gave me was Mickey Mouse watch. I took it apart and threw it away. I’m not sure why Kristin felt that so strongly, but I’ll do what she asked. (Controlling Boarderline personality)
I also realized today that in order for the Lord to hold me in the hollow of his hand, I must allow myself to be held. Last night when I went to bed, I was so excited about the work that I couldn’t sleep. I absolutely love this work!
Some interesting things that I found out today- only 2 discussions have been translated into Hmong and only 1/3 of the Book of Mormon. I may be involved in the completion of the translation of the Book of Mormon. How Exciting!!!
We talked today about the discussions. I’m trying to discover how to “Create the Lasting Vision.”
About my district...
name “Xieng Choung”
members- Myself and Elder Davis- we are the only 2 who are speaking Hmong in the MTC right now.
June 3, 1990
Today has been extremely busy. There are two parts to the church. Ministration and Administration. I found out today that the part I like best is definitely ministration. For the past two days, I have been actively searching, growing and learning. Today, we had meetings all day long. I was made the Senior companion and the District Leader, so I had meetings all day on how to be those things. The spirit was strong all day, but I feel like I didn’t get to grow much.
I got a letter from Kristi, a candy bar, and some poems she had written. I love the poems she wrote. She has such a talent for writing her feelings and getting me to feel her feelings. I love her.
Dr. Covey- It’s not the snake bite that kills you. It’s chasing the sucker that drives the poison to your heart.”
There was a story told today at Mission Conference that made me realize how stupid we sometimes are-
There was a primary class- on Easter the teacher asked them to take home some plastic eggs and put something in it that reminded them of Easter and bring it back net Sunday. On Easter, she had them all tell why what was in the egg reminded them of Eater. All of the kids had marshmallow bunnies, jelly beans, or candy except one. This boy had cerebral palsy. When he opened his egg, it was empty. The kids in the clas started to laugh- they thought they were smarter than him. When the teacher asked why it was empty, the boy answered- the tomb was empty when they went to find Jesus’s body.
If only we could all be like little children. Their wisdom is so pure- it is the “wisdom’ of the world that turns us into fools.
**The Holy Ghost leads us to absolute perfection. Through following prompting of the spirit, we can actually be perfect.
June 4, 1990
Today has been the very best day of my whole life! I cant believe it. I was having a hard time figuring out what in the world I was doing here. It had been an awful day. I got a package from Kristin with cookies in it in the shapes of letters that spelled “Elder Clarke.” That was the first smile I had had all day.
This afternoon, I felt that it was a waste of time in class. Elder Piffer was discussing things of the gospel that were not important. Areas of doctrine that are very deep and that no official doctrine is established. We’re not going to need to know that to teach to people.
Tonight, in class, I was really having a difficult time feeling the spirit. I was starting to feel like lots of things didn’t make sense. Anyway, the class got sidetracked and I told how grateful I was for Kristin and my parents encouraging me to leave for my mission when I did. I’m so grateful, especially for Kristin’s encouragement. My parents tried to get me to reason things out, but she kept me following the Spirit of God! I’m thankful to God for her.
Anyway, after class, I was reading 1 Nephi 21. The scriptures were opened unto me as never before. I was reading and something whispered “gospel” to me when I was reading the word children! I never realized it before. The gospel will go forth because there is no room! The first child that was lost, was the gospel- (apostacy) verse 20. The gospel needs room to dwell, more hearts! God will lift us up in his hands as a standard! (22) The people who wait, will not be ashamed to join the church. The day has come! The lawful captive in verse 24 & 25 are the people in the communist countries that are being freed! This includes the Hmong people! The Lord will contend with me! The Lord will save his children and his gospel. What a revelation! I love the Lord with all my heart! I can’t wait to get out into the field.
Elder Davis and I each set a goal to baptize 1000 people each on our missions. We can do it! I want to be good so bad that it hurts. I can’t wait to live with god again. What a great day!
June 5, 1990
Today has been another good day, but not as good as yesterday.
Elder Erekson told us a story today about how he pictures judgement day. He said that he imagines being before the justice of God, and he is told that he has sinned and can not enter into the kingdom of God. Then he looks over at Christ and Christ says, “He’s with me.” And then he goes into Heaven. This story really inspired me. I want Christ to say, “He’s with me,” when I go before the justice of God.
I got another wonderful letter from Kristin today. She always knows just what I need to hear. I really do love her. I can’t wait until P-day when I can write to her and tell her how much i appreciate it. She also sent me more Far Side & Calvin& Hobbes cartoons. They really make me keep things in perspective.
Elder Bachman spoke today at the devotional. It was so near to hear all of the Elders stand up & sing. The spirit bore witness to me that this is the army of the Lord. I am part of that army. I must do all that I can to further this work. The Lord will soon make bare his arm against those who fight the missionaries. Elder Bachmann also told my comp & I that the Hmong people are great people. He told us to be prepared for marvelous things to come about.
The most important thing he told us is that the prophet, Ezra T. Benson, is becoming very feeble. He said that the prophet loves us & that he supports us.
He also told us that if we are learning an Asian language, we should learn it well because when China opens up, we will be needed to serve as mission presidents.
Well, my mission is about 1% complete. Boy, I sure have a lot to do over the next few years.
Today was an absolutely marvelous day. The spirit has been so strong, I just love it. Today, during Book of Mormon sharing time, Elder Davis told about how he had a friend who had tried to kill himself and Elder Davis kicked in the door and got into the bathroom. His friend had cut his wrists & was letting the water run over them. His friend was unconscious. He was able to give his friend a blessing & called an ambulance. I’m so thankful for the priesthood I hold. Christ loved us so much that he gave us that power! What better gift could he offer?
I got the best cinnamon rolls that I have ever had in my life from Kristin today! They were so good! All of the Elders sure think she must love me an awful lot. She really does. She even put in a bag of icing for me, but the very best things that she gave me was a letter. I’m so glad she takes the time to write to me. I wish I could just hold her hand, but that’s OK because I’ll be able to someday. In her letter, she copied one of her journal letters. In it she mentioned how I played “Walk Forever by My Side” for her. I wish I had the words to that song....
Walk forever by my side,
Never lose sight of the day,
when we will run, Through all our weakness,
On through the fields,
Strewn with our broken dreams,
Stay Forever in the Light,
I also found out today that some of the Hmong people are from the tribe of Benjamin.
June 7,1990
Well, one more day has come to a close. I think I understand now why Adam & Eve had to be cast out of the garden of Eden. The Spirit has been so strong here, that I can hardly recall any times of sorrow, It is almost as though I have become weary of feeling good. I love it! Every night as I lay down, I am absolutely exhausted from feeling good.
I heard a story today that really touched me. In the early days of the Church, Herber C. Kimball & his wife lived in Nauvoo. They were so in love. They were even called lovebirds. Always together, always holding hands, he was always kissing her on the cheek. Anyway, one day Joseph Smith Jr. told him that the Lord wanted Sister Kimball to be married to Joseph. Heber was distraught. When he went home, his wife could tell that something was wrong, but he refused to tell her. She went into her room & prayed. when she came back, she said, “The Lord has told me that whatever it is that Joseph has asked you to do, you should do it.” Heber took her hand and walked her to Joseph’s house- hand in hand. When the Prophet came to the door, Heber put her hand in Joseph’s and said, “Take good care of her.” Joseph embraced Heber and said, “My dear brother, you were being tested, and you have passed!” Joseph had been told by the Lord to trust no one until he had passed the most trying test he could think of. Heber certainly set a great example of exact obedience. I also thought that it was very interesting that his wife was more in tune than Heber was. It reminds me of how Kristin is with me.
Kristen sent me some fantastic letters today, I only wish there was some way for me to explain to her how much I love her.
Quote of the day- “ Regardless of your past, Your future is spotless.”
June 8, 1990
Today was my first real P-day. What a busy day. I thought P-day was just to relax- Wow! Was I wrong! We went to the 5:30 am session today. After the endowment session, Elder Davis and I want to a sealing session. During one of the times when we sealed a child to his parents, I was the proxy for the child, and I felt someone brush my shoulder an place their hand on mine. I looked to see if there was anyone there, there wasn’t. As the ordinance ended, I felt the hand let go and felt his spirit move away from me. It was totally awesome! Also during a few of the sealings, I could fell a small part of the joy that those spirits felt as I felt them be joined for time and all eternity. As the sealing session ended, Elder Davis grabbed me by the shoulder and said, “ She’ll (Kristin) be here.” I said “I know.” I thought it was so neat that he know that Kristin and I are gonna make it. I really love her!
Ironing shirts was a real trial. I guess I never really realized how much work it was for Kristin to iron all of my shirts, She must really like me an awful lot. I wish she could know how much I appreciate her- someday...
June 9, 1990
Wow! I can’t believe how fast time is going. I have been here for a week and a half and time is just flying by. I got to call home & talk to Todd today, but he seemed kind of preoccupied and didn’t have a whole lot to say. I guess I shouldn’t have expected his mission to change our relationship, but I did. I sure hope my kids are closer.
Talking to Brett was great! He asked me to speak some Hmong for him so I said, “Kuv hlub koj!” (I love you) I really miss that little guy!
By far, the hardest thing about today was knowing that Kristin was working here all day long. I wish so much that I could just stop by and see her smile. I long to see her and be with her.
The letters that she sends me helps me so much. She helps me remember why I’m here & what I’m doing after. I just want to hold her for a minute.
I want to record my testimony of the prophet Joseph Smith. It is a fairly simple one- but sure. Joseph Smith saw God & Jesus Christ. Through him the gospel was restored, the Book of Mormon was brought forth, the temple ordinances were restored. The fulness of the gospel was brought forth. I am so grateful for all of the sacrifices that he and Emma made for the gospel so that I could enjoy its blessings. I love Joseph and Emma for all that they did. I also love the Savior for all of the blessing and he brought to my life.
June 11, 1990
Well, one more day has past. Today was awesome! The biggest problem I have here is that I am constantly on such a spiritual high that when I go back to normal, I get really depressed. I have to learn to control that better.
Today, Kristin brought Elder Davis and I some really neat things. They look like missionaries that are made out of cookie dough. Mine has a double-breasted coat on and really looks cool. She really spent a lot of time on them. I really miss her companionship.
In class we talked about the responsibilities of leaders in decision making. The councilors are to give their opinions, but after a decision is made, then all three back it up as if it was their own.
It was really neat to be able to tell them about some of the decisions that Kristin and I had made just that way. We talk about things, and the final decision usually rest with me. However, after the decision is made whether we both agree or not, it becomes our decision. If it doesn’t work out, I don’t remember Kristin ever saying, “I told you so.” We simply back up, make a new plan and get after it. I lover her and really miss her, but I know I’m doing what the Lord wants me to do. I hope she’s doing well with all of her finals and things.
My favorite hymn today became “A Poor wayfaring Man of Grief” Just to think of John Taylor singing that to Joseph Smith before his death in his baritone voice gives me chills. What a wonderful work!
June 12, 1990
Today was the best day yet. I got a wonderful tape from Kristin. The past few days have been really confusing, but to hear her voice helped- then came the personal revelation that I had been searching for. FAMILY! That’s what this whole thing is about. I had been so caught up in me and how I was doing that I lost perspective. The whole point in life is to be with family forever.
