6/7/1991-6/13/1991

June 7, 1991

Moroni 10:6- All good things acknowledge and prove the Christ lives.  Christ is the source of all good things.  The reason that we seek after all good things (Art of faith 13) is to allow ourselves to gain stronger witnesses of Jesus Christ.  There is not good thing that would contradict the existence of Christ or the commandments given us of Christ.  If something persuades us to break the commandments, then it can not be good.

7: Everyone has the opportunity to know by the power of the holy Ghost that Christ lives.  However, there are many who deny the power of God by saying that God either does not answer prayers, or they deny the answer once they receive it.  He worth miracles among us according to the faith which we have.  Finally, God is unchanging.  He works the same miracles among us now as He has in the past if we will only have faith.

8:  We must not deny the gifts of the Spirit.  They are manifested unto men so that men might profit by them, not profit temporally, but spiritually.  there are many gifts of the Spirit.  Each faithful member of the church has one or more of these gifts developed to a greater or lesser extent.  Each of us has a gift of the Spirit.  One gift does not make a person any better or worse than another all gifts come from God.

I would have to admit that today was not the hardest working day of my life.  i am so tired that I simply can not catch up between 10:30pm and 6:00 am  We spent the evening at Nopparat and Tu’s house.  They taught us how to make egg rolls.  It was pretty fun.  I guess we did get quite a bit done today.  We taught two discussions, to Cheng Mous and his family and to Ze Moua and his wife.  Ze Moua committed to be baptized on the 19th of this month.  Anyway, we also taught a 2nd new member discussion to Nopparat.  All in all, it was a fairly productive day.  I am just really tired I guess.  Maybe we’ll try not to have any appointments until after 6:00 p.m. this P-day.

June 8, 1991

Verse 9:  Some have a spiritual gift to be able to teach on a higher plain than knowledge.  They are able to relay deep thoughts and ideas through the power of the Spirit.  This is something that I have been allowed to do many times on my mission.

10:  Others are given the ability to teach logically.  The Holy Ghost can enlighten the minds of the listener so that the knowledge that the teacher has can be conveyed to the learner, line upon line, precept on precept.  Birth of the gifts in 9 & 10 are mentioned in my patriarchal blessing and are gifts that I have been blessed to use on my mission.

-President Bott just called on the phone to tell us that Elder Jasperson had been kicked out of the Hmong program in Fresno.

11: Some people are blessed with exceeding faith.  This is a gift which I have really strived to develop over the past year, but I still have a long way to go.  This is one gift that Krisitin possesses to an amazing extent.  The gift of healing is a gift that I have.  I need to continue to learn more about it, and how to discern when to use this gift.  I’ve also received a crash course on when to use it and not use it in the last month.

The use of these gifts is not limited only to my mission. (will strive to develop my spiritual gift throughout m life and the eternities.

So far every bike area that I have been in has had at least on day that has been devoted to my comp’s bike repairs.  Today was that day.  elder Barton got a flat tire at about 1:30.  We walked the bikes home, went to the bike shop to buy him a new inner tube, and walked back to the apartment.  The new inevitable had a hole in it!!  To make a long story short, we caught rides the rest of the day and forgot about bikes.

This afternoon, Tu & Nopparat had a party that they invited us to. Al of the Hmong ministers from the other church (CMA) were there.  They said a prayer for Tu to thank God for healing him, during which everyone was chanting and carrying on.  It made Tu & Noppart really nervous.

After the got done praying, Tu turned around and asked me to give him a blessing.  While we were waiting for a chair, I explained to everyone about the Priesthood, Joseph Smith, blessings and Christ giving the priesthood to His apostles.  After that, I told them of the importance of being reverent and asked them all to please be quiet while we blessed him.  The difference in the way that room felt during their prayers compared to our blessing was unreal.  it was amazing!  Several of the people there were noticeably touched.  Afterwards, Nopparat told me that they had wanted to shoe all of the others the right way to worship God.  By the way, the reason the other church was there was that the party was a Tu’s sister’s house.  She is a born again Christian. 

June 9, 1991

  Moroni 10:12-  Mighty miracles are done by small means.  There are many members of the church that have performed mighty miracles.  I have bee very blessed in this area also.  I can not believe how often the Lord has blessed me with the gifts listed here.  There are many who have this gift to a far greater extent than I , yet I feel I have acted in a way that allowed me to be an instrument in the Lord’s hands.  There have also been times that I have prevented myself, through my actions, from being worthy of this.

13:  The spirit of prophesy is the means by which a testimony is received.

KEY- When we act by the direction of the Holy Spirit, it is possible for us to have many of there gifts.  I have never before realized how many of these gifts I have been able to and blessed to develop on my mission.  It is amazing to me! It is also very humbling.

14: I have never knowingly beheld an angel. However, I know that there are many times in my life that angels have ministered unto me and helped me through the hard times.

15: The gift of tongues has been so strongly manifested to me on my mission.

The Spirit just bore witness to me of the abundance of these blessings in my life.  It is so humbling and comforting to realize how blessed I have been I am so unworthy of these blessings.

Chia yang came to church today!  It was so cool!  He talked to our Branch Presidency for about 15 minutes after church.  He is really a neat guy.  He brought his wife and kids and everything.  he is really a great guy.  i hope and pray that his family will let him be baptized.

We tired to see a number of people today, but Nrucas Hawj was the only one home.  We taught him a second discussion, expressed to him the importance of this whole thing, and asked him to pray about it.  I really hope that he can get a grip on it.  he knows the scriptures better than any Hmong man that I have ever met.  He all ready has an intellectual testimony of the gospel, but without the spiritual side of a testimony.  the intellectual side does absolutely no good.  It is the spiritual witness tha brings about the change of heart that the people of King Benjamin experienced that causes men to desire to keep the commandments (Mosiah 5:3)

I love my mission with all of my heart.  This will be the foundation for the experience that I need to be a righteous and successful father and priesthood holder and husband 9not in that order) in Zion.  What an opportunity!

June 10, 1991

Moroni 10:16- There are many in the church today that also have this gift.  I can certainly attest to the fact that this is a separate gift than the gift of tongues.  The reason I can attest to that is that there have been times that I have had one gift but not the other.  There have been times when I had one and my companion had the other.  This obviously made us work together as a team.  This happened quite often with Elder Brown and I.

17:  These gifts are all gifts that come to us through the Holy Ghost because of the atonement of Christ.  We receive these gift only as Christ sees fit.

