9/22-9/29/1991

Sept 22, 1991

Boy, have I ached inside today or what?  I’m not sure how to deal with being homesick, but I’m working on it.  I didn’t deal with it very well today.

We had the Primary Program today in church.  It went really well.  The primary is a combination of Hmong, Lao, and Cambodians.  It always fills my heart to hear children sing. i and tears in my eyes through the whole program.  It also was very apparent that the Hmong branch is far ahead of the other two branches. Our young men and Priesthood leaders were very much the leaders our young men took charge of administering the sacrament and did so in a manner that I am certain would please the Savior.  They were not shy or embarrassed to perform their priesthood duties.  It was awesome.

Not a whole lot else has happened today.  We walked to church with Her Thao’s kids.  Since she has remarried as a 2nd wife this week. I doubt she’ll ever be back in church but her children still want to be baptized.  I hope that the Lord will bless and watch over those children.  They’ll need it.

I still haven’t decided how to deal with the new husband.  We don’t want to recognize their marriage, yet we want to make sure that he is not angry with the kids either.

Sept 24, 1991

Transfer calls are tomorrow and I am sure anxious to find out whether or not I am going to get moved.  I really love sit here in Stockton, but I am also starting to feel like it is time to move on to other things.  i guess I’ll just have to wait and see what happens when transfer calls come.  I am excited to serve where ever the Lord wants me. i guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

Today seemed like a rather slow day.  After DDM, we went on team-ups for a while.  I went with Xiong Vang to see some people.  He is really a neat guy.  He is 21 years old, and he has not been on a mission yet.  I talked to him quite a bit about going.  He said that he would talk to his dad about it and see. I think that if he had enough encouragement he would go on a mission.  That would be awesome to be able to have another Hmong guy go on a mission.

It has been a very long time since I heard from my family.  I hope that all is going well with them. I sure do wish that they would write to me more often. There is more to supporting a missionary than just financial support.  If my family would write to me once a week, that would be enough for me.  Oh well, that’s the way it goes. The one letter I receive today was from a member of the High Council back home.

Sept 25, 1991

Well transfer calls came and went this morning. I didn’t get moved, and either did my companion, so that was a relief.  Transfers are always a stress for me.  it’s like I always have a weight hanging over my head. I never know for sure whether I will be going or not.  What a stress.  Anyway, no one around here got transferred so everything is cool.

We went and taught Npuag Cheeb Lis and his wife today.  It went really well.  I sure hope that they are able to make a baptismal commitment soon.

Tonight Pao Vang, Patrick Vang, and Xiong Yang took us to a Vietnamese restaurant.  The food was really good.  After that, we went to the church for mutual.

No mail today.  That’s getting old.  Where are my parents?  It’s even bee a week since Kristin wrote. (That’s a long time for her) Where is everyone?

Sept 27, 1991

Well, most of yesterday did not go very well.  We just had a really hard time catching people at home.  Then at about 8:30 pm, we were visiting Tsheej Muas and his family.  The phone rang and Kiab answered.  She said that an old man was in the emergency room at the hospital and had asked for us to come and translate for him.  The woman that had called was Tuam Yaj’s wife. She later told us that she had called us three times but was unable to reach us.  Then she prayed and asked for help to locate us.  The next call she placed was to the house that we were at.  It is amazing to me that the Lord is able to use us as instruments in his hands as long as we are striving to do his work.

I received quite a bit of mail yesterday.  I got a letter from Eric, letter and chocolates from Mom, and a letter from Kristin.  It was really good to hear from Mom.  She said that everything back home was going really well.  Kristin’s letter was postmarked the 23rd, but it was dated the 18th. I’m kind of frustrated that I never know for sure how much or when I’ll hear from her.  Sometimes I get a ton of mail, and at other times I hear from very little.  I just wish that I knew what to expect.  I imagine that she writes when she can.  It’s just that for the last 2 weeks I haven’t heard much at all.  I guess that the mail system in Heber could also be screwed up too. 

Today was a pretty good day.  I am still struggling with how much room to give Elder Taylor in his planning days and his work.  That is going to be one of my biggest struggles for the entire time that I am with him.

I didin’t get any mail today.  I imagine that yesterday was all that I’ll hear from my family for a while.  I had kind of hoped to hear something more recent from Kristin, but I didn’t. I wonder what she is doing, how she gets along with everyone, how she spends her time each day, and what she is up too.  I miss her constantly.  I only wish that she could know how much I miss her.

Sept 28, 1991

I’m not too sure what it is, but every day for the past week I have gradually gotten more and more homesick.  In fact, today I have felt most of the day like I just had this big lump in my throat all day long.  It seemed as though nothing could go right today.  None of our teaching appointments went well, my companions bike broke down, I didn’t hear from Kristin again today, and I have just plain ached inside all day long.

One good thing did happen today.  I found out that Lisa Schwediman is engaged.  That is really good because she will be married when I get home and I won’t have to worry about her wanting to go our with me when I get home or anything like that.