I had been wondering if I should think a lot about Kristin or not- listening to her made me realize that the reason I’m here is to become a better Father & King in the Kingdom! Wow!! Now I know why!
Elder Gene R Cook spoke at the devotional today. He taught us the six steps for gaining righteous desires through prayer.
- FAITH- believe, doubt not, fear not.
- Repentance, sacrifice, commitment- pay the price.
- PRAY as if all relied on the Lord
- WORK as if all relied on you.
- PREPARE for intense trials of your faith.
- EXPECT in full faith for the arm of the Lord to be revealed on your behalf.
When the situation starts to get worse, instead of better, the answer to your prayer is just around the corner. Hang tough!!
I’m going to pray fervently that Shawn, Mr. Jacobson and Rob Wennstedt will all join the church.
What an incredible day!
June 13, 1990
Well, my mission is now 2% completed. I know a whole lot more now than I did last week, but I have so much more to learn, even more than I thought I did last week.
Today has been pretty good, but Elder Piffer always seems to get me upset. I know that I shouldn’t let it bother me, but 3 hours of the gospel according to Piffer is almost more than I can handle. I mean, yesterday he was supposed to interview me for 5 minutes and ended up spending 45 minutes telling me about a fight that he and his fiance had had. Oh well. Today he tried to tell us that we couldn’t have free agency if we were foreordained. I just wish he would stick to things he understands.
June 14, 1990
Wow! What a day. I have been pretty tired. Thursdays seem to drag around here. It seems like they take forever.
This morning we had a large group meeting. It was soooo awesome. It was on how to feel and recognize the Spirit. The Spirit was so strong that it was unbelievable. I learned so much.Here are some things I heard...
“As he died to make men holy, let us live to make men free.”- Battle Hymn of the Republic
Fast Sunday- Starve and tell your story day.
Be real- you don’t have to act a certain way to have the spirit- avoid the Afterglow syndrome.
Don’t ever take the defensive- “For I will contend with him who contendeth with thee.”
I went to check the mail today and ran into Kristin as she was bringing me some Gatorade- it was great to see her, but it was so awkward. I wanted to hug her so bad. It probably would be better if I avoided that in the future. I miss her so bad!
I got a letter from Mom, Dad. Grandpa, and Todd today. It really made me wish I was home. I know I’m doing what’s right, but being away from family & Kristin is sure tough. They also sent me a tape of Todd’s homecoming. Man, I wish I could’ve been there. Mom said that Brett has worn the name tag I gave him everywhere. I sure miss him. Golly- it’s sure hard to be away from the one’s you love so much. Oh, well- here to serve and happy to serve. I can’t wait to get out into the mission field.
June 15, 1990
Today was awesome. It was my second real P-day. Going to the temple was really nice. I got to make tapes for both my family and for Kristin. One bad thing happened- someone stole my sweats out of my wash. Boy is ironing a pain! I am constantly burning my hand, but my shirts look awesome.
Today we got to teach practice discussions to role play investigators. It went pretty well, but it sure would have been easier if they were real investigators, but it was really neat. It’s interesting to learn how to go about getting the Spirit to testify to people.
This evening, I really felt like my Heavenly Father is proud of me. It has sure been a while since I felt that way. I’m sure glad that he let me feel like that. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but he still loves me. I’m so glad for that love.
Kristin brought me some homemade banana nut muffins and blueberry muffins. Boy can she cook!
June16, 1990
Wow! So this is what a missionary is supposed to feel like. I have felt so good all day long. I love it here. I got all kinds of stuff from Kristin today. I even had a chance at a Corvette ZR1 from the Almond Joy she gave me. Unfortunately, I lost. Oh well, the cookies she gave me were also really good. Jane brought me some apples and cookies today too. All of the guys are absolutely amazed. I just can’t believe how much people take care of me. It is just incredible to me. Heavenly Father must sure love me a lot.
Today, I said my very first prayer in all Hmong without any notes. It went pretty well.
Every night, the Lao Elders- Clarke and Sorenson, come into the class room after Book of Mormon reading and we sing “A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief.” (all Seven verses) then we pray. It doesn’t matter how may times I sing that song, the Spirit always touches my heart.
The time here is really flying by. I can’t wait until I can get out into the mission field and start getting to work. WOW! What a marvelous work.
The Church is true! God lives! Christ atoned for MY sins! The Book of Mormon is true! President Benson is a prophet! Joseph Smith Jr. was a man of God! WOW!
June 17, 1990
Where do I start? Today was so fun and so incredible! This morning, in Priesthood meeting the Branch President told us that Elder McElhaney’s Dad was being baptized today. How incredible! He has been praying and his Dad got baptized on Father’s Day- How cool!
Gospel study was completely hilarious today. It all stated when Elder Ashton said out teacher looked like Mrs. McGoo. Then she had her husband stand up and Elder DeMars said he looked like Orville Redenbacher. Our reacher uses the most ridiculously over exaggerated intonations of her voice that it is hilarious. It didn’t matter what we tried we could not keep a straight face. I laughed so hard I thought I would die. How irreverent!
I forgot to write yesterday that we spent the afternoon making and delivering fruit baskets for all of the mission presidents that arrived today. I left a note in President Bott’s room to tell him I was excited to meet him.
In Branch meeting, President Jensen said that in 10 years, there will be 85,000 missionaries in the field. I can’t wait! The work is moving forward and I’m part of it.
At the fireside tonight, the spirit was so strong! At the beginning, 6 people on “sign language speaking” missions did “I stand All Amazed.” It made me homesick ‘cuz it reminded me of Kristin.
When President Pinegar spoke it was awesome! He is such a great man. He taught us all kinds of things that I have recorded in my notebook so I won’t write the here. I can’t wait to get to the field and start the harvest, but I guess I have to have a sickle first.
I am really excited about this next week. There will be tons of General Authorities here. I can’t wait.
********Kristin brought me a ballon today. She also brought me a few articles that she used to prepare her Father’s Day talk. I sure hope that I can be the kind of Father that I need to be. I think the important thing is to spend quality time with my kids and teach by example and lesson. Also, I heard someone say once that if you are a good husband first and foremost you will be a good father also. First a husband, then a father. ******
June 18, 1990
Today was really fun! During our afternoon class, we got cookies from the front desk for delivering the fruit baskets to all of the mission presidents. It was really fun. I also got a package from Kristin today! Wow! I love her. She bought me 3 pairs of swears, gold, blue, and gray. She said for me to pick a color and send the other two back. I love her so much. I wish she could be here. Now I have some thing warm to wear to bed.
I’m to the fourth chapter of Jesus The Christ by James E. Talmage. It is very interesting, but thus far lacks any deep spiritual insight. It seems like so far it has been a fairly intellectual approach. I am learning a lot, but hopefully it will begin to lend some spiritual inspiration also.
My Book of Mormon reading is coming along fairly well. The Book of Mormon is so true!
Today, I got a card from my mission President thanking me for leaving the note in his room. I think I will send all of my stuff like that to Kristin so that when I get home I can put together a scrapbook.
Things are really busy here at the MTC. Tomorrow President Gordon B. Hinckley and Marvin J Ashton will both speak to us in separate meetings. I can’t wait. I’m so excited to see and meet them.
I’m really working hard. I owe that to my Savior. The only way that I can even start to make up for my sins is to give Him my all, so He’s going to get it! The Church is True!
June 19, 1990
What an incredible day! It all started off this morning with a devotional from President Hinckley, that’s right, the 1st Counselor of the 1st Presidency of the Church. He basically told us 2 things.
- Be humble
- Work my butt off.
It was so neat to realize that after all of the stupid things I have done, I can still be a part of Jesus Christ’s mighty army.
Then, tonight, we had a devotional from Elder Marvin J. Ashton. IT was so cool. What he told us was that we have to learn to control out emotions. He told us a really neat story about another apostle. He and this apostle were in the subways in London, and they saw 3 boys (about 11) sitting in the corner smoking. the apostle walked over to them and said, “Don’t smoke, don’t smoke, don’t smoke!” One of the boys stood up, pointed at the apostle and said, “Go to hell, go to hell, go to hell!” Then the apostle turned to Elder Ashton and said, “ Let that teach you a lesson. Don’t ever talk to boys that way.” what a cool lesson. Don’t ever treat people like they’re stupid.
Then I got to go meet my new mission president. He is sooooo cool. He really made me feel loved. IT was so neat to see him sitting next to his wife and hold her hand the whole entire time. He said that the main reason that we are going on missions is to assure out own salvation. His wife told us that she knew that our children were watching me through the veil. It was really neat. He also made me realize that I can make it, and that repentance is real. I have somethings to take care of, and I will. I can’t wait. One thing he told us is that he had a special talent of being able to tell someone to go to hell and still have them like him.
I love the Lord with all of my heart! Also, before the fireside, I felt like I should stand up, and I did. Then I turned around and saw L. Tom Perry coming right down the aisle. I reached out and shook his hand and he said, “It sure is good to see you.” It was so cool, no one else got to shake his hand. I loved it. His Spirit was just so strong.
President Hinckley said that one day Jesus would put his arms around me and tell me “Well done- Thank you.” He will thank me for going on a mission and for taking care of my beautiful wife and children. I can’t wait for that day.
Today, I also got a letter from President Pinegar- that’s right- the president of the MTC. He told me how proud he was of the performance of my district and the job that I am doing as district leader. No one else that I know even got a letter. It’s near to know that what I am doing and working on is being noticed.
Kristin sent me a package with candy in it. It is so neat to know that she supports me 200%
June 20, 1990
Wow! What an awesome day. I got to hear another Prophet today, President Thomas S. Monson, 2nd counselor in the first presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It was so neat. He told us all of the things that we need to do better to be the best we can be. He also gave us an apostalic blessing. He blessed em that I will be the very best missionary that I can possibly be. He also blessed me to be able to successfully fulfill all of the callings that I would have after my mission (ie. father, husband, church calls, etc.)
My comp is still really struggling with the Hmong language. he just doesn’t seem to be able to memorize the vocabulary. The words just don’t seem to flow for him. I’m not too sure how to help him. He seems to get frustrated and then it just gets worse. He says that when he was a kid, he used to stutter a lot, I know that he can get it, but sometimes I wish I could help more.
Kristin gave me an awesome tape. I wish that I could answer all of her questions everyday. I have a sheet of paper that is completely full of things to tell her. She is the greatest!
Well my mission is 3% over and my stay at the MTC is 33% over. I can’t wait to get out into the field. I feel like there just isn’t anything that I can do here. It just seems like I could learn so much more if I was out in the field. I mean, they have told us what to do about 50 times, but they don’t let us do it. I can’t wait to get into the field!
June 21, 1990
Wow, today seemed to drag on forever. We did not have branch meeting because of the Mission President’s conference.
While we were cleaning the drinking fountains, Elder Backman walked up and started talking to us. HE said that the Hmong people were sure neat people. It is so neat to just bump into people that are so close to God. I just love it here!
Kristin brought up some brownies and a camera for me. She said that since I forgot my camera, I will have to take pictures with it and five them to her. I got a long letter from my mom. Todd apparently bought Heather a ring, so a wedding must be coming.