18: Every good gift comes from Christ.  Although Satan can imitate these gifts, when they are truly good , they come only from Christ.  The way to determine the source of these gifts is to look at the fruits of those who possess these gifts are exclusively limited to members of the church, but on rare occasions may be manifested in others according to the purposes of God.

19- These things all come from God.  God does not change. Therefore, as long as the same requirements for these gifts are met, these gifts will continue to be manifested unto men.  The major condition which must be met is faith.  Miracles among the faithful will never cease. Miracles among the unbelieving have never occurred.  Neither of these things will ever change.

We spent less time in the apartment today than a normal pros- day.  We went to the hospital to translate at 8:00 am At 11:30 we got home.  i got my haircut, that is a whole different story, then we went back to the hospital to translate. we got home again at 1:30 p.m. I wrote a letter to Kristin, one to Grandpa and Grandma and one to home.  At 6:00 pm, we had an appointment with Riam Yaj (Chia Yang)  That guy is absolutely unreal!  He took us to see his Grandfather!  We taught his Grandfather who then said he wanted to join the church!  If this all works out, we are going to have baptisms here like crazy.  If an eighty- year old man joins the church, so will his kids, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.  Chia is all really making plans on how to convert all of the other people in the family.  Things here in Stockton are absolutely going to explode!  I hope that President Bott will leave me here long bough to see it happen.  These next few months here are going to be very exciting.

After that, we went back to the hospital to translate.  One  of Nruas Hawj’s uncles is in the hospital with kidney failure.  Needless to say, he needs a lot of translating done for him.  We didn’t get home until 10:45 p.m.  That means I was late for prayers. Sorry.

June 11, 1991

Moroni 10:20- Without faith, no miracles can be performed, including the revelation of the truth to an individual. Without the truth, one can not be saved.  It is impossible to be saved in ignorance (D&C 131:6)  Therefore, faith becomes requisite for salvation, Faith on Jesus Christ leads to hope for one’s own salvation based on the answers he receives through faithful prayer.  The more hope one has, the more faith will develop. When these two qualities develop, so will one’s love of Christ, which love is charity.  The more we love Christ, the more we will love our fellow man.  Have charity- that is the 1st and greatest commandment (Matt 22:38-39)

verse 21:  It is simple to see how without obedience to the first and great commandment, it is impossible to be saved. Therefore, we must develop faith, which leads to hope, which hope leads to charity.  This is how charity is developed.  it is also easy to see that faith and hope are prerequisite to developing charity.  Therefore, if one can not be saved without charity, then he must also have faith and hope in order to be saved.

Verse 22: Moroni is not talking to the wicked. We all have iniquities far greater than we realize.  without the hope that comes to us through the atonement of Christ, we must surely know that we are damned.  I am so grateful for the atonement of Christ which gives me hope for salvation.  Without this hope, my life would me meaningless.

Is it hot here or what1 It was 103 F on Monday and hot today too.  The hotter it gets, the bigger Stockton seems when riding a bike.  Today was another awesome day! I don’t know what it is about the last few weeks, but life has been awesome.  Things with Kristin have been better than ever, the missionary work has been better than ever, I have felt better than ever deep down.  Things are just plain going great.

I had a hard time speaking Hmong today because I have had a sore throat, but we still managed to teach 4 discussions.  The Lord continues to bless us with the best experiences in the world.  We had to spend until 12:30 p.m. fixing my comp’s bike, but we still had a super day.  Somebody that loves me must really be praying for me.  I don’t know what I did to deserve all of these wonderful experiences, but I am sure happy.  The Lord has blessed me far beyond what I am worthy of.

June 12, 1991

Moroni 10:23- (7:33 cross) Christ has promised us that if we have faith, we can do all things that are right in the sight of God.  We must have faith, but we also must listen to the Spirit so that we can truly know what it is that is expedient in the Lord’s sight.  With faith we will live righteously enough to have the spirit.  Then we ca do all things which are expedient in the sight of God.

verse 24:  At this point Moroni addresses every living person on the earth.  The only reason that Miracles will ever or have ever ceased among men is because of the unbelief of those men.  We must have faith, then miracles can be a part of our daily lives.

Verse 25:  Anytime that a group of people has no believer among them, it is indeed a sad time for that group of people has no believer among them, it is indeed a sad time for that group.  Without the faith and hope in Christ, what motivates men to do good?  Noting.  If there is only one believer, he shall have the gists of the Spirit.  The gifts of the Spirit come through individual faith and resultant righteousness.  It is possible to be the only one in a group that is righteous enough to have these gifts; however, extreme caution must be taken to prevent one from falling to the level of his associates.

Verse 26: Those who, through their unbelief, do away with the gifts of the Spirit shall surely die in their sins.  To once have had the gifts and then lose them by denying them is truly a great sin.

All prophets speak according to the words of Christ.

Today was a pretty good day.  I got a letter from U.C. San Diego today.  It is going to be pretty tough to transfer into there, but I think I’ll give it a shot and see what happens.  I don’t need to decide for sure where I want to go for quite a while.  i think I’ll just try to keep my options open for awhile.

We got to teach Cheng moue and his family about the way we would baptize them and have them each practice being baptized in the family room.  That is always a fun thing to help someone practice.  That is usually when they realize that they are actually going to get baptized.

We also taught a discussion to Nruas Hawj.  That one seemed to go really well.  i am still hoping that he will catch the vision.  We pretty much laid it on the line today, so we’ll just have to see how it goes.

June 13, 1991

I feel really sick this morning. Sore throat, stomach ache, dizziness, and no voice.  I hope it soon goes away.  Notes from today’s reading:

Moroni 10:27- We will al be brought to stand before the judgement bar of christ and judged according to the witnesses that we have received.  The prophets will al testify of the things that they have taught us.  The missionaries will testify as to whether or not they bore witness to those they contacted.  i don’t ever want to have to say that I didn’t bear witness to someone.  i will bear witness to all those whom I contact.

Verse 28-  God will ask us if we received these things.  It is for this reason that we better study daily to know what is in the Book of Mormon.  Every generation shall be judged according to the witnesses they received.  Those in this generation have been blessed with more witnesses than any previous generation.  Wo unto those who do not heed these things.

Verse 29-  God will show unto all that the prophets’ witnesses have all been true.  At that day, the wicked will realize their iniquity.  God will show us in this life that the words the prophets say are true, if we will but seek a witness, then we will realize our iniquity while we still have time to repent.  One of Satan’s strongest tools id to convince men to procrastinate seeking this witness. If men will seek this witness a described in verse 4, it will truly be given them.

I feel like crap today.  My throat hurts, I am dizzy, and my voice is just about gone.  we went on splits with the Cambodians all day.  It went pretty well. i hate riding my bike when I’m sick. I am going to bed.