Grandpa Hansen wrote me a letter today too.  He says that all is going well in Utah.  Jane is apparently doing some better, although she is still struggling a great deal.  I wish that there was some way to snap my fingers and make everything all better for her, but I am sure that the Lord will bless her for all of the tribulations that she is now suffering.

Sept 29, 1991

Well, this will be my last recording in my journal for the month of September.  it has truly been a great day.  We had a ton of people at church- 116 people including 16 priesthood holders.  I fasted today and asked the Lord to truly bless my efforts here in Stockton as well as blessing me with an outpouring of His Spirit so that I could truly know that what I am doing here is making a difference in the lives of others.  The Lord has truly responded to my prayer in both ways. I have truly felt an outpouring of the Spirit today.

I had the opportunity tonight of viewing the women’s session of General Conference that was broadcast last night.  I translated it in Hmong for our Hmong sisters that attended the Relief Society meeting tonight.  There is definitely something special about times that women in the church meet together.  There just seems to be a natural outpouring of the Spirit.  It was truly a choice experience to be able to attend that meeting tonight.

I have not be aching or homesick at all tonight.  I have just felt really good all day.  i don’t know why it has been so long since I have heard from Kristin, but I hope that I have not done something to hurt her.  i do know that everything will be all right and that I love her.  I guess that that is what really matters. I sure do miss her though.

9/14-9/21/1991

Sept 14, 1991

Today was just one of those days.  After our first appointment this morning, I rode over a piece of glass on my bike.  The only problem was that this was no ordinary piece of glass.  This piece of glass cut a hole 1/2” long in both my tire and inner tube. After a long walk home, I tried patching both the tube and tire.  The only problem was that the hole was so big that it would not seal.  That basically shot our afternoon.

We managed to borrow a car for this evening so that we could get some stuff done.  We ran into Elder and Sister Hanks tonight. They have served two missions here in Stockton with the Hmong people.  They cam back this week for a visit.  It was really fun to talk to them. Elder Hanks told me how impressed they were with the baptisms that were taking place.  It’s nice to have someone notice what you’re doing.

We also went tonight and taught Yang Seng Vang’s son and daughter.  We really tried to teach them about why it was so important to learn to pray and have the Holy Ghost be with us. I really love to teach the gospel.  It si a wonderful experience to be able to teach the gospel to someone and have their minds light up with the Light of C

Christ when they recognize the truth.  i love being a missionary!

Sept 15, 1991

Well,church attendance today was really bad.  I don’t know why, but it was really low.  I guess that some days just go like that.  Oh well——

Txhim Vaj came to church today.  He is going to be baptized on Saturday.  I am really looking forward to that.  It doesn’t seem to matter how close together they are, baptisms are always too far apart.  Txhim will be the first adult Hmong person that Elder Taylor will have seen get baptized on his whole mission.  I have really been blessed on my mission to have the opportunity to see a lot of people get baptized.  I’m not too sure why the Lord has allowed that.  Maybe it’s because He realized that I am weak and get discouraged easily.  I have really learned that if I wholeheartedly seek to fulfill a righteous desire, the Lord will bless me and enable me to fulfill that desire.  it is hard to believe that time is going by so fast.  Although I have good days and bad days, the time is just flying by me.  I wish most of the time that I could slow it down.

Pao Vanf told me today that he wanted to be sure and get a picture of me before I get transferred because I have “helped him so much.”  He is the guy who was contemplating suicide 6 months ago because of his epilepsy.  I have spent a lot of time with him teaching him the gospel and taking him to see doctors.  His epilepsy seems to be under control now, he is very happy, he has obtained a job, and he has obtained a testimony.  He truly knows that god lives and he is not afraid to tell anyone about it.  What a wonderful thing!

SEPT 17, 1991

Well, we sure didn’t accomplish much today.  Due to the fact that we spent most of our P-day teaching people, we spent part of today finishing up our P-day.  I made a tape for Kristin, boxed up a bunch of stuff, and sent all of it to her.

This morning was spent teaching Sister Child how to use the computer at church.  We spent a lot of time helping them, but I hope that now they will be able to work on getting the records in the branch straightened our some more.  What a mess they are!  We worked on it for a while today too.

Tonight I totally forgot about our scripture study class at the church!  I can’t believe it.  Apparently we had more people there than ever.  The only problem was that no teachers showed up! Dang!  I con’t believe I forgot that!! Shoot!

I got two letter from Kristin today as well as a whole bunch of pictures.  She is the greets.  I really miss her a lot.  We are kind of having a hard time being close right now.  It seems like it is a constant struggle for us to be as close as we would like to be. I am sure that the closeness will come, it will just take a little bit of time.  I can’t wait to be with her again . I  love her with all that is in me, and I am really trying to learn to be the kind of man that I need to be in order to fulfill her every desire. The lord has really helped me to make a lot of the necessary changes but there are still a lot more changes that I must make in myself.  