Wow! what a P-day. I have been going like crazy since about 4:30 this morning. We got up and did our laundry, then we went to the temple. Elder Erikson (our Hmong teacher) went to the temple. It was really cool. He is just the neatest guy. Anyway, after we went to the temple, we went to our room and I wrote a whole bunch of letters. Then we went and ate lunch. After lunch I made Kristin a tape- man I miss her a whole bunch! Kristin brought me a Raspberry Clearly Canadian. What memories!
Then I remembered a whole bunch of things I forgot to tell her so I had to write on 2 more pieces of paper.
I also wrote to my mom today. I really miss her.
It sure is nice to have a day every now and then to just kick back and take care of the things I wanted to do.
June 23, 1990
Wow! (I start all of my entries that way) Today was a real up & down day. This morning, I realized how long I actually have left in the MTC. How discouraging. But then, I saw Kristin @ the general service desk. My heart just did flip flops. She made me realize (again) what this all about. FAMILY. She gave me a peach pie. Oh my gosh! Everyone fought over what was left when I was done. Elder Davis, who doesn’t like peach pie, had 2 pieces. It was so good.
Elder Erekson was talking today about all of the bad feeling that missionaries develop about this point in their stay at the MTC. He said something that really made me think. He was talking about how to deal with people that disagree with you. HE said, “would you rather be happy or right?” It made me realize that it is sometimes better to let someone be wrong than to argue with them. I don’t know, maybe it is just the way he said it, but it really hit home.
All of the Elders went to see Kristin today. It made me so happy to hear them all say how wonderful she is. Even Elder Hawkes, one of my teachers, said how wonderful she is. I’m so thankful for her. She is just great. No wonder I felt so much better after I saw her! She tried to gibe me the money back that I gave her for the camera she gave me, but I immediately gave it back. She thinks she’ll win, but she won’t.
June 24, 1990
My butt is tired! I feel like I have just gone from one meeting to another. That’s not to say that they didn’t do me any good, but they sure seemed long.
One interesting thing that happened was that during Gospel Study the man who was speaking said he had done some work at B.Y.U. Then he asked us if we have ever registered by phone. Then he said, “Welcome to Brigham Young University’s telephone registration system.” I couldn’t believe it! It was the guy that did the computer voice for the phone registration.
Then during my evening Gospel Study class, my teacher said that she was a cashier at B.Y.U. Then I remembered arguing with her about whether or not she would take cash for my lab fee, I always wondered why I didn’t seem to be able to make a connection with where I had seen her. Now I understand why I always felt like I didn’t like her. I really need to work on loving people more.
Today, I checked the mail about 500 times today. Finally, I checked one time just in time to see Kristin running toward’s Cuth’s car. I wish so bad that I could just talk to her alone for a while. After this week, I will be 1/24 done with my mission. Part of me can’t wait to be done, and back home, but most of me realizes how much I have to do. On my last tape I sent to her, I said some things, but I didn’t explain them very well, Gosh! I didn’t mean to upset her. I’ll always try to explain things completely to her.
During branch meeting today, I saw myself as a mighty Nephite warrior. It wasn’t what I would call a vision, yet it was so clear and so inspirational. I was standing at the head of my army, wielding a sword of truth, cutting down all of the Lamanites who came towards me. It made me realize how much the Lord will help me. I long to be a mighty warrior in the army of the lord.
Elder Davis- “My Garments are trying to do the Twist and Shout on me.”
June 25, 1990
Today, while we were on a walk during our afternoon class, I saw Kristin walking through the MTC Parking lot. IT was so hard to keep from running over to talk to her. Then I accidentally saw her in the mailroom. Oh well, I must not have seen her before. It was so good to see her. Her smile is just incredible!
During our scripture study tonight, this guy sticks his head in the door and starts to speak Hmong about 60 mph. I couldn’t believe it. Turns out, he just got back from the Fresno mission. It was great to talk to him. Apparently, he is going to be our teaher some time soon. I can’t wait!
Today, we also started working on the first discussion in Hmong. Oh my gosh! It’s actually not too bad, but the problem is that we have to translate them as we go. since the discussions translations are not approved or even completed we must work with our teacher to translate our own. I have so much work to do that it is unbelievable. My comp is still struggling a lot, but today I decided that I will start getting up early to study on my own. That way, I can still progress at my own speed, without making him feel bad.
We had Elder Erekson for a teacher today at all 3 shifts. It was so awesome! He has the neatest spirit about him!
What a time to be involved in the Lord’s work.
June 26, 1990
This was the best day yet! My mission is 1/26th over and it just keeps getting better! This morning I got up at 4:30 am. It was great. I got so much done I can’t believe it. I’ll definitely do that again tomorrow. I am now able to teach the first principle of the first discussion entirely in Hmong.
Today, Elder Neal A. Maxwell came to speak to us at the devotional tonight. He is such a good speaker. He talked to us about becoming true disciples of Christ. He told us that it is not enough to be baptized and perform the necessary ordinances, but we must actually become like Christ in every way possible. I have a long way to go. It’s easy to be Christ-like while I’m a missionary, but the key to the whole thing is to develop Christ-like attributes while I’m on my mission that will endure to the end. I must actually incorporate: humility, kindness, patience, honesty, diligence, love and charity into my very being.
He said that Christ sees what we can be, and then he gives us the opportunities to become what we can be.
while I was reading in Alma (45-55) today, I was strongly impressed with the representation of Satan’s army by the Lamanite armies. As long as the Nephites are obedient to God, the Lamanites can have no hold upon them. When we are obedient to God, Satan can have no hold on us! We must fortify our defenses as the Nephites fortified their cities. We must not become proud of our own abilities to resist temptation, lest the armies of Satan destroy us as the armies of the Lamanites destroyed the prideful Nephites. It is amazing to me that the wars in the Book of Mormon actually have so much symbollic meaning. It really is true that “ the scripture will be opened unto you!” What valuable lessons the scriptures hold for us!
Kristin brought me a long letter and some peanut butter cookies today. I had been craving peanut butter cookies for 3 days. It is amazing to me that she always knows just what I need. She said in her letter that people keep telling her she shouldn’t write to me everyday and all of that kind of stuff. I wish that they would just leave her alone. they just don’t understand!
The church is so true. Joseph Smith is truly reigning in the Spirit World. He fulfilled one of the most important missions on this earth. The Book of Mormon is the true word of God. The temple ordinances are correct, as well as essential to the salvation of man. Jesus died and atoned for my sins. In the name of Jesus Christ I write these things. Amen.
June 27, 1990
Today I memorized the first principle of the first discussion. When my alarm went off this morning, I decided that I would wait until 6:00 to get up. It doesn’t do me any good to be that far ahead of my comp. He is still struggling, but coming along.
I heard something today that I really like. “The difference between us and the Savior is that he does not replay his temptations in his mind.” Neal A Maxwell. It all comes down to mind control!
I got a huge box of cookies today from Grandma Hansen. In the letter that came with them, Grandpa said that Brett has a loose tooth- Man! I would give just about anything to be able to be there. I really miss that little guy.
Kristin brought me a big Mickey Mouse lollipop today & a great letter. How does she always know how to make me smile?
I’m not too sure what else to write. Things are going well and I’m just trying to hand in there. 9 weeks sure seems like a long time to be in the MTC. I’m learning more than I every dreamed, but there are only so many places that you can go while you are walking around the MTC. It gets kind of monotonous. Oh well, hump day is Sunday and I’m just going to keep my spirits up and my head in the race. The letters I get sure do help me a lot. There is nothing quite like knowing your loved ones support you.
June 27, 1990
Zoo heev! Tomorrow is P-day! I learned so much today that I couldn’t believe it; it wasn’t so much that I learned anything new, it was mostly just reviewing and reaffirming what we learned yesterday. I got to teach the first principle of the first discussion today. It went really well.
I receive a letter from Dad today. He was on an airplane on the way to Idaho when he wrote the letter. He was telling me about M.A.D. and stuff. It made me realize how much I had enjoyed working with him. I also noticed that there is not stress here. When I was at school, I always had about 30 things going on and was always having to prove myself by taking rests or some other way. When I worked with Dad, I was constantly having to think and push myself and be one step ahead of everyone else. Here, that is one thing I miss. There is no stress and things seem to move really slow. I hope that when I get out into the field, I can push myself hard. I enjoy being in a place that much is expected of me. Here, the schedule seems to almost encourage mediocrity. I can’t wait to get into the field and push myself. I guess it just takes the same thing in life. PUSH! I’m hanging in there though. Dad also said that he sold the Firebird. Luckily, he took my stereo out before hand. Man, what a way to break y heart! Oh, well!
Nicky, Kristin’s little sister, told me in a letter that she had worn my BYU hat that I gave her when she played in a primary softball game. It is amazing that children know so quickly who loves them.
Kristin brought me a coconut cream pie. It was sooooo good that the guys are starting to wonder who in the world is cooking them. I keep telling them that she is just a plain awesome cook. She is the coolest! I sure love her.
June 29, 1990
P-days are the greatest! We didn’t get to go to the temple today because it’s closed for cleaning. I wrote 17 letters to all kinds of people.
Today, when I went to check the mail, I got a great surprise. I ran into Kristin. We actually got to talk for a long time. She is so incredible. She seemed happy- that made me happy. I asked her if she thought it was worth it & she said yes. U told her to hang tough for just 23 more months. I can’t wait, but there is also important work to be done.
I love this work. It si so great to be a part of it. The church is true. Kuv paub tias Vaj Tswv muaj sia nyob ( I know that Kind Lord (God) have life exist.)
I’m so grateful that Jesus Christ atoned for my sins. that is the most wonderful thing that anyone could have ever done for me. I love him for it.
O funny thing that happened today while I was talking to Kristin was that I didn’t know how to act. I found myself even acting like Elder Ashton. It just seems like since I’m a missionary, I’m scared to be myself around her. I hope she didn’t think I was weird or that I actually act like that all the time. I can’t wait to get home and be just me & Kristin again.
June 30, 1990
Today was awesome! I took my letter and tape to Kristin at the General services desk. She opened up the shutter, & I saw her standing there smiling 2 me. She is so incredible- she’s beautiful, she smart and she loves me! My comp says that we are just alike. I’m glad I’m on a mission but I’m also glad she’ll be there when I get back. She is the coolest!
During class this morning, Elder Erekson was having us work on the 1st discussion and he decided to scrap the whole thing. We are going to just start from scratch and translate the discussions from English. We had been working from a rough translation, but it was so poor that Monday we’re starting over completely.
Tonight, Elder Bohn was our teacher. He is a guy that just got back from Fresno Hmong speaking mission. He talks really fast, but I understand pretty well. I certainly have a lot of studying to do. A Hmong girl named Yaj Tim is supposed to be coming soon to teach us. That should definitely keep us busy.
since we spent the whole day working on the language, I didn’t gain any real spiritual insights. I did read some of Jesus the christ. Every member of the Church should read that book. It offers very precious insights into the life and trials and sacrifices of Jesus Christ. It doesn’t really say anything new or present any new doctrine, so I can’t exactly explain what I’ve learned. I guess I have simply increased my testimony and my faith in Christ.
I am so excited to be on a mission today. NOW is the time that the work is going forth. NOW is my time to prepare to be a father in Zion. NOW is the time for my future wife to prepare to be a mother in Zion. NOW is the time to prepare to meet my God. NOW is the time that I can learn about God’s kingdom. NOW is the time to learn God’s way. NOW!!