5/31/1991- 6/6/1991

May 31, 1991

3 Nephi 18:19- Because of Satan’s desire to overcome us and drag us down, we must pray always.  Not only must we pray as individuals, but we must pray as a family.  It is when we do not pray as a family that Satan is able to get between us.  We pray to the Father in Christ’s name because Christ was the only person on the earth to be worthy of Himself of praying to and conversing with the Father.  The ability to pray in Christ’s name is a privilege extend to every man on the earth.  Some churches pray in their own name.  that is blasphemy!  Who would ever consider themselves to be independently worthy of approaching God the Father in prayer?  The only way that out prayers will be heard (because of our unworthiness) is if we take upon us Christ’s name and humbly approach god’s throne.  Then will out prayers be heard and answered.

20- If we ask for things in prayer which are tightwads desires and are proper in the sight of God, and we do so with faith in Christ, and we do so in the name of Christ, it shall be given to us. 

21-  This is a direct commandment from Jesus Christ to all of the patriarchs of families all over to world.  Family prayer is commanded and has been commanded for all eternity.  we must pray as a family.  I have gained a strong testimony  of family prayer over the past few weeks.  with it we will make it. Without it, at some point we will be unable to stand.  We must always pray together!

We road our bikes through downtown Stockton today.  That was really sad. Alcohol and drugs are the two most wicked things in the whole world.  There were so may people just sitting on the sidewalk either drunk or high. What a waste of life.  It was such a terrible wicked thing to see what those people’s lives are like. All for a drunken stupor they have thrown their entire lives away.  I sure do think that is sad!

We had kind of a hard time today.  We sure met with a whole lot of people today, but we had a hard time getting many discussions.  we rode our bikes for 40 min to get to an appointment, and the guy wasn’t even home!  I also found out today that Elder Barton is not into riding his bike very fast at all.  I felt like I was going to go nuts.

We got to go teach a new member discussion to Nopparat today.  It was so neat.  Every time I heart her pray, it brings tears to my eyes.  That’s how prayers are supposed to be: humble, simple, calm, sincere, and honest.  I wish that I could pray like that.  Why do Americans always have to use such great big phrases and all the complicated words?  I remember that Kristin doesn’t pray like that either.  Maybe when I get home she will teach me how to pray like that too.

I got a package from home today.  mom sent me 96 razors, a shower mirror, and some Motrin for my legs.  It was sure good to hear from her.  She didn’t say much, but apparently she is doing fine.  Hopefully tomorrow will be a more productive day.

June 1, 1991

3 Nephi 18:22- How terrible it would be if someone was to feel unwelcome in the Lor’s church.  Yet, how often do members and nonmembers fell unwelcome because of the ‘strong members’ reaction to them.  All are equal in the sight of the Lord, and it is imperative that we as LDS go out of our way to see that others feel welcome in the sight of the Lord.

23- Those that come to church must be accepted and prayed for.  Again the manner of prayer is made very clear.  We are to pray to the Father in the name of Jesus Christ.  We should pray for all those who are in some way seeking to return. It is amazing how praying for someone helps you to love him.

———24- Christ is out light.  We must hold up our light to the world. Christ even explains in this verse how we go about holding up the light.  It is os simple.  We simply do those things which we have seen Christ do.  Christ prayed unto the Father.  We should pray unto the Father in Christ’s name.  If at the end of the day, we are able to truly say that all of our actions that day were done in Christ’s name, then we can be sure that we are doing our job of holding our light up to the world. I sure have a long way to go.

25- We should never tell anyone to stay away from our church.  we should suffer all to come to our meetings that they can see and feel Christ.

Those who do not all things in Christ’s name (especially son stand prayer and fellowshipping) suffer themselves to be led into temptation.

I am really confused!  I don’t know what the deal is.  We went and taught Cheng Moua today.  He committed for baptism, but something just didn’t seem right.  Anyway, tonight his wife tells us that she had a vacation planned for that day, but her husband didn’t even know that she was leaving!  I don’t know what in the world is going on with that family, but it is a long way from normal.  Anyway, I don’t know for sure what is going on there so I will have to wait and see what happens.  She has said for a long time that she wants to be baptized, but she didn’t seem very happy about his decision.  I don’t get it, but I’m sure that the Lord’s will will be done.

Otherwise we got rocked hard toady.  Nobody was home!  Every time we went to a house, they had just left.  besides that, today was the day that the welfare checks came, plus it was Saturday.  Naturally, all of the Hmong people went to spend their money.

June 2, 1991

3 Nephi 18:26- The preceding, verse 18-25, was spoken to and taught to not only the disciples but also to the multitude.  At this point in His teaching, Christ again turns to the disciples He had chosen so that He may give His leaders some more counsel.

27-  Christ still had much work to do. This is a good indication that when we are in the Celestial Kingdom, we will still have much world to do.  Those who obtain a position in the Celestial Kingdom are those who shall progress eternally.  In order to progress, we must be working.  The work of christ is stated in Moses 1:39.  If an exalted being must fulfill God’s commandments, how much greater need have we to fulfill the commandments of God!

28- The sacrament is no different than any other ordinance of the gospel.  No one can receive sacred ordinances unless he or she is worthy of that ordinance. Although the sacrament is an ordinance performed often, it is one that should never be taken lightly.  I need to do better at checking my own personal worthiness before partaking of the holy emblems of the sacrament.  

29- It is of utmost importance to keep in mind that Christ is speaking to those who will preside over these ordinances.  In today’s church, it is only the Bishop who has the right and authority to forbid someone from partaking of the sacrament. LDS must always be cautious not to overstep their own bounds of authority.

Today was a pretty good day. Church went well, but it wasn’t as food as last week. Out attendance was down a little, but otherwise it was very good.  I was really impressed with the discussion in the Priesthood quorum.  Those men have a far deeper understanding of the gospel than I ever dreamed.

Tonight we went to see a guy named Chia Yang.  He is a guy that Elder Davis and Elder Nielson taught a first discussion to, but never got back to see him again.  We went with Xiong Yang, the R.M. in out ward.  It was really a good opportunity to see a Hmong guy teach a discussion.  I really learned a lot.  Besides that Chia really has a strong testimony of the gospel.  hopefully we can get bak and see him again quite soon.

I was thinking today about some of the things I miss about home.  One of the things I miss most is having someone around who understands me all the way through.  Guess who that is.  Anyway, I realized that most of the things that I mess about home are not as important to me as what I am doing now.  The things that are this important to me (namely my family and Kristin) will still be there when I get home.  The only difference is that I will be able to enjoy them more because of the knowledge and wisdom that I have gained as a missionary.