(Mom: on of the reason’s they were having problems being close was that Kristin was not doing what she was supposed to be doing.  They were in different places spiritually and that hampered closeness.  It is very important that you both are spiritually trying to become together.  Dating Kristin was a refining thing for Dad.  He had to learn to forgive and forgive again.  He did a lot of giving in the relationship.  It helped him to learn to be selfless.  This created the man who was your dad and my husband.  Without this experience… as hard as it was…. your dad would not have learned these lessons.  Thus we see why we must at times go through difficult situations and struggle in relationships as the Lord wants us to learn and grow and become someone better for something better.  In these times we simply have to trust Him and his plan and that it will all work out in the end. )

Sept 18, 1991

Today was Zone Conference

The Lord’s law of discipline: D&C 95 (Save this for parenting)

1. Discipline must be motivated by love for the person being discipline, not Anger!

2.  Discipline must be administered to improve the one we are dealing with, not as a boost to one’s own ego

3. Provide a way for escape for the person involved.

a. ie. don’t slam the lid on the cookie jar while their hand is still in it

b. use humor to diffuse the situation

c. Provide time for them to think about things before discussing the problem (1-2 hours- not overnight)

4. Define the problem clearly

5. Define why it is a problem or what was expected.

6. Help them solve the problem.

President Bott also talked about how if we will abide by the council of the living prophet, the Lord will disperse the powers of darkness before us.  He then said  that it would truly be amazing to us to see how many people had literally plotted against our lives as missionaries.  The spirit bore very strong witness to me that many people had plotted against my life, but that the Lord had foiled their attempts.  The Lord is constantly mindful of me as his servant.

I had an interview with one of the A.P’s, Elder Tomblin.  I told him about the problems that Elder Taylor and I have been having.  He said that if neither of us get transferred that I should lovingly and prayerfully let Elder Taylor know exactly what the problem is with his language and teaching skills. 

Sept 19, 1991

I went on team-ups all day today with one of the English Elders, Elder Clayson.  Elder Taylor spent the day with Elder Larsen.  I was hoping that the more time Elder Taylor spends on his own, the faster his language skills will increase. He had kind of a tough day with getting in contact with people, but I hope it helped him some.

Have you ever heard a child of God offer his or her first uttered prayer?  They really do it “right.”  They rarely say what is really in their hearts, but there is really something three.  Something that I can not explain.  Without fail, every time I hear someone, especially a young child, offer his first prayer, my eyes fill with tears, the Spirit fills my soul, and I am reassured that what I am doing as a missionary is what the Lord would have me to do.  There is no better felling on earth that that which I have when I hear a child speak to his Father for the first time since his earthly probation began.  What a choice experience!!!!

I got a big package today filled with all kinds of goodies from Kristin.  I really miss her but am constantly reassured that what we are doing is right.  i wish that I could somehow show her how much I love her.  She is the best!!!!

Sept 20, 1991

Today was really a good day. Since we were on bikes, Cheng Moua drove us around all day. He is such a cool guy.  We managed to teach quite a few discussions today, so that was nice.  We taught the 6th discussion to Txhim Vaj today.  His baptism is scheduled for tomorrow at noon.  I am really excited fro that.  i am kind of nervous about transfers this month. One half of me feels like it is time for me to move on, and the other half wants to stay here forever.  I guess I will just have to wait until Wednesday morning to find out what the Lord has in mind. 

Her Thao, the woman whose kids we were going to baptize next week, went and got married to her sister’s husband. Dang it!  Anyway, that means that she has to be excommunicated.  That is going to make it kind of tough to baptize her kids.  Darn it!

2 experiences from yesterday-

1.Going to the hospital with Elder clayson and Elking in on his investigator while she was sitting on the toilet!

2. Little 3 year old girl asking an older man, “Why don’t you have a lot of hair?”

Sept 21, 1991

Baptisms are the best!  i love seeing people get baptized.  Although the world around took no note, I saw a man receive the key to the gates of Heaven.  What a wondrous event to behold!  Txhim’s baptism was great!  Elder Taylor did a good job baptizing him.  The only thing that he forgot to do was to let him have time to plug his nose.  It was so cool.  It struck e today how stingily unaware of such a wondrous event the people of Stockton were today.  The Lord’s work is going forth just as He would have it go,  he is orchestrating each small act in a truly masterful way.  The world need not take note in order for the work of God to go forth.  It will go forth.

9/6-9/13/1991

           

Sept 6, 1991

Today was kind of a frustrating day.  We saw a lot of people, but we didn’t have a chance to teach very much.  A lot of the people that we went to teach weren’t home or weren’t free.  We were able to talk to Tsee Vang.  He told us that we could schedule a baptism for him on the 21st.  He said that it was a tentative thing, but that he would work toward it.  I really hope that he can stick to it.

Things with Elder Taylor are going well.  i just wish that he would take a little control of what we are doing.  When we run out of appointments, he will simply sit down and read until I come up with something else to do.

Sept 8, 1991

Grandpa Hansen called me last night from Reno, Nevada to ask if he could come and visit.  I talk to the zone leaders and they called the AP’s and said that it would be okay.  So tonight they came to see me!  It was so good to see them.  It was kind of a relief for me to see that we could still sit down and talk just like before my mission.  It really made me feel a lot less tension about what it will be like when I get home.  Grandpa and Grandma are both doing really well.  They look just great. I still wish that I could be just like Grandpa.  He has always been such a tole model for me.  He and Grandma are seriously considering serving a mission.  I wish they would hurry up and do it.  I think that they would absolutely love that.