I CAN’T WAIT TO GET INTO THE FIELD!
Elder Bohn told us today how to properly eat chicken heads- I will do it if it will help the people trust me and thus be baptized, but otherwise it’s completely disgusting! The church is true anyway!
July 1, 1990
Today was mission conference. President and Sister Pinegar were released. It was so cool. The MTC choir sang a song called “in this very Room.” The Spirit was so strong it was absolutely incredible. I just love that song. Right now, I’m laying in the grass outside of our room. Today was going to be my day to complain in my Journal, but that meeting was so good that I can’t even remember what I was going to complain about. The choir also sang “The Battle Hymn of the Republic.” It was the most incredible thing. I had tears just running down my face.
I was released as D.L. and made the Speak Your Language leader for the District. IT came as no real surprise since there are only 2 people in the whole district.
***One idea that occured to me today that was kind of neat. In football, really good runners (like Nebreaska’s) after they get hit and they start to fall, they always dive forward. It’s what’s called a second effort. That’s what it takes to be really food at anything, Right when you think your down, stretch! You have to give that second effort in everything you do. SECOND EFFORT IS THE KEY!***
I really spent a lot of time reading the Book of Mormon. I read 110 pages. It was great! That Book is so true!
Today I got a really long letter from Kristin. The one thing I’m not sure about is the she gave me a package of Nerds- (candy) What is she trying to tell me? Just Kidding. I’m sure that she loves me. She is just the greatest.
July 2, 1990
Today we got an awesome surprise! Yaj Yig Vaj came from California today. She is a native Hmong lady who is about 28. No one knows for sure how old she really is. She will be our afternoon teacher from now on- that means no more Elder Piffer- Yeah!
Yaj Yig talks really fast. We also got some newly translated discussions today. I hope to be able to get up early tomorrow and start memorizing.
Today at dinnertime, I got a letter from Kristin. In the letter she said that there were some white chocolate chip cookies she made for me, but there were no cookies. I got the cookies later, but it sure frustrated me. The mailroom must have just not given them to me. They were so good. They totally reminded me of all of the times that Kristin and I went shopping in Salt Lake, Provo, Mesa and Omaha. Sometimes we would stop and buy white chocolate chip cookies. It was awesome!
I’m not really too sure what to do about my comp and his language skills. He just doesn’t seem to get it. I pray for him all of the time. When Yaj yig talks to us, he doesn’t understand and just gets frustrated. The more it happens, the worse it gets. If I don’t study, either does he, so he’ll never catch up. I can’t decide whether to forget him and study with out him, or keep trying to go at his pace. He puts in no extra time studying- after every meal he takes a nap- he won’t get up early to study- he gets mad if I SYL (speak your language) and make him think. It also makes me realize how important it is to be honest when filling out your mission papers. He never did extra well in school, but he put on his papers that he felt he could learn a new language very easily. I don’t know how to help him without him feeling like I’m lecturing him. I just wish he would work harder so that the Lord could help him more. The Lord can’t help us if we don’t work ourselves. ( He also stutters- not too bad, but it is still noticable)
I have been quite homesick today. When Davis gets frustrated, he just quits talking. I just wish I could here a familiar voice. Sometimes I feel so alone. I mean- I know that a mission is something that you have to do alone, but no one even seems to want to be friends. I think that the fact that I learn quickly bothers my companion, but instead of working at it harder, he won’t SYL and he won’t study. He doesn’t even seem to want to talk to me. I don’t know, I guess it make me feel pretty lonely. I just wish he would talk more, or quit being so grumpy.
In the mornings, he does nothing but complain. That wears pretty thin after a while. It also makes it hard to keep a good attitude. the reason that I’m complaining so much here is that I can’t exactly complain to anyone about it. Well that’s enough complaining for now. The Church is true regardless of any of this.
Jeremy Doyle, my first counselor from school, will get here Thursday. I can’t wait to see him! He will understand what I feel like.
I don’t fell completely bad, I just kind of have an ache inside. I feel so far away from everyone. The letters I get really help. I can’t wait to see everyone at the airport.
I got a letter from Mom today. She said that Eric’s nose surgery was today. That poor kid. I’ve been praying for him. I hope it all went well.
July 3, 1990
Today, i checked in my mailbox and found 2 slips for packages. I went to the desk and got 2 boxes. One of them was huge. I couldn’t figure out what they were. When I got back to the room, I opened them up. One of them had cupcakes from Jane, the other one had a white styrofoam cooler. When I opened it, I found it was full of Coke and Ice. Jane is the coolest. the guys around here couldn’t believe it.
Kristin brought me a tape today. She also brought some papers that we had written to each other in January. That was one of the most special nights in my life and they brought back awesome memories. I can’t wait to listen to the tape.
“To need me doesn’t mean you’re failing. It just means that things are easier with two.”
Richard G. Scott, apostle of Jesus Christ, spoke at the devotional. He also gave us an apostallic blessing. I recorded that in my notes so I’ll not write it here. Well, it’s nearly 10:30 so I have to get to bed. THE CHURCH IS TRUE!
I just remembered- we play softball every morning out on the field by the temple. I actually got it today. It has been so long since I played baseball. Today I remembered how to hit & Field. I hit a home run, 2 triples and 1 double. It wan so fun. It reminded me of all the times I played while growing up. It also reminded me of the time Kristin and I went to the Galleria and I couldn’t hit hardly anything. I miss her.
July 4, 1990
Well, here it is the 4th of July on my mission. Last 4th of July I was in St Croix on the beach watching the fireworks. It sure is weird that I feel every bit as empty now as I did on that day. It just seems like the 4th of July should be spent with people that you love. Tonight they said that we could go watch the fireworks if we were in by 10:20 We went outside and messed around for a while, but the fireworks didn’t start by then. Somehow I was almost glad. I really miss Kristin and watching fireworks alone doesn’t seem like the remedy I need.
I listed to her tape last night- it was so good to hear her voice- she is incredible!
Today, Elder Bohn told us about how he got Dear Johned on Christmas. IT wasn’t exactly what I needed to hear on a day that I missed Kristin so much. It has really been a tough week.
Today I was interviewed by Elder Erekson. We came up with some ways that we can help Elder Davis. He also gave me some things to work on on the mornings that I can’t sleep. One thing he told me was that when I pray, to talk to Heavenly Father about the things I don’t like. That way, Heavenly Father can help me deal with my feelings. the reason he told me that was that i told him that I felt like I didn’t have an outlet for all of my frustrations. He is the greatest guy on earth! He helps me so much! I am going to get my act together and keep my attitude up. THE CHURCH IS TRUE! I LOVE MY MISSION! I’LL LOVE LIFE WHEN IT’S OVER TOO!
July 5, 1990
Jeremy Doyle got here today! (That’s Hairemy who came to the funeral with Shane) It was so food to see him. He is one of the few people that really understand my feelings. It’s good to have him around. Since he hadn’t been set apart yet, my comp and I went to see him get set apart. I really thought the 1st counselor in the mission presidency would be angry because we weren’t even supposed to be in the Administrations building. Anyway, instead of being angry, he asked us to help set Jer apart. It was so cool. The only reason I went was because only Jer and his mom were here and I felt that they both needed support- anyway- it was so neat to get to lay my hands on his head to set him apart. The priesthood power is so incredible, I have seen the priesthood of God heal people. I have been healed by the priesthood. I am so grateful that the Lord has entrusted me with this sacred responsibility and authority. I can’t wait to be able to give my future wife and children blessings. It will be so incredible. It seems like whenever I get down here, if I just hand tough long enough, the Lord provides a way whereby he lifts my Spirit. I know the Church is true!
Yah Yig Vaj had been teaching out afternoon class, I actually understand an awful lot of what she says. I can’t wait to get to Fresno and teach. The Hmong people are so easy to love. It’s great! She ha such a wonderful spirit about her. I can’t wait to get to Fresno.
This morning we played softball again. I decided to play 3rd base because when a play went to home plate, it was the third baseman that was supposed to cover the play since we didn’t have a catcher. None of the Elders had ever played catcher, so none of them knew how to play the plate. Anyway, I was playing 3rd and the play went home. I covered the plate and Elder McFadden was coming home. He only weighs 50 lbs more than me! I blocked the plate just the way I used to, caught the ball and turned to make the tag. Before I could turn, I got smashed! But I held onto the ball and he was out. I haven’t decided yet if the out was worth it or not. It was worth it.
Kristin sent me a brownies today that was heart shaped and huge! I ate the whole thing after dinner and I still feel sick. She is just the greatest! THE CHURCH IT TRUE!
July 6, 1990
As of today, my mission is officially 5% over. I can’t wait to get into the mission field!
P-days are awesome! Today I got up, washed my clothes, wrote letters, made a tape for Kristin, wrote letters, played softball,ironed, and slept for 2 hours. I didn’t realize how badly I needed a break. It was great. Kristin wrote me a really long letter- she is the greatest! It was really neat because she answered most of my questions that I asked in the tape without ever hearing them. The spirit really seems to help our relationship a lot. She always knows just what to tell me. I can’t believe that it’s Friday night and I’m going to bed at 10:30! The Church must be true or I wouldn’t do it. I love it here!
It looks like m chances of being on a bike in Fresno are pretty good- about 50/50. I sure hope that I get to ride a bike so that I can stay in shape. Missionary life is not exactly condusive to good conditioning. Oh well, I haven’t gained any weight yet so maybe that’s O.K.
Kristin sent me a puzzle about the area of a shape. It’s in her letter so I won’t write it here but I haven’t figured it out yet. It’s driving me absolutely crazy!
July 7, 1990
Today has been absolutely exhausting! Class this morning was one of the highlights of my stay. I am so thankful for Elder Erekson. He has taught me so many things.
The most important thing that I need to work on is ACTING ON THE Spirit. I have been working on it, but I’ve still got a long way to go.
I got to talk to Kristin quite a bit today. She is the coolest. She is so special to me. She always makes me realize how important what I’m doing is.
I’m sure glad that tomorrow is Sunday. I really need the rest. My comp is doing better with the language. That’s a real relief. I hope I can get a lot of studying done tomorrow. they expect us to learn so much, yet we have very little time to study. Oh well, I guess some kids would waste the time instead of studying.
Elder Davis asked me today why I was attracted to Kristin. It was so neat to be able to tell him about the first time I saw her, our first date, our goals, how she always takes care of me, and how much she means to me. It was really neat to share my feelings about her with someone. I’m sure he doesn’t understand completely, but I don’t care. She is the neatest thing that’s ever happened to me. The Church is so true!
July 8, 1990
I’ve been in the MTC for exactly 40 days. That’s how long Christ fasted. After eating here I...Just kidding. That is amazing to me. It seems like I’ve been here forever, yet he went this long without eating or drinking. That is incredible to me. It sure makes my concept of time seem backwards. I’ve got an awful lot to learn.
President Klein spoke at the devotional tonight. He is really a great guy. He told us that the reason drinking coffee is wrong has nothing to do with caffeine. It is simply the fact that we have nee commanded not to do it. He also told us that to be happy is simple- KEEP THE COMMANDMENTS.