Today I am just happy to serve the Lord!

June 3, 1991

3 Nephi 18:30- No Matter what a person’s history, when they come to church they must be welcomed.  Not only that, it is the duty of every member of the church to pray constantly for everyone who is not a member of the church.  After one repents and is baptized, then he shall have the privilege of participating in the ordinances of the sacrament.

31- If one does not repent and be baptized, he cannot be counted among the church members.  Christ will not allow unbelievers to drag down the members of the church.  Christ does know His sheep. I can testify that He know me better than I know myself, and He loves me.

32- Those who have not yet repented and been baptized can not be ignored.  We as church members must continues to serve them and teach them.  Those who do repent shall truly be healed by Christ’s love and atoning sacrifice.  What a wonderful opportunity to be the instrument which the Lord uses to bring someone unto Himself.  i will strive to never turn down an opportunity to fellowship or minister to anyone.

33- We must keep these sayings always.  I would hare to come user condemnation for failing to act in a manner that would have brought a soul to Christ.  The gospel brings great blessings, but failure to live it also brings equal condemnation.

We finally got to sit down and talk with both Cheng Moua and his wife today.  It turns out that she really does want to be baptized, but she is somewhat scared now that it is actually going to happen.  I think she is just nervous because her wish is finally going to come true.  Anyway, tonight we had a really good talk and they are going to get baptized as a family on the 15th of the onto.  It was also the first time that we actually got the kids to sit down and be quiet so we could talk to them too.  I’m really glad that they are waiting until the 15th so that they can all have a chance to be taught better.  hopefully, we will have some others ready by them too.

June 4, 1991

3 Nephi 18:34-  The reason that Christ had to give commandments concerning the attendance of meetings by unbaptized people was that the members had argued with one another about it.  In the church, there is a set system for voicing one’s opinion.  However, after a decision has been reached, it is crucial that we back it with all of our hearts.  Then we will be blessed for our lack of disputations. Families also must work the same way.  there should never be anyone in the church or family who says, “I knew that would happen, “or” I knew that wouldn’t work because once a decision is reached, it should be the decision of all those involved.  It is interesting to note that He spoke to His disciples this way.  There should be no disputations among the church leaders or family leaders either.

35- It is expedient to all of us that the will of the Father is fulfilled in all things.  The reason that Christ did all things was to fulfill the will of the Father.  He did so for our sakes.  He did so that we might return to live with our Heavenly Father.

36- Christ laid His hands upon each of the disciples and spoke to them.  I would imagine that he gave them power or authority of some sort.

37- He gave them the power to bestow the Holy Ghost upon others.  They all ready had the Melchizedek priesthood, what they yet lacked were the keys for performing the ordinance of giving the Holy Ghost.  By doing this, christ gave them the keys to bestow the Holy Ghost.  Basically, He set them apart for this work.

Today was the very best day of my whole entire mission, and I’ve had some pretty good days.  We taught 7, yes, 7 discussions today.  They all went very well.  I absolutely love to teach people.  Chia Yang committed for baptism too!  I am so psyched.  The next thing that we need to do is to try to get his family involved.  I mean, his wife is committed all ready, but his extended family has not been very interested as of yet.

Elder Bacton really made me proud of him today.  We had to ride our bikes all over this city today, and this city is a big place.  Anyway, it is not easy for a guy his size to ride a bike that hard, but he did it.  He also did a really good job in his teaching.  It is really easy to love a companion who is giving it his all.  He is.  maybe that’s why it was so easy for me to fall in love with Kristin. She always gave it her all.  The times we are far apart are the times that we are not giving it our all.

Speaking of Kristin, I got a letter from her today.  She wrote it on the 29th.  For some reason, it took that letter an awful long time to get here.  Anyway, she had just arrived in Arizona and she seemed to be doing fine.  I miss that girl.  I wish I could share with her how good a day like today feels.  Sharing the gospel is the greatest!  I wouldn’t trade today for anything.

June 5, 1991

3 Nephi 18:38- When Jesus had touched every single one of His disciples, there came a cloud which overshadowed the multitude I wonder why He chose to ascend in a cloud?

39-  The cloud apparently did not overshadow the disciples.  They were able to see Jesus ascend into the heaven and they bore witness of it.  In this chapter, it is very interesting to me that only the disciples heard and saw some of the things that happened.  I would imagine that the reason or this was to allow the people to learn and exercise faith by believing in the witness of the disciples.

Moroni 10:1-  Moroni wrote this chapter to the Lamanites who would receive this record in the Latter- days.  However, the things contained in Holy Scripture apply to all people.  Therefore, it is for our benefit also that Moroni wrote these things.  He gave us a time reference so that we might know how long it took for the once wonderful society to decay and be destroyed.

2:  After writing a few more things to exhort us in the ways of righteousness, Moroni would seal the precious record up unto the Lord, not to be seen again by man until Joseph Smith was given them by the angel Moroni.

Today was a fairly productive day, but not quite the caliber of yesterday.  I was really tired today.  I guess yesterday was probably pretty draining.  Anyway, we were able to teach three discussions today.  That makes for a pretty good day in and of itself.  We spent some time preparing Cheng Moua to receive the Aaronic Priesthood so that after we baptize him, he can be the one to baptize his family.

I am finding that as soon as I allow myself to be scarified with a certain level of effort or success, that level is all that I will ever achieve.  For instance, usually 3 discussions in a day means that you did pretty well, Yesterday, I decided to try to do better than that, & look what happened.  Today I was so tired that I could hardly stand up and we were still able to teach 3 discussions.  As soon as I reach a goal, I need to immediately set a higher one so that I can continue to progress.  I’m not talking about just the number of discussions taught, but I’m talking about every single area of my life.  I need to try to make the times that I reach goal mile markers and not plateaus.  If I can do this, I will be able to accomplish much on my mission and in my life.  We need to strive to do this so that we will also be able to accomplish much.

June 6, 1991

Moroni 10:3- the only way that anyone ever has the opportunity to read the things contained in this book of scripture is if it be wisdom in God.  The Lord has truly been merciful unto all men from the fall of Adam down through the ages.  This mercy is the only hope that any of us have of redemption.  How can one do anything but love a God who had been so merciful to all mankind.

4:  There are a few things that I have found to be key in relaying this promise.