Church today was kind of discouraging.  We didn’t get very many people out to church at all.  i don’t really know why, but I guess it was just one of those weeks.

I was really touched today to see some of the real changes that have taken place in some of the members with whom I have been working closely. Tsee has really solidified his decision to be baptized.  I am really excited to see him take that step.  We still have a lot of teaching to do with him, but definite progress is being made.

I feel quite empty inside now that G&G have gone.  I’m not to sure why.  I guess it’s just a matter of being kho siab.

Sept 10, 1991

Well, I went on team-ups with Elder crook today.  He is working with the Lao people and has been out of the MTC for two months.  His Lao is not very good at all, so today was kind of a chance for him to practice without his senior comp around to help him.  The only problem was that he kept trying to speak English to them instead of Lao.  Anyway, as the day went on, he relaxed a little and started to do quite a bit better.

        My companion went  with Elder Bedell, the Zone Leader.  In talking with Elder Badell tonight, my comp has committed to make some changes, and I hope he will. I have really been struggling with what to do to help my comp in the best way.  Anyway, I think that the best way for me to really help him is to kind of give him the space to change.  I think that I also need to push him into the forefront more and let him struggle a little on his own.

I can tell right now that one of the hardest things for me to do as a husband and parent is going to be knowing how much help to give my wife and my children and how much to let them learn on their own.  I guess that my relationships with my companions are helping me to leaner some important lessons about fatherhood.  I just hope that I can learn all of the things that I need to in time for me to be a good husband and father.

Sept 11, 1991

Today was kind of a slow day for missionary work.  We had a really hard time finding anyone at home.  All of the Hmong men have started to learn how to speak English, so it is kind of hard to catch them at home.

We did mange to catch a few people at home today.  Her Thao is a lady we met the other day.  She just moved up here from Fresno.  She was baptized a number of years ago, but has been inactive for a long time.  Her husband died recently, leaving her with 9 kids and one on the way.  Anyway, we are tacking them, and they are extremely eager to learn.  There are 4 children of baptismal age that we plan to baptize on the 28th of this month.  I hope that all will go according to schedule. 

Sept 12, 1991

We taught quite a few discussions today.  We picked up a really good family this morning.  They are the one that we helped move last week.  Anyway, we went this morig and taught them a first discussion.  It went really well.  They are really a neat family.  Hopefully we can baptize them sometime soon.  I really love what I am doing here.  I just wish that I wouldn’t get so homesick.  I got a letter from home today.  It sounds as though all is well there  I also heard from Eric.  He is absolutely loving life at BYU.

Sept 13, 1991

Today was surely a long day. It was Elder taylor’s first experience at planning a day by himself.  It didn’t go so well. In fact, the only people we saw today were the people that I scheduled appointments with earlier in the week.  i guess that planning a day’s worth of missionary work takes a little more practice than I had realized. That means that Elder Taylor will just have to keep practicing. I think that we will try alternating every other day. We’ll just have to see how it goes.

I got a letter from Kristin today. She is really doing well, She has really got things straight in her mind as far as what she wants out of the rest of her life and how she’s going to get it.  She is really a wonderful girl. I can’t wait to see her! I am excited about the nest time I see her, but I am also somewhat apprehensive about what the next year has in store.  have you ever wanted something so bad for so long that when you were about to get it you were scared to actually have it?  That’s how I felt before college, before my first date with Kristin, before my mission, and now I feel that way about marrying Kristin. I’m scared.  i guess I need to say a prayer and make sure that we are on the right track and then just go for it.  That’s what I will do.

8/30-9/5/1991

Aug 31, 1991

Yesterday was kind of a discouraging day.  It seemed like it took all day to get absolutely nothing done.  We did manage to get some baptismal interviews done, as well as taking Elder and Sister Child around.  It was really fun to see them meet their very first Hmong people.  It was amazing to see the instant bond of friendship  That occurs the very moment that they meet a Hmong person.  There is something very special about that couple that I can’t really explain.  I am really excited to spend the nest week really showing them around and getting them used to the hmong people.

I have really had a hard time keeping my spirits up lately.  It just seems like we have accomplished so little lately.  I don’t know for sure how we can pick things up, but we surely need to do something soon.

It seems as though the minute things pick up, I become satisfied and things kind of plateau.

It just seems like we have been stuck on one plateau for way too long.  I’m not exactly sure what we’ll have to do to get off of that flat spot, but we’ll do it.

The baptism today was the greatest!! We ended up having 7 children of record baptisms along with 2 converts 9Nom Choj’s two boys, Xiong and Thao Vang)  IT was awesome!  It has really been a long time since I got to perform the actual ordinance of baptizing someone. I wish that Nom Choj and his wife could have been baptized at the same time, but I guess Brother Dolberg will figure all of that our sooner or later.  I also had the opportunity to confirm a lot of them.  Some of those children have truly marvelous things in store for them.  It is truly amazing to me the strength the some of those children’s spirits have.  It was a strength that I felt immediately when placing my hands on their heads. 