He also told us that when we pray, we should really commune with God- it’s not simply a questions and answer session. Kristin always prays from her heart- I hope that I can learn to pray better. In my family, family prayers have alway been a question and answer session. I really hope that I can learn to really pray in time to teach my family.
Today has been a very good day. I finally realized that in order to truely be forgiven, I must forsake my sins. that sounds stupid because we are told that all of the time, but I guess I really gained a testimony of that today. Sometimes I feel like it’s too easy to forsake my sins while I’m on a mission. I’ll have to prove myself when I get home. I’ll be ready! Life sometimes seems long, but compared with eternity- it’s nothing. I can’t wait to be back with my Heavenly Father again.
I got a 9 page letter from Kristin today. I love it when I get long letters from her- that’s when I know how much she is doing. She is so busy- yet- she always has time to write to me, bring me things, and just take care of me. When I get home, I’ll have to make it up to her. I can’t wait! I’ll take such good care of her, no one will ever believe it. Life is great! This is a great place to be- but- in 23 days I’ll be in Fresno! I can’t wait. time is really starting to fly her. I’ve only got 690 days to go- I better start working harder!
The language is coming along great. I hope that I can REALLY lean to communicate with the Hmong people. I also hope that they will accept my message. I love them so much and I’ve only met one of them. Yaj Yig has taught us so much. She has such a humble spirit it is incredible!
July 9, 1990
What a day! Yaj- Yig brought her 8 year old daughter, TSOT NYEEG, to class. It was incredible how much she taught me. She speaks Hmong very well and also know English very well. She was so cute. It was really neat. I think that Davis got frustrated, but I really learned a lot.
We taught her the first discussion because she doesn’t know Hmong as well as an adult, it was difficult to get her to understand. Davis’s pronunciation when he gets nervous is terrible. He got nervous and he couldn’t understand a word he said. I pray constantly that he will be blessed with the language skills he needs. the spirit is what will convert people, so I guess it doesn’t matter much. He’ll do fine.
I really learned how to get along with a Hmong child. At first it was really weird because it was like I had forgotten how to relate to kids- especially girls. The language barrier didn’t help much either. It took me about 45 minutes to get her to really be my friend. I remembered all of the little things I used to do to get kids to smile. It’s amazing what a smile can do. We are friends now, but for a while I was scared I had forgotten how to get along with kids.
Jane brought 3 big packages today. I just couldn’t believe it. They were so full of food that I couldn’t imagine what in the world she thought I was going to do with it. She brought anything from grapes, doughnuts, crackers to licorice. All of the guys sure thought it was great for her to bring them so much food. I knew that I couldn’t eat it all, so I let them eat a lot of it. maybe Jane feels some competition with Kristin. Jane doesn’t stand a chance, but it sure increases my food supply.
Yesterday, Dave Ashton told me he wanted to marry Kristin. I couldn’t figure out what in the world he was talking about. It turns out some of the guys had her go get some stuff for them that they could’t get here. It is amazing to me that they realize how truly special she is when they hardly even know her. Too bad Ashton wont ever get the chance. She is the neatest girl I could ever imagine.
The other thing that I learned from Tsoj Nyeeg was how to understand Hmong without knowing every single word they say. One funny thing that happened today was that I told Tsoj Nyeeg that I “had much strength” Elder Bohn said that I didn’t. Tsoj Nyeeg told him that he had the strength of the woman and that I was strong. It’s great to have an 8 year old fight your battles for you. Seeing her made me want to get to Fresno and work with the families. That’s what it’s all about!
Kristin brought me a letter, candy bar and two balls that she had made. She is always there cheering me on. I would be a missionary without that but she’s helping me be the very best I can be. I owe my Heavenly Father alot for her help and companionship.
July 10, 1990
Today has been kind of a tough day. This morning we worked on translations again. My comp got really frustrated. At lunch, he got up about half way through and left. I’m not really sure what his problem was. He came back right when I got through. I asked him what was wrong and he said nothing. I guess that was just enough. I didn’t push any farther- so he just was really quiet all day long.
I got up @ 5:00 am and it was amazing how much I learned. I can memorize so much at that time of the morning. I plan to do it again tomorrow.
Joseph B Wirthlin spoke at the devotional tonight. It was awesome- the neat thing is that listening to apostles never gets old.
Kristin sent me a tape tonight- I can’t wait to listen to it! THE CHURCH IS SO TRUE!
July 11, 1990
Things seemed to have improved with my comp today. This morning, he just wasn’t talking to anyone- so I know it’s not something I did. Well, as the day went on, it got better. Tonight, as we were working on memorizing the latest translation of the 1st discussion (translated yesterday) he became very frustrated. I asked him if he would get up early tomorrow and let me help him with it. He said that he would, so we’ll just have to see how it goes. I hope I can help him.
Kristin brought me a wonderful letter today! The strip for today said “What will it be like to be married?” She told me all about it. I am continually amazed at how she answers all of my questions before I even ask. She always knows just what to say. Gosh, I love her.
July 12, 1990
“They don’t care what you know until they know how much you care.”
“Open your mouth and it shall be filled, but it can’t be filled until you open it.”
Today was a pretty good day. Davis and I got up early to study. I got 2 more paragraphs memorized. Elder Davis is still really struggling. The only thing that I can’t figure out is why he sleeps during the day when he knows he needs to work harder. We got up 1 hour early, yet her slept 2 hours during the day. I just don’t get it and I don’t know how to help him.
Kristin brought me some pictures today from when she was in Omaha before my farewell. They were awesome.
It was so good to see Brett’s smile again. I miss him more than I realized, but I know it’s for the best! All of the guys think he looks exactly like me, Kristin said that there was jut one picture of her on the roll. I’m sure that I took more than that! Maybe she’ll send more later. I hope so!!
I finished the Book of Mormon again today. It is truly the word of God. I prayed and received a witness of its truthfulness. That is the greatest book on the face of the earth today.
I’m really excited to go to the temple tomorrow. I hope I can be in the right frame of mind to really learn a lot. I also hope that I can do sealing again. What a wonderful opportunity.
Twist and shout was sure active today-AAAAA!
July 13, 1990
Wow! The Lord created missions to bring people to Christ and to teach missionaries, He created P-days just because they’re so awesome.
We got up at 4:20 this morning, then we went to the temple. We did an endowment session and a sealing session. It was so neat to get to go to the temple again. I love to be there.
We also played softball and did laundry. It was just a really good day to relax. The only problem is that when I have time to relax, I have time to get homesick.
Grandpa and Grandma Hansen brought me a package and I saw them in the parking lot. It was great to see them. Grandpa is such an inspiration to me.
Kristin brought me a bunch of stuff from Fresno about all of the things to do. I can’t wait to get to Fresno! THE CHURCH IS TRUE!!!
July 14, 1990
One of my best days ever!
This morning in P.E. I was playing softball and so was the P.E. instructor. The Elders playing soccer started hollering that someone was hurt. Some of us went running over. 2 kids had tried to head the same ball and had bumped heads. One had a V-shaped split in his head. He was laying on the ground and bleeding all over. Everyone was just watching him. I took off my shirt and used it to apply pressure to his forehead. He was really bleeding a lot. Anyway, the one mistake I made was that the P.E. instructor said “Let’s carry him inside.” and we should have never moved anyone with a head injury. How stupid! I won’t make that mistake again. Anyway, I used some gauze pads to get the bleeding stopped and got him settled down. When the Policeman arrived, (BYU Rent-a-cop) he reached for the gauze pad that I was still holding and tried to remove it. He looked a me like I was doing something wrong. I said, “If we remove it. it’s just going to start bleeding isn’t it?” He said- “Son, I’ve been doing this for 14 years allow me to do my job.” I figured fine. If you want to be stupid- go ahead. Anyway, I moved my hand, he reached for the gauze, stood up and walked back about 5 steps. He must have decided I was right and then been embarrased. Anyway, when the paramedics got there, they took care of it. I Don’t know why, but that Policeman really upset me. I don’t like to be called son by anyone but my Dad! The only reason he even wanted to move the gauze was so he could see.
Needless to say, my shirt was absolutely covered with blood. I came back and rinsed it out, covered it with spray and wash, and detergent to soak it in. Anyway, I got most of it out and took it to Kristin and asked her to wash it since I couldn’t do it until next Friday.
It was awesome to see Kristin today. She gets more beautiful every time I see her. I guess some things just never change.
We worked more on the first discussion more today. Elder Davis said he would get up early with me today, but he didn’t. Anyway, Yaj Yig said that I was doing very well. Elder Davis is still struggling.
The church is true and I love this work!!!
July 15, 1990
“Forget yourself into immortality and Eternal Life.”
Not much time. Today has been very tough. I met with Pres. Becraft and discussed EVERYTHING that was bothering me. He allowed me to call Kristin and make sure everything was O.K. It was really hard to tell her about it, but I’m glad I did! Now we really can be together forever. I love her and pray that she will be strengthened.
10:30--- bed time.
July 17,1990
Wow- what a couple of days. Things have been nothing but uphill since Sunday. I can’t say it’s been easy, but the Lord has certainly helped me. I just wish I could talk to Kristin about it.
Repentance can be hard, but it is soooo worth it. Last night as I was praying, I felt an extreme warmth come over me. I felt it was right for me to really converse with the Lord. It was witnessed to me that my repentance has been acceptable in the sight of God. It was also witnessed to me that the Book of Mormon is true and the church is true. I asked the Lord if Kristin was going to be my wife. The answer was yes. ( Scott later told me that the answer was “if she waits she is the right one.” and her thought well of course she will wait, so she is the right one) I sure hope I can be everything she wants me to be.
Yesterday, Kristin gave me a copy of her patriarchal blessing. She is indeed a choice daughter of God. I hope that I can be all she wants! I always want her companionship.
Today in our large group meeting, we all had stickers put on out foreheads with instructions for others to follow in dealing with us. We were then given a problem to solve. The instructions were like- Argue with me, laugh at me, encourage me, ask my opinion, etc... Anyway, at the end of the activity, the instructor asked for input. One sister aid that she knew immediately that hers said, “laugh at me.” Being the calm, quiet person that I am I said, “Oh, but what if it doesn’t.” The problem was I said it louder than I meant to. Everyone totally busted out laughing in the middle of this very spiritual meeting. The instructor was totally caught off guard. He didn’t know how to recover. I felt bad, but it was funny.
Elder Hillam spoke to us tonight. He told us that when he was set apart, he was given the power to give apostallic blessings. He blessed us that the our prayers said tonight would be answered and the things we had been praying for would be granted. I have been praying for the Spirit to accompany Kristin @ all times, that her dad will come into the church again, that Rob, Jake, and Shawn will all join the church. I also have been praying that Kristin’s body, mind and spirit will be restored completely. All of these things will come to pass. The Lord also witnessed these things to me as he spoke.
____ July 18, 1990
Well if I learn as much in the next 680 days as I have learned in each of the last 50 days this will be well worth it.
Quote of the day: “If you drink Coke, shut up. If you don’t drink Coke, shut up.” - Bruce R McKonkie
Today Kristin sent a bunch of stuff for a bubble blowing contest. She even included 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place prizes. We had the contest during afternoon class. Yaj Yig, Elder Davis and I. Elder Davis won, but I was a close second. Anyway, Yaj Yig started to cry because she was laughing so hard at me. I decided to see how big of a bubble I could blow and I got gum all over my face. I thought she would never quit laughing.