1. The pray must be offered to the Father, in the name of Jesus Christ.

2. One must specifically ask if there things are true or not.

3.  One must truly want to know.

4.  One must have a basic understanding of the Holy Ghost.

5: I can truly testify from personal experience that the things here arrested to are true.  I have put this promise to the testimony times.  From these experiences, I can testify of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon.  I can testify that Joseph Smith, Jr. was a true prophet of God.  I can testify that the church of Jesus Christ of latter- day Saints is the only true and living church on the face of the earth.  By following the pattern outlined in verse 4, one can truly know the truthfulness of all things.  I bear this solemn witness in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

I am so tired tonight that I can hardly believe it!  I feel like I have been running around all day like a chicken with its head cut off.  we were able to teach only 3 discussions today, but those three went very well.  Chia Yang asked us if we wanted to teach his Aunt, Uncle,and cousins about our church too.  Of course we said yes and we will start tomorrow. We also had to make an emergency trip to the hospital for one of our investigators’ uncle. He is really sick.  His kidneys have been deteriorating for quite some time, but he has been afraid to of to the doctor.  Well, he experienced kidney failure and the whole thing was quite frightening for himself and his whole family.  He is going to be okay, but will need a kidney transplant soon.

5/24/1991-5/30/1991

May 24, 1991

Today was a pretty good day.  We went with Nopparat and her husband to get a marriage license so that she can get baptized tomorrow. It was kind of fun.  Our branch Prsident had to sign it now before it is official, but it was fun.  The county clerk asked them to raise their right hands and swear that the information they had provided was true.  I think Nopparat thought it was a marriage ceremony because she answered by saying, “I do.”  We went back over to their apartment this afternoon with Elder Clarke (our DL) for her interview.  My comp will baptize her tomorrow.  I can’t wait!

qWe went and taught Cheng Moua and his family tonight.

We had him pray right there to find out if he and his family should be baptized.  The spirit was so strong that I couldn’t believe it.  When he was done praying, he said that he still wasn’t sure.  I don’t know how he could miss that answer1  we told him we would be back tomorrow to see what his decision is.  I really hope tha the will decide to be baptized.

It has really been a long time since I heard from my family (2 weeks)  I hope that they are all doing okay and that things are going well for them.

I am really glad to be a missionary, but there are times that I miss being home too.

May 25, 1991

3 Nephi 16:14- Those gentiles who repent of their unbelief will not be destroyed by the tribes of Israel.  I think that this is probably because as soon as they believe, they are numbered among the tribes of Israel.

15- This gentiles who refuse to repent shall truly be destroyed by the house of Israel.  This will happen both in the American continent and in Jerusalem, as well as though out the world. There is no question about it.  The righteous will prevail. The wicked shall be trodden under the feet of the righteous, that the works of God might go forth.

16-  Christ was commanded to give the promised land to the people who were present.  Again, it is interesting to note that although Christ is a God, He still listens to and obeys the commands of His Father.  Were it not so, Christ could not be a God.

17- All of the words of all of the prophets shall be fulfilled.

18-  The leaders of the church (watchmen) shall see eye to eye. I’m not very sure what this means exactly.  It must mean that all those who have stewardships in the church will understand the ‘big picture’ and work together as a true team to accomplish the will of the Lord.

Tonight Nopparat for baptized! I got to confirm her. During the confirmation, I paused and said a silent prayer for help.  After that I was truly told in both my heart and my mind of the things I should say. If I am careful, I don’t think that I will ever have a problem again discerning between my own thought & feelings and the promptings of the Holy Ghost.  

The promptings of the Spirit have never been so strong in my entire life as they were tonight.  We also had a baptism for the Yang brothers (8&9).  The reason that the 9 year old waited to be baptized was so that his brother could get baptized together.

The church is true! Baptisms are the best!  I love to be a missionary 11 1/2 more months is sometimes a long time an sometimes seems real short.  I’m just going to have to work my butt off!

May 26, 1991

3 Nephi 16:19- Now is the time for us to rejoice in the gospel of Christ.  The Lord has brought forth His kingdom on the earth.  Jesus Christ is my Savior and Reemeemer.  I shall never forget the vision that I had of Him pleading for all of us in the Garden of Gethsemane.  Now is the time to be righteous for the sake of righteousness.  Now is the time to abhor wickedness with all of our hearts.  We must learn this.

20- There is no one on this earth who can escape the justice of God.  There is also no one on this earth to whom the mercy of God is not extended.  It is left to the individual to decide whether to face the justice of God or to face the mercy of Christ.  I hope and pray that I can bring forth fruits meet for repentance so that I can receive the mercy of Christ.

3 Nephi 18:1-  Christ commanded His disciples that they should bring forth bread and wine.  It is very interesting to me that Christ did not perform a miracle by producing bread and wine.  I think that this is a food illustration of not expecting miracles when the same works can be wrought by the ordinary methods.

2- After delegating the fast, Christ went on to other things while allowing the disciples to take care of things on their own.  This is a perfect example of leadership and parenting.  It couldn’t have been such an easy task to find enough bread and wine for such a multitude, yet Christ allowed His disciples to carry out the task.

Well, today went pretty well.  We had a meeting this morning with our High Counselor and our shadow leader.  Out shadow leader started to slam on the Hmong culture and the people.  He obviously has not worked with them for very long.  Anyway, I tried really hard to keep from looking like I was upset while I explained some things to him, but I am afraid that it was quite obvious.

Tonight when we went to see Cheng Moua and his family, there were some American kids out in the parking lot trying to cause trouble with the Hmong kids.  Anyway, as we pulled up, the American kids were in full retreat.  At the beginning of out discussion, I saw the American kids come walking along the sidewalk, the next thing I know the American kids are shooting rocks at the window with slingshots.  When I opened the door wearing a white shirt and tie, all five of those kids about died.  They and I had little talk and I would guess that they will not ever be back.  

Racial and cultural persecution is so wicked!  The fastest way to make me angry is to slam the Hmong people.  I love them with all of my heart.

May 27, 1991

3 Nephi 18:4- In commanding the disciples to pass the sacrament to the multitude, Christ gave them authority to pass the sacrament.  Nothing is ever done correctly in the church without hold the proper priesthood and the proper authority.  The disciples all ready held the priesthood (mel. priesthood) and now they had the authority to pass the sacrament.

4- The disciples probably did not eat until they were physically full.  They partook of the bread and were filled with the comfort of the Holy Ghost.

3- Christ is the me that blessed and brake the bread, thus setting an example concerning how the sacrament should be properly administered.

5- Christ tells the disciples that one of them will receive the authority necessary to bless the sacrament for those who have been baptized.

6- The sacrament is something that should always be done.  It is a valuable privilege to partake of the sacrament.  It should not be taken lightly. Missing church robs us of the blessings of partaking of the sacrament.  I hope that we will set a goal to never miss a sacrament meeting for any reason but extreme illness.