We spent most of the rest of the day taking the childs around to meet our members.  They are truly great people.  We had the opportunity to teach Yang Pao Vang how to administer to his son who had the children pox. It is always such a rewarding experience to see a man learn how to use the priesthood to bless the lies of his family.

Today has been very tiring but it has truly been a spiritual feast.  Days like today are the ones that just seem to make being a missionary worth while.

Sept 1, 1991

I can’t believe that another month has gone by so soon.  However, August did seem to last a lot longer than June or July.  I don’t know why, but some months just seem to go by far faster than others.

Today was a pretty good day.  We got to an awful lot of people today for a Sunday, especially a fast Sunday, especially a fast Sunday.  However, it just didn’t work out for us to teach any discussions to anyone.

Church went well today.  We did not have as many priesthood holders there as I would have like to see, but we had a fairly large number of people there,  I’m not sure what we need to do to get the men to come more often, but I wish we could figure out something to help them.

Tonight we nearly ran out of gas.  The car stalled a number of times on the way  home.  Each time it restarted Heavenly Father truly hears and answers prayers.

Pao Vang bore his testimony today in church. He is the epileptic boy who I have been helping get treatment. Anyway, his testimony was one of the strongest that I have ever seen born.  He told the story of his struggle with epilepsy and the help that the Lord had given him.  It was really neat to hear him and feel the strength of the Spirit.  his entire countenance has changed in the last four months.

Sept 4, 1991

Well, it has been a few days since I have written i this journal.  Things are going better this week than last.  We have been very busy.  I have been concentration on really planning our days better and it has been helping a lot. I felt for a while like Elder Taylor really wanted more say in what we did.  I tried to let him have more say, but I found that he never said much.  The problem was that he really didn’t mind the way that it was.  After a long talk, I realized that it just didn’t matter much to him what we did.  i had assumed that he was being so quiet and non-interested because he was upset or something. It turns out that he wasn’t upset, he just kind of goes with the flow. I guess that’s all right.  I just wish that he would try to take a more active roll in what we are doing.  

Today we went back to see Tsee vang.  We taught him part of a  1st discussion.  Agter that, I really tried to explain to him why it was that we teach people, why it is os important.  he committed to really pray about baptism and make a decision. He knows already that the church is true, the Book of Mormon is true, and prophets exist.  He has an excellent understanding of the priesthood and priesthood authority.  He even told us that he knew that us telling him to be baptized was no different than Jesus christ telling him to be baptized because we had been called of God.  i hope and pray that he can he can have the strength to make the commitments that he needs to make.

8/23-8/29/1991

August 24, 1991

Well, we have spent the last two nights at the hospital translating for Meng Lee.  He had to have abdominal surgery.  Anyway, it took a few (a lot) hours in the hospital.  My comp has been sick all day, so we haven’t accomplished much today.  I’m really tired and going to bed.

Aug 26, 1991

Well, we spent all morning 8-noon at the hospital translating for people.  While I was there, the guy that did the ultra-sound was an inactive member.  He expressed a desire to come back to church and asked that we come visit him.

After we went to the hospital, I came home and wrote a bunch of letters.  i also made Kristin a tape.  It had been quite a while since I made her a tape.  I feel pretty good about things tonight.  I just hope that we can make some progress with some of our investigators.  I got some letters from Kristin today.  She seems to be doing really well.  She is really happy to be teaching in Heber.  I really miss that girl.

I also go a letter from dad.  He is doing well too. He is somewhat concerned about my knees.  My family really loves me a lot.  That always helps.

Aug 27, 1991

Well, today was a pretty good day.  however, I don’t seem to feel like we made a lot of progress.  We went to D.D.M. this morning, after which we went to help Yang Seng Vanf’s wife, Neng, at the doctor’s office.  She ended up being admitted to the hospital.  We spent most of the day with her there.  I had the opportunity of watching the give her a C.T. scan.  It was pretty interesting. I still don’t know if I like the ideas of being a radiologist or not.  It would be a job with great hours, great pay, but very little contact with patients.  I’m not sure if I would like that or not.  I think I would like more contact with my patients I certainly have plenty of time to make that decision, 7.5 years, so I guess I won’t witty about it much today.  Anyway, it was kind of near to see the C.T. scan.

After that, we taught a scripture study class at church.  It was absolutely amazing to me that very few of them understand the apostasy.  The one with the best understanding was Kia Her,  Cheng Moua’s wife, but even her understanding was not as food as I had hoped.  i think they all understand now, I just hope they can remember- the Holy Ghost will help with that.

Nom Choj got a job today.  I hope it won’t interfere with his kids’ baptism.

Aug 28, 1991

Bike days- I love ‘em when they go well, I abhor them when they don’t.  My comp had more problems with his bike today.  The first thing that happened was that his chain broke.  Then, walking to the bike shop, he walked it through a few thorn bushes.  That made for a bad day for his bike.