She told us the other day about how she got to America. Only she and her mother made it. The communists wouldn’t allow the rest of them to leave. Originally, they would allow family members to leave one at a time, but then after she and her mother left, they said no one else could leave. She hasn’t heard from her father for 15 years and doesn’t even know if he is alive. She bore testimony that the Lord brought her to this country. It is so sad to hear her story, but it is also so wonderful to hear her testimony.
My back has been really sore lately. A tiger balm backrub would sure be nice about right now!
Yesterday on the envelope of the letter that I sent to Kristin, I wrote that I sure would like a tape. She brought me one yesterday. It is so amazing how she always knows just what I need. She is the coolest.
This morning, Elder Davis said maybe 3 words to me. I can’t figure it out. He didn’t seem angry over anything, he’s just been grumpy all day. I came back early from gym and polished his shoes for him. He didn’t even notice- its probably just as well. I’m not sure what his problem is, but today when we were practicing the first discussion, he totally interrupted me to read a scripture that had no relevance to anything. He must have no idea as to what the discussions say. I’d like to help him, but I don’t exactly know how to help someone who doesn’t talk. I’ll just keep praying. I love my mission and the gospel.
July 19, 1990
Jesus the Christ (MTC) Bible
Truth Restored (MTC) Missionary Guide
Gospel Principles Book of Mormon (MTC)
A marvelous Work and a Wonder D & C
Articles of Faith Pearl of Great Price
These are al of the books that I want to read during my mission.
I also want to learn a lot about and strengthen my faith.
Today- the language finally clicked. I mean, I’m sure it will take some getting used to in Fresno, but for now- it is working. I can both understand and speak Hmong. The gifts of the Spirit are so real. We should seek them all, one at a time. I know that without God’s help I am nothing and can do nothing.
Tonight I got a bunch of Oreo’s from Kristin. She must have brought them pretty late. I was afraid that maybe something had happened to her. She is the coolest. She seems really scared now. Like she thinks something is going to change us. I wish I could just be with her and tell her to not be scared and I’ll always love her.
Tomorrow I get to go to the temple. I can’t wait.
July 20, 1990
This morning, after doing laundry, Elder Davis and I went to the temple with Yaj Yig. It was the coolest! While we were sitting in the chapel waiting for the endowment session to start, she was looking through all of her stuff to be sure she had everything. She said that if she didn’t, she would be in trouble. I glanced at the paper with the name on it and she was going through for a Maria. I learned over and whispered that it would be Maria that would have the problem. Yaj Yig started to laugh and couldn’t stop. I think that I have down how to joke around with people in Hmong. They say that that is a good sign that you really know the language. The Lord has helped me soooo much! The gift of tongues is so real.
After going to the temple, I went to the bookstore and bought a tape to make for Kristin and I made her a tape. Then while Elder Davis played basketball, I ironed his shirts. I think that it really helps him if I show that I care. I hope he’ll keep learning.
Anyway, then I ironed my shirts and wrote Kristin a letter. She’s going to be in the apartment by herself this weekend. I hope she does okay. She absolutely hates to be alone.
July 21, 1990
My life was forever changed this evening.
Today I got to see Kristin quite a bit, but she seemed very distant- especially this afternoon. I’m not sure why, it was probably just me.
I learned tonight what life is truely about. I have been trying to find joy in all the wrong places. Kristin has told me at least a million times to seek after the spirit- I never understood. Here are some of the thoughts that flooded into my mind this evening.
“Don’t do anything to offend the Spirit.”
“In a moment to my view, the stranger started from disguise THE SAVIOR STOOD BEFORE MINE EYES ( A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief)
I know that the Savior stood before my spiritual eyes this evening and taught me.
These were the things I was taught...
1)First of all, when I read scriptures, I will no longer plow through books. I will pray before hand and read according to what the Spirit dictates. I will take notes as I read and strive for the Spirit. I will write my feelings.
2) Questions: What are you willing to do to get what you want?
3) I am NO better than anyone else.
4) Our God is not a God of the Church Goer. We all need to be brought back into the fold because we have ALL sinned.
5)The Spirit is willing, but the Flesh is weak. -Jesus Christ to Peter in Gethsemane BUT- We should always pray to be filled with desire.
6) ONWARD- EVER ONWARD, AS WE GLORY IN HIS NAME!
No matter where we start, we must always strive to move onward. No matter what direction we are going at the instant.
7) WAYS TO BRING IN THE SPIRIT!
** BY SHARING:
- Experiences
- Hymns
- Prayer- know when to pray with others (whenever the spirit dictates)
- Priesthood Ordinances
- Testimony
- Scriptures
- Love for God and Man
Number 4 brought back the remembrance of something Kristin told me after I gave her a priesthood blessing. She said-
“When you put your hands on my head, I felt a warmth come over my body, and I knew that I would be okay.”
8) Why do we have to get fed up with not having the Spirit before we will act? Especially me? NO MORE!
9) I will do NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES to have a spiritual experience every day of the rest of my life.
On my mission, in my life, and in my family.
10) It is especially important to me that as a family, we share a spiritual experience EVERY SINGLE DAY.
When Elder Erekson was on his way out, I told him thanks, he bowed his head and said- You bet. He had shown me that I need not be afraid to have the Spirit. Something that I have dealt with since Todd made fun of me for crying during a testimony meeting when I was 9. My family has not shared a great number of spiritual experiences. The key is to SHARE them with others. This increases their magnitude 100,000 fold.
I am slowly learning to be what God wants me to be.
“Let them fulfill the measure of their creation, that they may have joy therein.”
I was created to be a God, I won’t have full joy until I fulfill that measure.
I love this work. I pray that I will strive always to have the spirit with me- It’s worth “wasting” a life over.
July 22, 1990
You really can have the constant companionship of the Holy ghost! All that you need to do is ask for it. Today has been the very most spiritual day of my whole entire life. I have felt the spirit so much that I can hardly believe it. Doing the things that I wrote yesterday really work!
One good story- a young man was a football player, he played quite well, but never became very good. He was informed on week before the ‘big’ game that his father had died. He returned home for the funeral and got back to school just in time for the game. Just before the game, he begged his coach to let him start. The coach finally consented. The Young man played the most outstanding game of his life. Everyone, including himself was amazed. After the game, the coach asked him, “ what happened out there?” The young man told the coach that his father was blind, and that that was the first time he had ever played so his father could see.
One quick note from yesterday= Yaj Yig had me translate part of the 5th discussion. At first, it was very difficult, but as I tried, the Lord filled in the rest. It was so cool! The gift of tongues is real!
My family came to see me today since they won’t be able to come to the airport. It was sooooo good to see them.
It was good to see Todd, but he is still really distant. Maybe it will always be that way. I will keep trying.
Heather said something that really disappointed me. She said she promised that I wouldn’t have any nephews or nieces when I got home. What’s the use of being marrried if you’re not ready for a family. I don’t know- I just don’t get it. Todd and Heather have to make their own decisions I guess.
It was hard to see Mom. Missions are absolute HELL for Mom’s. I know that she will be blessed for it, but it’s still tough on her.
Dad was his same old self. He said that MAP is doing well. It is beating the S&P 500 & the DOW!!!!
Grandpa and Grandma Hansen came too. They are always so great. Grandpa is such a source of strength to me. What an example he has set for me!
Eric’s nose is still quite swollen and his eyes are bruised from the surgery. That poor guy! He didn’t have a whole lot to say, but it was great to see him.
Jennie is turning into a very pretty young lady, even if the end of her noise is sun burned. I still have a hard time relating to her. I mean, I guess I just don’t know who to be her friend very well. I’ll keep working on it.
It was so hard to say good-bye to Brett. He gave me a hug and wouldn’t let go. It is so hard to be away from him. Davis said he was just like me. Brett’s my buddy!
My parents also brought Kristin with them! What an awesome surprise! She honestly looked more beautiful today than she ever has. she was wearing Girbaud jeans! She is so awesome. We were getting our picture taken and she stood right up next to me. It was so awesome to feel her next to me. She even scratched my back. The other thing that was neat was that she belonged. My family wouldn’t have been complete without her.
July 23, 1990
Today’s scripture study topic- 3 Nephi 11:3-7.
Verse 3:
They all heard the voice, but did not understand until they cast their eyes toward the source. we all have the light of Christ, but don’t comprehend the full meaning until we recognize and acknowledge the source of the promptings.
The voice pierced them to the center and caused their hearts to burn- just like the Holy Ghost- even before they understood-
Just like the Holy ghost, the voice was not harsh or laud, neither is God a harsh nor loud God.
The voice pierced then to their soul, the Holy Ghost speaks to out soul. Soul = spirit (Alma 40: 11-14)
The voiced caused them to quake- the voice spoke to the soul, but effected the body. The body does not act independent of the soul.
Verse 5:
After the source of the voice was ascertained, they continued to look to the source “steadfastly towards Christ, the source of our light. They also had to “open their ears to hear it.” We must open our ears in order to hear the promptings of the Spirit. The spirit always prompts, but we must open our ears to hear it, by being worthy, trying to hear, and praying for our ears to be opened. We must do our part.
Verse 6:
After doing the above, the people understood. Proof of their worthiness is the fact that they were still alive, they looked to the source, and they sought the source (ie. they were gathered to the temple to discuss Christ, verse 1). Then the ears of their understanding were opened.
Verse 7:
God glorified his name in Christ. Christ was a necessary part of God’s plan.
Once my hands were empty, and so it seemed was my own heart.
Once I held hers in mine, it seemed we’d never been apart.
But now I’ve let hers go and placed my hand in the Lord’s hand.
I hate when we’re apart, forever we’ll stand hand in hand.
The Spirit was so strong again today, but not in the same way as yesterday. I cried a lot yesterday, but today I felt as though the spirit was truly guiding my every action- as long as I allowed myself to be guided. I mean, who would have ever thought that I could write two pages of insights gained from reading 7 verses? How incredible! It helps so much to write while you read the scriptures. I think that the Lord feels more inclined to tell me things because I will never forget them when I write them down. (Yes, I have felt the same way- Mom)
Kristin and Jennie brought me a Raspberry pie today. It was soooo good. Raspberry pie is about my favorite thing in the whole world, next to the gospel and Kristin that is. I’m so glad that Kristin had Jennie spend the night. Maybe Kristin can be good friends with jennie and that way she can tell me how to relate better to Jennie.
14 Fundamentals in following the Prophet (Large group meeting yesterday)
- The prophet is the only man who speaks for God in ALL things.
- The living prophet is more vital to us than the standard works
- the living prophet is more important to us than a dead one
- The prophet will not lead the Church astray.
- Prophet needs no special training to speak on or act on any subject.
- Prophet’s words are scripture
- A prophet says what we need to hear, not necessarily what we want to hear.
- A prophet is not limited by the reasoning of man.
- A prophet can receiver revelation on ay matter, spiritual or temporal.
- Prophet may be involved in Civil matters
- Proud of learning and the rich have the most difficulty following the prophet’s council if they are proud.
- Prophet is not required to be popular. i.e. Enoch
- 1st Presidency is the highest quorum in the Church.