May 27, 1991

I use “well” kind of like they use “And it came to pass” in the Book of Mormon.  Well, we spent a good part of the day today with Cheng Moua and his family at the cemetery.  I was really struck hard at what a sad thing death is for people who do not have the fullness of the gospel.  How sad it must be!  It made me hurt inside for all of the people who have lost loved ones, but didn’t know where they were going.  The gospel message is so important!

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the only church on the face of the earth today that has a fulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ!  It is the only church on the earth with the authority and/ or power (no other church has either) to perform the ordinances necessary to the salvation of mankind.  Ezra taft Benson is a prophet of God.  Joseph  Smith, Jr. was a prophet of God.  He translated the Book of Mormon by the power of God.  The Book of mormon contains God’s word.  The Book of Mormon will help us to become nearer to God than any other book.  Jesus Christ atoned for my sins.  Families can be together forever, if they are sealed together in the temple of the Lord and endure to the end in obedience to the Lord’s commandments.  I know all of these things to be true, and I write them in the name of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, Amen.

May 28, 1991

3 Nephi 18:7- The bread of the sacrament should always be taken in remembrance of the body of Christ, which He cam to this earth to receive, which he allowed to be beaten and bruised so that he might be a means of helping us all to be resurrected.  By partaking of the bread, we witness unto the Father that we do always remember the Son, we have the Holy Ghost to be with us.  Sounds kinda like a baptismal covenant, huh?

8- Although it does not say that Christ blessed the wine, it is certainly safe to assume that He did.  He then commanded the disciples and multitude to partake.  It is quite interesting to me that He not only gave it to them, but He commanded them to drink.  This is symbolic to me of the fact that it is not enough to simply have a knowledge of the gospel, but we must act on the knowledge that we have.

9- Those who did as Jesus bade them were filled with the Spirit.  The very same thing happens today.

10- By obeying Christ in these simple acts, the disciples demonstrated before the Father that they were willing to do the things Christ commanded.  When it comes down to it, all things in the gospel are this easy.  In all that we do, we either do as we are told, or we do not.  Every act we do is either in accordance to the law or it isn’t.  It is just that simple.

Wow!  It all ready feels like it has been an extremely long week.  I wonder why it feels like that.  Today has been a pretty good day.  We were able to pick up tow pretty good families today.  I hope like crazy that we can keep them going.  Besides that, Cheng Moua told us today that he would talk to his family and see how they felt about being baptized on the 8the of June.  I hope like crazy that he was really sincere about it.  I know all ready that his family wants to be baptized.  now we’ll just have to wait and see what he decides.

The Lord has really blessed our efforts here in Stockton.  It is simply amazing to me how much the Lord has blessed our work. I need to learn so much more.  There is so much for me to learn, just about the promptings of the Holy Spirit alone.  I need to learn how to truly listen to the promptings of the Spirit.  I have improved a lot in that area in just the last week.  I hope that I can learn as much in the next year as I have learned in the last year.

I got rocked at the mailbox today.  I am really starting to wonder what the deal is with my family.  It has been a long time since I heard from them.

May 29, 1991

3 Nephi 18;11- The sacramental water is also taken in remembrance of christ, this time in remembrance of His blood which was shed for us.  It was shed for those who would be willing to repent and be baptized in the name of Christ and be obedient to the principles and ordinances of the gospel of Jesus Christ.  Again, if we do these things and remember Christ, we shall have the Spirit of the Lord to be with us always.

12- If we shall do the things which Christ commands us to do, we shall be greatly blessed.  If we truly keep the commandments  being baptized in Christ’s name, then we are built upon the rock of christ.  We are promised in 3 Nephi 11:39 that if we are built upon Christ’s rock, the gates of hell shall not prevail against us.

13- Those who turn from the gospel in the smallest degree shall not survive the trials of this life because they build their testimonies and life in unsafe places.  At some point or another, Satan’s temptations will overcome them and they will no longer have claim on the glory of the Celestial Kingdom.  Through out our lives, we must be very careful to study the principles of the gospel as the Lord has revealed it to His prophets and to avoid the “intellectual” approach to the gospel that so many members feel is necessary.

Transfer calls came this morning and Elder Nielson is being transferred to Fresno.  yes, I am jealous.  my new comp is going to be Elder Barton. He had been out of the MTC for 4 months.  I was in Fresno the same time as him and I am really looking forward to being his comp because he is really a great guy.

I have bee really homesick today.  I don’t know what my problem is.  I Think part of it is this half-way point stuff.  The other part of it is not hearing from home.  I hope that someone soon sees fit to let me know that they are actually alive.  Another part of it is the fact that since my comp got transferred we spent the majority of the day getting him ready to go.

HOME-

I can’t help but wider if things are really going to work out the way I want them to when I get home.  I can’t help but wonder if things are really going to work out with Kristin.  All right1  That is enough being a wimp for today.  Onward & Upward!

May 30, 1991

3 Nephi 18:14- Those who keep the commandments shall be blessed abundantly.  Christ obeyed the Father by giving us the commandments.  He also kept all of the commandments of the Father both while on this earth and afterwards.  Christ does not ask us to overcome anything that he did not overcome himself. (D&C 18:11)

15- This verse is very important and is one that we should read often with out children.  We must both watch, take an active role in identifying and avoiding temptations, and pray, ask God to help us to avoid temptations, continually.  If one ever lets his guard down, Satan will strike immediately.  We must never allow this to happen to us or our children.

16- we should also pray to the Father in Christ’s name.  The sacrament should be administered to those who repent and are baptized.  Once again, Christ set the example for us.  He is the light to all of us.  We must concentrate always on His light.

17- All of the things written in verse 10-16 were spoken to the 12 disciples.  He was instructing the leadership of His church.  After doing so, He turned back to the multitude and addressed them again.

18-  Not only the leaders of the church must watch and pray always, but every member of the church must do so lest he be tempted to sin.  Satan desires us!  He can not have us.  That is all that there is to it.  I refuse to let him win.

Today was a pretty good day!  I got a new comp, Elder Barton.  He is from Grantsville, Utah.  He is really a good guy!  We are going to be able to get along really well and it’s going to be fun.  He played baseball in high school and stuff like that, so we relate really well.

We taught a discussion to Chua Her today. He was asking some really deep questions, i.e..  why was there forbidden fruit? Is Satan’s God’s son?  Why does God let us sin?  We seemed to be able to do pretty well answering.  The Spirit seems to come through for me every time as long as I am in time.