This morning, we got called by the hospital to come and translate for Neng Her.  I got to watch the radiologist drain the infection in her kidney.  It was really neat.  I didn’t know that radiologists got to do minor surgeries like that.  The doctor, surgeries like that.  The doctor, Dr. Terry, told me that during his residency, he was on call one night of every three weeks.  That ain’t too bad!!

I received letters today from Mr Jacobson and from Kristin.  i was surprised to hear from Jake.  He is doing pretty well.  he wants me to go to St Johns with him next summer to do some scuba diving.  That would be awesome!  I don’t know how it will work into my schedule, but it would be fun.

We taught another discussion to Mon choj’s family today.  i’m still not sure exactly when we’ll baptize those kids.  Probably this Saturday.  That will definitely be great!  I can’t wait!

Aug 29, 1991

Today was really a great day.  We taught three discussions today, saw a number of our members, and helped the Childs move in.  Elder and Sister Child are the best !  I am so glad to have them here.  They will be such an asset to our branch.  I am really excited about it.

I found out today that Elder Jasperson was taken out of the Hmong program today.  I feel really sorry for him.  I don’t know anything else about it, only that he was transferred to an English ward.  I feel really sorry for him. but I am sure that President Bott is doing what he things is best.  I am also sure that President Bott received inspiration on the matter.  I hope that Elder Jasperson can learn what he needs to learn in order to avoid problems like this in the future.

We finished the discussions with Mon Choj’s two sons today who will be baptized Saturday.  brother Dolberg still has not straightened out the situation with Nom Choj’s records.  I really don’t know what he plans to do about it.  I just hope that he makes some kind of a decision soon.

8/16-8/22/1991

Aug 16, 1991

Well, today was another wonderful day on bikes.  I really tried to fools President’s counsel in using wisdom with my knees.  As a result, we did not spend a gull 12 hours proselyting today.  We spend some time finding some new families to teach.  My legs are really sore.  I came home fro working today and took a hot shower, after which I put icy-hot analgesic rub on my knees.  The only problem is that it didn’t seem to help much.  I wish that I could disconnect my knees from my brain and fo to sleep at night.  I can tell all ready that it is going to be a long night.

I have learned lately that the Lord prepares and sets people up for their entire lives so that they will be able to accept the gospel.  It is not simply a matter of chance.  Those people who have accepted the gospel and been converted unto the Lord have been prepared for a lifetime to hear the gospel.

My job is to find those people.  I love my job!

I got a letter from Jennie today.  She is really turning into quite a young lady.  I really miss my family I hate when my knees hurt.  I feel like it’s not fair.  I hope that I can soon learn what the Lord wants me to so that my knees could quit hurting

Aug 17, 1991

Wow!  I can hardly believe that another week had passed.  One at a time, the weeks are just flying by.  Every week seems to go by faster than the one before.

Today was a pretty good day.  We were able to teach four discussions and work with quite a few people in addition to those four families Kao Lee and his wife have decided not to be baptized on the thirty- first.  They want to wait and learn some more before they decide.  We’ll just have to keep working with them and see how things turn out.

I got a letter and a card from Kristin today.  As a right now, she is in Heber, Arizona unpacking.  I am so glad to have her out of Provo that I can’t believe it.  Now she can write to me and I can send her stuff without her feeling like she is being judged by everyone around her.  Besides that, I am over joyed to have her away from all of the guys at BYU.  I am really happy for her.  She set a goal to be done with school and get a job and she did it.  I think that is super.

I tried this morning to teach Elder taylor how to do the priesthood ordinances in Hmong, but he thought he all ready knew the best possible way.  Even though the way he is doing it is not even doctrinally correct, he refused to let me help him.  I sure wish that he would let me help him leaner Hmong, but that is his business.

Aug 18, 1991

Once again out attendance in sacrament meeting was up.  The worst part about today is that Zeb Muas and his wife did not come to church.  Because of that, we had to go and see them and tell them to call us when they were ready to study.  I absolutely hate dropping investigators.  I don’t know what that families deal is.  They certainly don’t seem to be too excited about doing anything, They just don’t have enough motivation to do much of anything, including cleaning their apartment.  I guess that when they feel a really need for the gospel, that they will come to church.

During priesthood, we planned a big social for Saturday.  It should be a really good opportunity for us to invite a lot of members as well as nonmembers out to socialize with the active members.  It should really be fun too.

I know that the Book of Mormon is true.  I know that the church is true.  I know that Jospeh Smith, Jr.  was a prophet of God, that Ezra T. Benson is a prophet of God, that Jesus Christ is my personal Savior and redeemer, that I can, one day, return to live with Him and my Heavenly Father, that through temple ordinances families can be together forever, that no greater happiness comes in this life than that of serving the Lord, and that God loves me.  I know that my Redeemer lives.  I write this in the name of Jesus Chirst, Amen.

August 20, 1991

Well, today was one of those days that we did not even get a chance to sit down.  We ran from one house to the next until I thought that I would die.  My knees are feeling much better.  The medicine that Dr.  Agarwal sent me did wonders for me.  I’m not saying that they don’t hurt anymore, but I am saying that they feel much better.  I would imagine that in a few weeks I will be over the whole things.