- Follow them and be blessed, Reject them and be cursed.
- taken from the remarks of Ezra Taft Benson while an apostle.
July 24, 1990
Today’s scripture reading: 3 Nephi 11
Verse 7:
“Hear ye Him.” We receive very few commandments straight from Elohim. This is the phrase that makes us accountable for all of the words and commandments given through Jesus Christ.
Verse 8:
Christ is a man. Even after hearing and understanding the voice, the people thought it was an angel. They did not think it was Christ. The people still did not understand the way of God, but Christ acted as an intermediary- being a comforter, just as the Holy Ghost acts as an intermediary fro us today- also being a comforter. It is only through the Holy Ghost that we understand the ways of God.
Verse 9:
Christ stretched forth His hand as He now stretches forth His hand to speak to the people. The Church and missionaries and prophet are his hand.
Verse 10:
The prophets all testified of Christ. In fact, it is only through the atonement of Christ that we are able to pray, have the Priesthood, or have prophets- since we would all be unworthy of any of these without Christ’s atonement. The fall is overcome by Christ’s offering. Christ testified of himself.
Verse 11:
As above, through Christ’s sacrifice, the world is lighted. For this reason, he is the light of the world. Light is the source of all life. Christ took upon him the sins of the world in order to glorify the Father. The Father’s glory is to bring to pass the Eternal life and immortality (other order) of man. Without Christ, this would be impossible. Christ followed the will of the Father in All THINGS. We should strive always to do the same. The Father gave Christ the bitter cup- Christ did not take it.
Verse 12:
The multitude fell before Christ. This both shows respect and humility- We should always show reverence unto Christ and his representatives. The people remembered the prophecies. We should live in a way that remembering will not bring guilt.
Repentance is the key.
July 24, 1990
Well, I have had a fairly good day today, but something hasn’t seemed quite right. I didn’t hear from Kristin today. I pray that she is all right. I’m not sure where she is, but I hope she is okay.
The spirit has been strong today. It is amazing how strong the spirit can be if I truly seek after it.
I just said Good-bye to Jeremy Doyle. HE leaves in the morning for Anaheim. He has been such a good friend to me. What an example! If anyone can make it- he will. Oh well, he’ll keep in touch and I’ll see him again.
I have felt especially homesick today. I hope that I can get through it- what a stupid thing to write! I’ll get through it. I really am worries about Kristin. It is very much unlike her to just not write or anything. I hope she’s okay.
July 25, 1990
Today’s scripture- 3 Nephi 13
Verse 13:
Christ spake to the people and caused that his words should be written- thus, he spake to us.
Verse 14:
Arise and come forth unto me. “Christ’s words to all people. We will be commanded to arise when resurrected also. Christ allowed them to feel his wounds. Apparently, Christ’s resurrected body is not “perfect,” but each of ours will be. Christ is the God of Israel and the whole earth. It is through Israel that the Lord’s kingdom will be organized. All who repent and come unto Christ will be numbered among the tribes of Israel. Christ was slain for the sins of the world- MY SINS!
Verse 15:
The multitude did as Christ bade them. Christ allowed them to approach him, “One by one.” He took time for each of them as he takes time for each of us now. He also atoned for and forgives each and everyone of us, one by one. They all knew that Jesus was the Christ. The people knew of a surety. Someday, everyone will know that He is the Christ. Christ was He of whom the prophets had written and have written since and will write.
Verse 16:
After they knew that He was the Christ, the people cried with one accord, as the people of zion- one heart and one mind. Each had witnessed for himself. The people cried out- it was not enough to have a conviction. We must also cry out, and testify.
Verse 17:
Hosanna- “save now’ (Bible Dictionary) The people blessed the mane of God the Father and worshipped Christ. God the Father had sent Christ, also Christ was worshipped because through him the people could return to the Father. Thus, “I am in the Father, and the father in me.” The Father glorifies his name through Christ, and Christ receives his glory through suffering all of his Father’s will and drinking of the cup that the Father gave him and bade him drink. Jehovah and Elohim are very much reliant on one another.
Not much time- After P.E. today I was walking back toward the dorm & Kristin came running up behind me with a package. She was with my family in Logan yesterday. She is so cool. Then- she brought me a tape this afternoon. I can’t wait to listen to it! I love her. It was so good to see her today.
Yesterday, Yaj Yig gave me a Hmong name since they can’t say Elder. My name is “Kub” which means gold. I can’t wait to get to Fresno! Kub also means hot or scalding.
I need to be sure that I progress every day, spiritually, mentally and physically.
Today I felt I progressed fairly well, I am constantly striving to have the Spirit! It takes constant effort.
July 26, 1990
Today’s scripture- 3 Nephi 11:18-
Verse 18:
He spake unto Nephi, he called him out of the multitude. The Lord calls prophets our of the multitude and instructs them in much the same way.
Verse 19:
Even though Nephi was the one chosen of the Lord to come forth, he was humble. He bowed himself down before the Lord and kissed his feet. How much more need have I to humble myself before God.
Verse 20:
Our great Lord and Savior commanded him to rise and be as His equal or partner. Christ has commanded all of us who will humble themselves before God to arise and become even as Him. What a wonderful thing to be commanded to do! Nephi also stood before the Lord, in full view of the Lord. We all stand in full view of the Lord.
Verse 21:
The Lord delegated the power of baptism unto Nephi. Although the Lord could do all things Himself, he delegates power and responsibility to us that it might be for our profit and learning. I am so grateful for the Priesthood that I hold and for the opportunity that I have been given to serve a mission. It is through the atonement of Christ in my behalf that these things and many other wonderful things are possible. Nephi was given power to baptize “This people” not just some of them. Through him and the power given to him, he was to baptize all of the people. What an awesome and incredible opportunity and responsibility. Same power missionaries have today.
July 26, 1990
Today Elder Erekson told me something that gave me an idea as to how to make better use of my time as a missionary during all of the “bed time” hours. He told me to pray at night for instruction in my sleep, whether it be through dreams, enlightenment of my mind, or through other means. I’ll give it an shot and see what happens.
The way that I’ve been reading the scriptures lately has really been helping me a lot. It has not only enabled me to be more open to the whisperings and enticings of the Spirit, but it has also helped me to gain personal testimony of all of the things that I’m reading.
Kristin sent me a truly wonderful letter today. My life sure seems wonderful right now, but when I get home and marry her, it will be so much more wonderful! I can hardly wait! She also sent me a Far Side Cartoon that was just about the funniest one I had ever seen. It shows a bunch of knights standing in 2 groups. One group is in full armor while the other group is taking off all of their upper body armor. One of the ones that is undressing says “This is dumb! Really dumb! Why do WE have to go skins?” Beneath the cartoon, it says “medieval pickup battles.” I thought it was about the funniest thing that I have seen. I about died laughing. I think I’ll send it to Shane Dunaway.
Today, I taught the first part of the second discussion to Elder Erekson. I was so amazed at the way I was able to tell about examples and just say what I wanted. The gift of tongues is so real! I have a very strong testimony of this gift of the spirit. All we have to do is pray and study, and the Lord will fill in the rest.
The other neat thing that happened today was that while I was taking some notes on the discussion, I realized that I had written some of them in Hmong without even thinking about it. it was really cool!
I plan to be completely obedient to the Lord’s commandments. I realized today that if I ever stop thinking about the Lord and stop praying for even a second, the Spirit will leave me. I don’t want that to happen. I will continue to strive always to have the constant companionship of the spirit. The church is sooooo true. It’s time for bed. Hope this is legible.
July 27, 1990
Today’s scripture Reading 3 Nephi 11:22-25
Verse 22:
The Lord called others and gave them the same power as Nephi. He does not leave us alone- He alway helps us and provides ways for us to accomplish our responsibility (1 Nephi 3:7) He then gave them directions for baptizing and said there should be no disputations. In other words, they were to do EXACTLY as the Lord said. The first law of Heaven is OBEDIENCE. The disciples were also commanded that there should be no disputations AMONG THEM. They should be of one heart and one mind. The Lord “said unto them likewise.” We are all told the same things (scriptures). It is what we do with this knowledge that determines what happens from that point on.
Verse 23:
They should baptize people in Christ’s name. It is only through the atonement that any blessings are granted unto us. When we raised our hand in the council of Heaven and voted to come to earth, we knew we would sin and forfeit all right to any blessings. It is only through the atonement that we are able to have blessing and have the ability to return to God. Christ’s atonement was INFINITE. All who desire to take advantage of it may. A requirement of baptism is repentance. Furthermore, the people had to be brought to repentance through the words of the disciples. Teach by the spirit- D&C 50. Therefore, they must have been brought to repentance by the workings of the Holy Spirit. They also must desire to be baptized. These are the 2 steps of conversion: 1) They must feel the Spirit. 2) They must desire to and keep the commandments because of the Spirit that they felt. Also- standing in the water is part of the procedure of baptism that was and is to be followed.
Verse 24:
The exact words are to be used. The person being baptized is called by name. Christ know us al by name and would also call us by name if He was doing the baptism Himself.
Verse 25:
The person performing the ordinance reaffirms the source of his authority- Jesus Christ. The wording in this verse is slightly different than in D&C 20:73. However, we use the wording in D& C 20:73 when baptizing today. This reaffirms what Ezra Taft Benson said while an apostle- “ The living prophet is more important to us than the dead ones.” Joseph Smith’s revelation is more important to us and more correct than the writings of Nephi A.D>34. Although the authority is from Christ, baptism is one of the few ordinances performed in the names of all three members of the Godhead. The reason for this is as of yet unknown to me. it is not necessary for me to know at this time, but at some time I will know.
July 27, 1990
I have sure been nervous today. I guess I finally realized how much I have to do and that I’m leaving on Wednesday morning at 5:30 am. The day went really well though. I kind of feel like the warm-ups are over,and now I’m sitting on the side of the pool waiting for them to call me to the starting blocks. I mean I can do small little things to stay loose, but basically the things I can do have been done. I’m just waiting.
Today Kristin brought me a bunch of Coke and Clearly Canadians in the cooler. I can’t believe it. I have claim on the Clearly Canadians and the other guys can have the Coke. Raspberry Clearly Canadians bring back so many memories. I love her. She takes such good care of me!
July 28, 1990
Today’s Scripture Reading - 3 Nephi: 11:25-
Verse 25- I think that I understand better now why we have authority from Christ to baptize, yet we baptize in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Today while I was in the temple, I was reading the BOM in the chapel before the endowment session. I prayed that I might be given more understanding concerning this matter. As I read, I read in Verse 27 about how the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are one God. ( One in heart and mind, like the people of Zion) Anyway, I realized that this meant that Christ could give authority to do things in the names of all three. My mind is still occupied with the singularity of this ordinance. It is actually one of 2 ordinances done in the names of all 3. The other is the sealing ordinance.
Verse 26: The ordinance of baptism is very symbolic. When the person is immersed, this symbolizes his death. As he is raised up out of the water, his resurrection is symbolized. The person has also ended his old life of sin, unbelief, and lack of knowledge. He is reborn as a believer and follower of Christ, whit the knowledge gained through the teachings he has been given in the discussions. The person comes “forth again,” just as they will in the resurrection.