5/17/1991- 5/23/1991

May 17, 1991

Today was kind of a weird day.  This morning President Bott and the A.P.’s came up for interviews and apartment inspections, so we had to wait all morning for them.  After that, we went and saw a lady who is a member.  She had not been in America very long at all, but she joined the church when she lived in France.  She had such a sting testimony that it is absolutely unreal!

After that, we went to check on some referrals.  We ended up going to the optometrist with some of them for an eye exam.  It was a riot to translate their eye exams.  i still don’t know if any of them ended up with the right glasses or not. 

Anyway, we also taught Nopparat a 4th discussion tonight.  It went really well.  The next discussion is on tithing.  I hope and pray that she can commit herself to obeying that law.  Everyone else that I have ever taught had been on welfare, so this will really be the first tine that I have ever had to commit someone to the law of tithing.  I hope that she can accept it.

I got a letter today that really made me step back and thing.  I guess I’m probably still thinking about it.

May 18, 1991

Todnight was really a good Stake Conference. There were talks on every aspect of family life, motherhood, fatherhood, raising kids, and doing temple work.  It was really a good conference.  I really way able to learn a lot.  

The talk on fatherhood was given by So Vang, the second counselor in our branch presidency.  It was really a good talk.  It there is one thing that 99% of hmong men know how to do, it is to be great fathers.

I got a letter from Kristen today.  I realized a lot of the things I have done wrong lately.

She is very seriously considering serving a mission.  I think that that would be absolutely fantastic!  She would be so much more valuable to me as a mate after having the experiences of a mission.  Of course, it would definitely change a great number of our plans.  I’m not sure when we would ever see each other or be able to date or anything.  All that I know is that if she is willing to dedicate the time to the Lord, she will be greatly blessed.  The Lord’s will be done.  That I know.

May 19, 1991

Today we taught Nopparat about tithing.  She said no problem1  Don't ever let anyone tell you prayer doesn’t work.  I was so happy.

I have been fasting today to help Kristin decided wether or not to go on a mission.  I guess part of me wants her to go, but deep down I want her to stay.  I really want for us to be ready to move on with our life together when I get home.  No matter what she does, I’m sure that things would be find. I wish I could make her see how beautiful, talented, exciting, loveable, and wonderful she is. She is the best, and I miss her.  

(I put this part in because I think it is a good example to prayer for your wife or the people you are dating to be able to make good decisions.  That doesn’t mean they will always choose the right, but it puts your heart in the right place and you also know that you have done everything in your power to help them.   I like also how you see dad struggle with His will and God’s will and trying to get them aligned.  He does that through prayer and trying to humble himself.  I also like how he sees that it is important to make you wife feel like she is an amazing person.  I think dad’s relationship with Kristin really prepared him to love me more unconditionally.  He decided beforehand that things he would need to do to aid his wife.  Kristin was the catalyst for those thoughts, but the desires were planted for his future wife, not just her specifically.  I have thought a lot about why Dad needed to date Kristin.  I she how much this difficult relationship taught him and how it prepared him and helped him in our relationship.  I see how it was an incentive for him to write these things for me and for his kids to read.  These are things that Dad needed to teach us.  Take his experiences and let them create resolve in your heart :)

May 21, 1991

  Today was kind of a weird day.  We saw about 1/2 of our investigator families and I feel pretty good about the way things went with all of them.  We also met another really good family today that has been taught in the past, but never baptized.  They seemed to be really open to the things that we taught them.  They really wanted to know about the things that we had to say, so I really feel good about it.

We didn’t seem to have any real success stories from the activities of the day, but I feel like we are finally getting the area into the kind of shape that it should really be in.  I certainly hope that things will pick up now.

The other day, the Ap’s told me that some of the baptisms that Elder Baker and I had scheduled in Fresno came through after being postponed slightly.  I’m really glad to know that those came through down there. I would really like to know which ones came through and which ones didn’t.

I wonder what Kristin has decided to do about a mission?  I sure as heck wish I knew.  I wonder where she will go?  Maybe she’ll go on a sign-language mission.

May 22, 1991

I finished the Book of Mormon again yesterday. After praying, I received the sweetest, most peaceful confirmation of its truth that I have yet received.

3 Nephi 16:1-  There were people, Christ’s people (probably signifying tribes of Israel )that lived in areas that were not near Israel or the Americas. Christ went to those lands to minister to the people.  We as missionaries should do the same.

3- The resurrected and glorified Christ obeyed His Father.  If someone with so much glory and power obeys His Father, how much more need have we to obey both the commandments of our Father in Heaven and the counsel of our earthly fathers.  Being ‘mature adults’ does not relieve us of our obligation to honor our parents.  We must live our own lives, but we must always five careful consideration to the words of counsel given us by our parents.  The Father desires for all of us to hear His voice and be one fold.

4-  These things could have been made manifest to those in Jerusalem, if they had faithfully searched for more knowledge.  Christ caused all of these things to be written that the seed of those in Jerusalem might be brought to a knowledge of the truth despite the unbelief of their fathers.  The Israelites were literally scattered because of their unbelief.

I have really had a lot of energy today,  I think that is because I ate 3 meals yesterday.  I think I will keep trying to eat 3 times a day.  I got up this morning and actually exercised.  It really felt good.  It has been a long time since I exercised like that.

Today I received a package in the mail from Mee Xiong down in Visalia.  She made me a shirt and a tie and mailed them to me.  The shirt is so nice!  It is a white Hmong shirt that is embroidered with pan ntaub and had real silver buttons.  The tie is all hand embroidered too.  It is really nice.  I feel bad that I can’t write to her and thank her for it.  She also sent me a cassette tape. I really wish that there was something that I could do to help her.  She had really got it rough.  Oh well maybe someday I can see her and her family again.

Today was kind of a tough day.  We did not manage to get a whole lot done.  we taught two discussions, but the work here is not going forth the way it should be.  I wonder what the Lord would have us do different?

May 23, 1991

3 Nephi 16:5- The tribes of Israel, those who believe the gospel (rom 9:7) will truly be gathered from the 4 quarters of the earth.  This is happening right now.  Look at the number of people who have literally been gathered to the promised land so they can hear and accept the gospel.

6- This who are not physical descendants of Israel who believe in the Son and the Holy Ghost will also be greatly blessed.  The holy Ghost always bears witness of the Father and of the Son.

7- Because of the unfaithfulness of the physical descendants of Israel, the fulness of the gospel will be given to those who are not the physical descendants of Israel.  Christ said that this would happen in the latter day, and indeed it has.