Today we ran into Nom Choj  It wouldn’t have been that big of a deal, but he head an unlit cigarette in his mouth.  He never did light it the whole time we were there.  Afterwards (about an hour later)  We showed up at his house and taught he and his family a discussion on the word of wisdom.  He said he would live it.  I felt like it was best not to confront him on the subject right then, but in a few days,  I think I’ll pull him off to the side and talk to him about it.  His wife is still not too big on the idea of being rebaptized, but she helped us fill out the recommends for her family’s baptism, so I guess that she is feeling somewhat better about it.

We really had a busy day.  I love to be missionary in the service of my Father in Heaven.  There is not anything else in the world that I would rather be doing.

August 20, 1991

Dear President Bott,

In absence of a "president's letter" form I am using this paper.  Things here in Stockton are going pretty well.  I called my surgeon at home to talk with him about my knees.  He had since sent out both my  records and some medication.  The medication had helped me a great deal.  I do not think it will be necessary for me to see a doctor here for quite some time.  My doctor says that in view of the fact that multiple surgeries have been performed on both of my knees, it is very probable that I have arthritis.  The medication which he sent has been very effective.

Things with Elder Taylor are going well.  During this past week, I have not offered any suggestions for improvements with this language.  That seems to be fine with him, but there are many  things that I feel I could help him with. What is my role supposed to be? Am I supposed to try to help him?  If I'm not, that's fine, but if I am, then I need to come up with some way to help him without making him feel a need to be defensive.  Thus far, I have failed miserably at that.  We get along great.  I just don't seem to have been able to come up with an effective way to offer advice concerning his reaching or language.  I have so much to learn.  Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever learn all that I need to.

We have some baptisms coming up on the 31st so we are definitely looking forward to that.

President, you might think this is a strange request, but I would like the chance to be companions with Elder Jasperson again before he goes home.  This may not be possible but if it is, I feel that I could learn a lot from him.

Thank you for all that you do for me, and please let me know if you have any advice for me.

Love, Scott Clarke

In reference to helping the Elders that you serve with, remember that "Caring creates faith" and unconditionally loving someone is the only way to influence them.  We show forth love and encourage them and that breaks down walls.  When walls are down then our spirits can communicate spirit to spirit through the Holy Ghost.  If you are aligned with you will with the Savior, then the conduit is open from Him to you.  If you love who you serve then it goes from Him through you to them.  You will be given the 'words of Christ' to speak and that will touch their heart.  Patience, love and persistence is required as we pray for guidance and listen to the spirit and go on the Lord's timing and according to his will.

Dad has a great example of humbly and appropriately presenting his desires to His mission president.  It is a great example for you to follow with both your leadership and in your prayers.

August 21, 1991

We are getting a set of couple missionaries here this mouth to work in our branch!!  I am so glad about that!  This branch needs someone with some song ability to teach President Young and the other Hmong men how to really be organized leaders.  I am so excited.  I really hope that the new couple had some go-get-‘em and a love for the hmong people.  i hope that all goes well for them here in Stockton.

Our day was kind of a slow one, but that’s all right I guess.  We spent about 5 hours at the church entering all of the changes into the computer for the membership list.  Our records are the worst.  There are just more mistakes in the branch records than could possibly be imagined.  Anyway, they are now in somewhat better shape, but we still have a long way to go.  I hope that the new couple will be able to help with that.

We were not able to contact any of our investigators today, so we spent some time checking up on referrals, but we were unable to find anyone who wanted to learn.

The condition of my knees continues to improve.  i am so grateful to the Lord for removing that obstacle to my work (for the time being.)  I don’t know what the future holds for my knees or my life, but I hope and pray that the Lord’s will might be done.

August 22, 1991

Well, we spent the greater part of out day today helping Mai Vang find and purchase insurance for her car i really hate doing stuff like that, but we have to take care of our members, especially those who do often go out of their way to help us.

Tonight we went down to Farmington to straighten out some more of our records mess.  After that, we spent some time playing dodge ball with a bunch of the children there.  It was really fun.  I’m not too sure why, but my comp has yet to play any games with any of the kids.  He won’t even play catch with them.  i hope that he doesn’t think that missionaries are “above” that or something.  Even the prophet Joseph Smith used to spend time wrestling with the kids.  maybe I’ll talk to him about it.

Nom Choj’s wife is feeling some what better about being rebaptized.  I hope that the Lord will see fit to help her through this.  We also need to get a firmer word of wisdom commitment from her husband.  I sure hope that all of this will pull together.

I got a letter from Grandpa Hansen today.  My mom told him about my knees, as if he doesn’t have enough things to worry about.  Anyway, it way good to hear from him.  I also heard from Eric today.  He is really getting excited about school (BYU) coming up.  I’m excited for him too.

8/9-8/15/1991

Aug 9, 1991

Zone conference was this morning. I absolutely love to hear President Bott talk.  The Spirit is always there when he talks. For that reason, it is always enjoyable.  He talked to us about hypocrisy and how we as missionaries needed to avoid it.  Also, one of the AP’s talked about the need that each church member has to struggle and fight for a testimony every day.  No one is just granted a strong enough testimony to make it through this life to the Celestial Kingdom.  We must all struggle for and fight for out testimonies of the gospel.  i need to spend some more effort in my own struggle.