Today was P-day - Yeah! We got up at 4:15 and went to the temple for the 5:20 a.m. endowment session. It was the best one yet. Every time I go through the temple, I learn more than the lost time. It his me as I entered the Celestial Room that I wouldn’t be back for about 22 months. That was sure tough.
Today also marks my 60th day on my mission. I will be so glad to get out of here and teach the people.
I went to the mall today and bought a bike and had it sent to Fresno. It cost me $548.00, but it is a really nice bike. The frame is thermal bonded aluminum and it has 21 gears. It should be a great bike! I hope they send it and it gets there O.K.
I got to see Kristen today too! It was great. I sure hope it gets easier for her after I get to Fresno. We’ve both learned an awful lot since my mission started, I’m sure going to try to keep on learning so that I can be the best husband and father that I can be.
Everyone is getting packed up to leave. It seems really strange that I have been here nearly 2 months, that’s half of a semester of school! I’ve now got my first and second discussion pretty much down. It is amazing how if I prayerfully set a goal and pray to the Lord for help, he will allow me to do it, as long as I trust in Him.
It will really be weird here without all of the Cantonese Elders that leave on Monday. I will carry on!
July 29, 1990
Today’s scripture reading: 3 Nephi 11:27-31
Verse 27:Jesus closes his discussion of baptism by stating again that this is manner by which baptisms should be performed. He then states the unity of the Godhead and then he states the unity of the Father and Son. The Godhead is one, in that they are of one heart, mind, and purpose- like the people of Zion. The Father and Son are one for the above reason and also because the Father gives glory to the Son. By so doing, they both obtain their glory from one another:thus the Father and Son are one.
Verse 28: Christ reiterates the fact that there should be no disputations among the disciples concerning the manner of baptism or the doctrines of Christ, “As there have hither to been.” Today, we should not dispute the doctrine of Christ either. This is a key thing missionaries to learn. It is not our job, duty , or right to contend with others concerning doctrine. If someone challenges the doctrines that we present and wants to argue, we should not take up the challenge and contend. We should simply bear testimony and thank them and be on our way because.....
Verse 29: “He that hath the Spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil,” We also know the 2 spirits cannot occupy the same body. Therefore, if the devil is with us, then the Holy Ghost can not be with us. This is why it is so important that I do not contend with others. This is certainly something that I will need to be wary of on my mission. The Lord has certainly blessed me with a mind that is certainly capable of contending with anyone, but as soon as I try this, the Lord will not strive with me, The devil is the one that causes my heart to desire contention. I must never desire contention in my life.
Verse 30: Christ’s doctrine is not that of contention. In fact, his doctrine is completely opposite. He wants us to stop contending with one another. Christ wants for the doctrines of Satan to be done away with. It is for this reason that he descended to this Earth, atoned for our sins and set a perfect example for us.
Verse 31: Christ tells the Nephites that he will declare unto them His doctrine. He is yet declaring His doctrine unto us today through prophets and scripture.
We have the opportunity to receive Christ’s Doctrine Daily.
Today has really been a good day. The Spirit has been unbelievably strong. My room mates are getting ready to leave in the morning. I can’t believe 2 months have already gone by.
Faith- Drives men to action
Must be centered on Christ
Is POWER
Must be based on truth.
How do we obtain Faith?
1.Know of God
2. Correct knowledge of God’s attributes
3. Know the what you are doing is in accordance with God’s will.
I really gained a testimony of the third item today. That was the one part of the formula that was missing. I had not yet gained a personal testimony of that. Now I KNOW.
I also bore my testimony in Sacrament Meeting today. One of my goals for this time at the MTC was to learn to bear powerful witness of the truthfulness of the gospel. Several people told me after wards that they felt the power of my testimony. That really made me feel good. The Lord allowed me to really grow during my stay here. I hope I can always strive to strengthen my testimony.
Quick story... A little girl was sick and needed a blood transfusion- no donor could be found. Her brother, one year younger was found to be a suitable donor. The Father asked if he would do it and he said, “I’ll do it, Dad.” When the procedure was completed, the little boy asked the doctor, “When will I die?” The little boy had gone into it fully expecting to die. What love! I really hope that my family will honestly have that kind of love for one another. (This is something Dad talks about a lot. He felt badly that he did not have a super close relationship with his siblings and he wanted that for his kids. That is some of the reason why we quit doing organized sports and focused on family recreation. This is why Dad always stressed that we were all on the same team. I know he wants us to continue to be close and to pass this down in your own families.)
Pray always to have a heightened awareness of temptation, then when you are aware of it, fill the void with good actions. (If your temptation is to be down and depressed fill it with service. It is impossible to be depressed and grateful at the same time.)
The time of this life is nothing compared to the eternity of teaching that we were given before our birth. The key is to “remember’ what we were taught and ‘overcome’ what we have picked up of the world. (Love this thought!)
Mosiah 5:15- I will always pray to God that He will seal me HIS.
Moroni 7:33- “And if ye will have faith in me, ye shall have power to do whatsoever thing is expedient in me.” (This is Dad’s favorite scripture. He had me memorize it right after we got married)
July 30, 1990
Today’s Scripture reading 3 NE 11:32-
Verse 32: Christ’s doctrine is given to Him by the Father. Christ witnessed of the Father, and the Father had born witness of Christ 3 times up to this point- at Christ’s baptism, 2. at the Mount of Transfiguation and 3. at Christ’s descension in the Americas in A.D. 34. The Father bore witness again when the Father and Son appeared to Joseph Smith in 1820. The Holy Ghost also bears record of the Father and Son constantly. Christ then said that he bears record The the Father commands all men, everywhere to repent and believe in Christ. Christ did not command us to believe in Him. The Father is He who issued the command.
Verse 33: Whosoever believeth in Christ and is baptized in His name, the same shall be saved and inherit the kingdom of God. This is because those who truely believe in Christ and truely keep the covenants of baptism shall be saved. It is not enough to simply believe in Christ. We must keep the covenants we make, we also must continue to keep the commandments.
Covenants of baptism: 1. Remember Christ always
- Take upon us the name of Christ.
- Keep the commandments of Christ
If we do these 3 things, we shall be saved.
Verse 34: tells us what happens if we do not believe in Christ and are not baptized- we are damned.( which means our eternal progress is haulted)
verse 35: Anyone who believes in Christ believes also in the Father, and unto those who believe in Christ, the Father will bear witness of Christ unto them through the power of the Holy Ghost. It is important to note that the first step in this process is belief in Christ.
Verse 36: (refer to comments on verse 27) Again the Holy Ghost beareth witness of the Father and Son. He also beareth witness of himself through the manifestation of his power unto the souls of men.
***Verse 37: In order to receive the Holy Ghost and a full witness of all of the teachings of Christ, we must repent and be baptized. We also must become as a little child, this entails the following and more:
- Submissive to the will of the Father in everyway.
- Always learning and striving to do better.
- Trusting in the Father for our care, even as a child relies on his father for his care
- Believing all teachings of the Father
- humility
- Unconditional love for others.
Without doing these things, we can not inherit the kingdom of God.
Verse 38: Christ reiterated what he said in the last verse. We MUST DO these things, not just talk about them.
Verse 39: If we do these things, build on these things and develop these qualities, hell will not prevail against us. The fact that Christ said build on these things is significant in at least 2 ways.
- We are to develop these qualities during this lifetime, we are not expected to master them all in everyway.
- This life is a process, not an end to a means, it is a means to an end. We must work on these qualities our entire life. If I ever feel I have them masterd, I better work on humility. It is also important to repent constantly. If I really work on these things, God will prevent hell from being a part of my eternal life.
Verse 40: Christ states that these things are all that is required for eternal life. However, since we are commanded to perform temple ordinances, these fall into the part of keeping the commandments.
Verse 41: GO FORTH AND DECLARE MY WORDS UNTO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH- How much clearer could it be.
2 Nephi 31 Nephi is teaching his people
Verse 1: What Nephi had written is only a small portion of what he has said. This means that the rest of the things that he and Jacob taught must be learned from one of the following-
- other Scripture
- Prophets of the modern dispensation
- enlightenment from the spirit
Verse 2: Nephi prophesied plainly- that we might understand. He says he must speak these things of the Doctrine of Christ. This means that the Spirit prompted him. The Spirit prompted him because the things that he wrote are important to ME.
Verse 3: The Lord works in plain ways. He speaks to men in their own language through scriptures, prophets, and through whisperings of the Holy Ghost. This also means that the Lord will reach men in their own tongue. This is why I must learn Hmong.
Verse 4: The prophet spoken of here is John the Baptist. IT was important to Nephi that we should remember that John the Baptist would baptize Christ. 1 Nephi 10:8- John the Baptist prepared the way fro Christ much as the missionary work of today is preparing the way for Christ again. Every member of the church has the responsibility of preparing themselves and those around them for the 2nd coming if Christ. Nephi also says that Christ will take away the sins of the world.
Verse 5: Christ was baptized to fulfill all righteousness. It was commanded that everyone should be baptized and as a mortal, Christ was part of everyone. If Christ being perfect needed to be baptized then we being singul require baptism that much more.
Verse 7; Christ was baptized to show that he was humble and obedient befoer the Father.”Yea, even as a child doth submit to the will of his father.” Mosiah 3:19 He showed this unto the children of men, because the Father already knew it.
Verse 8: The Holy Ghost descended on Christ in the form of a dove. the dove is the sign of the Holy Ghost. It is simply used to symbolize the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost did not posess the body of a dove. A dove also represents peach, as the Holy Ghost brings peach to our souls. The Holy Ghost is simply described as being like a dove, not actually being a dove.
Verse 9: IF even Christ required the ordinance of baptism to enter Heaven, the way to Heaven must be very straight and narrow. Christ set the example for us to follow. WE MUST FOLLOW. This is why baptism is so important. No man shall enter into the kingdom of God without this ordinance.
Verse 10: Christ commands us to follow His example. His was not a program of do as I say, His was a program of DO AS I DO. The only way to follow Christ is through exact obedience to the commandments of God. We must be obedient in both the Spirit and the letter of the law. It is in the way that we follow Jesus.
What an awesome day! We spent most of the day reading the Book of Mormon. I learned so much, as can probably be seen from the previous pages.
All of the guys left for Hong kong today. Things sure seem empty. I can’t wait to get to Fresno.
July 31, 1990
This morning we went to the temple with Elder Erekson. It was so good. I love doing endowments. I also had the opportunity to see a couple of young men take their wives -to- be through the veil. That is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. In the Celestial room, we talked for a while. At first I really learned a lot, but as we started to get into deeper meanings, I felt like the Spirit partly withdrew. I had a feeling like the first 4 principles of the gospel are what I should concentrate on for now. In fact, that’s enought to spend your whole lifetime on. I mean, the deeper meanings are important when the spirit gives them to you, but not when you are just guessing at them or reasoning them out. It won’t work.
Tonight, after a half P-day to pack, we had some Hmong food. Hmong people call jalepeno peppers- “sweet peppers.” I have never eaten anything with peppers on it that were that hot! I couldn’t even taste the rice.
Afterwards, we had a very good testimony meeting. It was so awesome. I am so grateful to all of my teachers. They have all given up a lot to help me be a good missionary.
Thought for the day- I refuse to allow Christ’s suffering for my salvation to be in vain!- Scott Clarke
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