8- This who are not descendants of Israel in any way will encounter the judgement and the wrath of God.  On this American continent, as well as other continents the Gentiles have scattered the seed of Israel. ( We become descendants of Israel by accepting the gospel- wrath is incurred by not accepting the gospel)

Gentiles- 1. Those who are not physical descendants of Isaac.

2.  Those who do not accept the Gospel of Christ, whether they are descended of Isaac or not.

Israel- 1.  Those who are physical descendants of Isaac

2. those who believe and accept the fulness of the gospel

May 23, 1991

Yesterday was one of those days that makes me wonder if I can possibly be a missionary for another year, and today makes me wonder why I only have another year left.

We taught Nopparat a 6th discussion today and set everything up for her baptism Saturday.  We need to go with her and her husband to get a marriage license tomorrow and then we are set!  I am really excited to see her get baptized.  There will also be two boys getting baptized Saturday, one of which is 9, so that will also be a convert baptism.  Elder Davis and Elder Nielson taught him all of the discussions, so he is ready.  This Saturday is just going to be awesome!

We were able to pick up a few new families today also.  That always feels good.  Besides that, Chen Mona’s wife told us that she awaits to be baptized. That will be good too.

5/10/1991- 5/16/1991

May 10, 1991

Well, today was kind of a slow day again.  We were only able to teach one of our regular investigators.  We taught a discussion to See Vang.  He let us listen to the first song on an album that he is in the process of recording. It was really good.  Anyway, we taught him a 4th discussion.  It seemed to go pretty well, but not exceptionally well.  We still need to go back and teach him the 3rd discussion.

We also spent sometime today allowing my comp to se some Hmong people and practice teaching them.  He seems to be doing some better. Tomorrow we need to talk a little about the difference between knowing the language and simply using the gift of tongues.  I hope that I can help him to learn what he needs to learn.

Today was kind of a hard day for me motivationally.  I am starting to realize that it is going to be a long hard haul here in Stockton.  i wish I could find the same motivation I had last month in Fresno.  I imagine that it is not a matter of wishing, it is just a matter of doing.  I’ll just have to do better tomorrow.  Everyone gets to have a tough day every now and then.  Today was mine.

May 11, 1991

Today went pretty well, but I am still having a hard time knowing exactly what to do here.  It is still hard to know exactly how the Lord wants me to go about things here.  For some reason, I feel really lost still.  I suppose I feel a lot like I did when I first got to Visalia.  I wish I could really get a hold on things and get stuff going.  I am sure that we will be able to do it soon.

We found some inactive families today that we invited back to church.  They are bother part-member families.  That makes it so hard on both the members and the non-members.  It is so much better if the whole family is baptized.  Unfortunately the members seem as though they are acting as the stumbling block to the nonmembers.  It is really sad.  i hope that we can get back to them and try to help them out a little.  It is also hard because the nonmembers in those families have already said no once.

I got rocked at the mailbox again today.  Oh well, since tomorrow is Mother’s Day, I will get to talk to my family.  I wonder if Kristin will call tomorrow.  I wonder what she is doing right now.  I still feel like I hardly even know what she is up to.  I wish I knew.  I really miss her friendship. 

May 13, 1991

Wow!  Did I need a P-day today or what?  It was really nice.  We washed the entire apartment.  What a pain.  President and Sister Bott are inspecting all of the apartments this week,so we had to clean it really well.

After that, we went shopping for food and that kind of stuff.  I also bought a birthday present for Kristen and sent it to her. 

Yesterday was Mother’s Day, so I got to call home.  It was sure good to talk to everyone at home.

We met with a lot of people tonight, but we weren’t able to teach any discussions.  It was just that no one seemed to be free.  Oh well, tomorrow we can get on it and get it going.  Tomorrow is the day that I am really going to start to get after it hard.

May 14, 1991

Today really went well,  We were able to teach 3 discussions as well as add 2 families to our teaching pool.  However, I found some things out today that really upset me.  Jeff Bohn had been going around to the people that he helped baptize and teach and getting them all involved in some multi-level marketing scheme.  I can’t imagine going around and trying to make money off of the people that I have taught the gospel too!  I don’t know what he is thinking!  Besides that, the stuff that he is selling is a flat out rip off!  We talked to President Bott about it tonight and he said to call the stake president tomorrow morning and let him take care of it.  Hopefully, he will just call Elder Bohn and take care of it that way.  I hope he will do it.

District Meeting this morning was kind of fun.  I am the second oldest missionary in our district!  I can not believe that I have been a missionary for nearly one year!  That just blows my mind!  Anyway, we talked a lot about ways to get throngs going in our areas and we set some pretty high goals for our district.  I hope that we can reach those goals!

May 15, 1991

we spent until about 2:00 p.m. today at the hospital with Ming Lee.  He is one of our members.  he had to have an appendectomy.  Anyway, we spent quite a while with him this morning and went back to see him again tonight.  He seems to be doing pretty well.  We will of back to see him again tomorrow afternoon.

Right now we have about 5 families that are to the point that they need to make a decision about whether or not they want to be baptized.  I am really praying for them.  I hope that they will be able to get the answers that they are praying for.  I hope that they will be able to understand the answer that the Spirit gives to them.

We taught 3 discussions today, including one to Nopparat.  She was really spaced out today.  I hope that she is understanding all of this stuff.  Sometimes she is really interested, and sometimes she seems like she couldn’t careless.  I think that maybe that has something to do with the fact that she doesn’t have the Holy Ghost yet.  I guess that we need to do a better job of insuring that she feels the Spirit daily.  Some days she is really tired from work. I’ve learned on thing when you are tired, it is almost impossible to feel the Spirit.

May 16, 1991

I am really tired tonight.  I’m not too sure why I am so tired, but I am.  It really stinks!  I with that I could always be full of energy.  Today we met with and dropped a lot of our investigators.  They are the people that have seen a lot of missionaries before, and we taught them some too.  The problem is that they simply won’t commit to do anything.  As a result, we are going to go find some people who are really searching for the truth.

I got a letter from jane the other day.  Her life is still a mess.  I wish there was something that I could do to help her.

Lately, I have really missed some of the things that I enjoyed about college.  For instance, I miss just goofing off. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever be able to take another year of this.  I also don’t want to ever quit being a missionary.  I love being a missionary, it’s just that sometimes I get tired.  I want to be so tired at the end of my mission that i can’t even get out of bed for weeks.  Growth is tiring, maybe that’s why I’m so darn tired.  if I’m growing half as much as I’m tiring, then it is well worth it.

I don’t like days when we have to drop investigators.  It always makes me feel very alone.