When I got back today, there was a ton of mail in my mailbox.  I got a letter from Mom, Dad, Brett and Kristin.  I also got some pictures from Kristin.  It was so good to hear from everyone.  Things at home are going well. Apparently they are progressing fairly well on the repair from the water damage.  Kristin has found a place to stay in Heber and will move there one week from today.  i can’t tell what has been going on with her lately.  i get the felling that she hasn’t exactly been waiting faithfully for me to come home.  I just hate that!  I really don’t know if things will ever work out or not.  The more times she does that, the less I feel it can ever be fixed.  I can’t waste my time worrying about it now.  I will just have to wait until I get home to see what happens.

Aug 10, 1991

Well, what else is new?  We had one heck of a time ever seeing anyone today.  I’m not sure exactly why it is that we have had such a difficult time getting with our investigators, but it has really been hard.  Tonight we went to see Kao Lee.  It was so good to see that his prayers had bee answered.  he know that Joseph Smith is a prophet. We did not challenge him for baptism because his wife didn’t know for sure if she had been answered yet or not.  i surely hope that they will come to church tomorrow.  I really hope that we will be able to get some people ready to be baptized soon.  It has been a long time since someone was baptized here.  That definitely makes for some long months in the mission field.  I hope that the Lord will soon let us reap some of the fruits of our efforts.  it will all have to be done in the Lord’s due time.  That is the hardest thing for me to remember.

I have been making a conscious effort to pray always today.  I can truly say that I have felt a real difference in the spirit I have felt throughout the day.

Knees still bother ing me- considering talking to preside t about seeing and orthopedic  surgeon.

Aug 11, 1991

Today at church was awesome!  We had more people show up at church today than we have had since I arrived in Stockton.  The two hours before church was spent calling every single person on our members list.  Our church records are a mess.  One of the numbers listed for out members is the telephone number for the L.D.S. employment center!  Anyway it looks as if we will have to spend quite a bit more time getting everything straightened out.  We had two Melchezidek priesthood holders come today for the first time since I’ve been in Stockton.  It was great!!!

Tonight I spoke at the fireside for the youth of the Hmong and Lao branches.  i spoke on honesty.  It went pretty well, but it was hard to get them to participate very much.  However, after the closing prayer, I talked to the hmong kids about temple marriage and importance of it.  IT was great!  I really enjoyed that.  We talked about the trade-off  that people make by not going to the temple.  I have wanted  a chance like that since my mission started.

Also, today Kao Lee and his wife and his mother came to church. That was awesome too!

The Lord is really blessing us here.  I hope ad pray that he will continue to do so.  i finished the New Testament today and receive a strong witness of it truthfulness.

Aug 13, 1991

We rode our fetching bikes all over this city today.  my left knee hurts bad enough that it is really starting to scare me a lot.  I don’t know what to do about it.  President Bott will be here tomorrow morning for apartment inspections.  i think that I will ask him to give me a blessing.  I’ve bee trying to ignore it or a long time, but it is really starting to get to me a lot.  i’ll take to President about it tomorrow .

We went down to Nom Choj Vaj’s house tonight with President Yang.  We scheduled a baptismal date for them, August 31.  President Yang did really well at working with them.  i always like to watch how the native Hmong church leaders work with the Hmong people.  I always learn so much from that.

I received a letter from Grandpa Hansen today.  It always makes me feel good to hear from he and Grandma.  Grandma couldn’t write this time because the arthritis in her hand is pretty bad.  Anyway, it was sure good to hear from them.

This morning, right after Z.D.M., we went to see Kao Lee and his wife.  We had an awesome discussion, one of the best of my mission.  We challenged them to be baptized on the 31at also.  I really hope and pray that their hearts will be open to the answers that they receive when they pray.

The work is going forward.

August 15, 1991

well, I talked to President Bott yesterday about my knees.  Afterwards, he gave me a blessing.  It was really a neat blessing.  he told me that no matter what is wrong with my knees, the problem would not be something that I took home with me.

After talking with my parents, I called Dr. Agarwal back in Omaha. He told me that since I was a missionary he didn’t want me to spend any money.  As a result, he is mailing me 50 tablets of medicine for my knees.  I feel a lot better about my knees.  Dr. Agarwal made me feel like not matter what was wrong, he could take care of it.  Between the blessing I got and talking to Dr. Agarwal, I;m not even worried about my knees any more.  

I heard from Kristin today.  She is still feeling pretty guilty about something, but she is sure excited to be graduated and out of school.

It was kind of fun to get to talk to my parents yesterday and this morning.  Everything at hoe seems to be going well.  I am quite looking forward to getting to see all of my family members again.  That is going to be great!

We have been challenging and teaching people for two days straight.  hopefully, we will be able to have some people be ready to be baptized on the 31st of this month.  I am very excited about that.  Well, it’s time for bed.

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